Isolated by misophonia

[Odijay]

Misophonia.. possible ADHD and definitely on the spectrum. This makes me hypersensitive and very literal but miso is Killing my marriage. Or is it already dead.

My husband has been through hell and back with cancer, and continued health issues. The latest being coughing and snotting constantly - no end in sight - it’s been 5 months since it got bad. I cannot stand to be around him, and when I am I can’t help but tell him to shut up.

Separate bedrooms now which I thought would never happen

I want to be around him. I miss our previous relationship. But I can’t see things changing. I’m lonely, no one to talk to so bury myself in work, horses and art. 

I feel like I’m grieving, and feel also guilt all the time. I try to just go about life - I feel so sorry for him but that doesn’t help me to co trip how I feel when I’m around. 

just wish I could have someone to talk to when I feel like this. 

have had plenty counseling over the years and also recently. No real solution to my/our problem. 

[Odijay]

You have made a difference just by reading what I’m saying and taking the time to reply. Believe me. Thank you. 
can I suggest looking at I shrink me. It’s 100% about dealing with emotional eating and the mind rather than the food. I’m battling to maintain my weight at the moment, although I’ve only gained 2kg but as I know I’m not in a great place, and from what I’ve learned not feeling ‘safe’ is a trigger for the body to protect itself and put weight on. I don’t feel I’m in a safe place atm because I feel a bit lost without the relationship with hubby I’ve known for so long. I’m not diagnosed so don’t know where I am on spectrum, my Counsellor questioned the need for a diagnosis, I feel I want a definitive diagnosis but haven’t gone there. I know I’m on the spectrum well and truly… I just know. As I go to bed tonight I’m feeling quite sad. My daughter is visiting and our political opinions came into discussion and I realized I can’t talk to her about this subject. Her beliefs are polar opposite to mine and it’s made me feel sad that she doesn’t respect and can’t discuss these things. Hubby had a Ménière’s attack also tonight. Just never ends. In bed with my two whippets anyways… till they annoy me and I kick them out 😂 I do feel a little better after putting my feelings here. Again thank you as this is helping 🙏🏼

[Odijay]

Also I gotta tell you. I have severe Achilles tendinitis, severe pain with it. Lost exactly 28 kg and no more pain!!! So much to be said for it. Been life changing for me. No I just need my situation to change too