Is this regular depression?

[guest146]

Hi BeyondBlue, 

After reading some of the threads here, I decided to post and seek feedback. 

I have been diagnosed with bipolar for a decade, but after reading the forums, I am beginning to think I show much stronger signs of depression. 

I am always "coming down". It has taken over my weekends, my job, I struggle to maintain friends because sooner or later they get distant, and I've scared off so many people with my behavior and tendency to be inconsistent, negative and destructive. I am anxious and self conscious alot of the time. I have very few hobbies outside of work because I'm depressed enough not to be able to get into activities, and I have trouble navigating basic directions, functions, get lost easily etc. I have sought professional help and medication without any luck so far, and I have suicidal thoughts on a weekly basis.

This is a hard and dysfunctional existence 😞

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[Jacko777]

Hi JAdams,

I am glad you are talking about this mate, people on this site will have support and advice for you. 

So where are you at right now with seeking professional help? Obviously you need to know what is going on so you can treat it. As you have found, this can be a journey rather than a destination, so if you can keep moving on your path you will surely come to some appropriate solutions eventually. We come to a critical choice, to enjoy the journey, or not. The more times we can choose the positive, the more natural it becomes. And take some satisfaction from the steps you take, no matter how small. Your post is a BIG step JAdams, well done.

If you can spend some time with a good therapist you may be able to work through and find different causes for your different concerns (you probably have already).

So what hobbies can you keep up? What are you passionate about? Is it possible to allocate some time for your chosen activity and practice focusing completely on what you are doing? And last question for now! Do you meditate? It could help you a lot right now. I really do hope that things will improve for you mate, keep us posted.

[geoff]

dear JAdams, welcome to the site, sometimes it takes people a while to decide to post, but after reading other comments they feel as though it's time to put your own thoughts out for discussion, and it's important that they do, so well done.

I understand that you feel as though you maybe depressed and from what you have said there's no doubt that you are, and the most concerning issue here is your daily which can lead into having weekly thoughts of taking your own life, so it now becomes a very serious problem, so as your post grows we have to try and help you.

Can I ask if you are seeing a psychologist or a psychiatrist at the moment because personally I think that there's a huge difference, and if it's the former then your doctor will be prescribing the medication. so I would also like you when you feel as though you can to google a couple of different types of antidepressants, SSRI and SNRI.

I am only asking this because both can have different effects on different people, whereas someone taking a SNRI  might not help, but perhaps a SSRI would benefit them considerably.

It may seem to be an enormous task so please take your time. Geoff.