Is it possible to make new friends when you're depressed?

[Phoenix_]

I’m very alone, and am having trouble coping with this. I’ve joined lots of organisations to try to make friends, and for three years I succeeded in pretending that I was cheerful and friendly and helpful (and people have complimented me on how cheerful etc I am); but only a few people have wanted to be friends with me, and most of those have walked out of my life anyway. I’ve had more rejections than I can handle, I’m more depressed than ever, I’m not able to pretend any more, so I expect I would scare off anyone new.

I have run out of psychology visits for this year, but I wouldn’t have needed so many if I had people in my life to have regular conversations with. There are 3-4 nice people I can talk to maybe once a month, when they have time, but they are all busy with work and family most of the time, I'm a much lower priority.

It seems that the more you need friends, the harder it is to find any.

[kanga_brumby]

Phoenix your problem is the same as mine so Robinson Caruso your not. I can count my friends on one hand with five digits left uncounted. I have people who I bump into and people in here. My family does not even visit me. I try to hard to be friendly it chases most people away.

[MsPurple]

HI Phoenix.

I know it is possible to make friends even with depression because I was able to make friends even with depression. I do believe I did wear a mask for apsects of our new friendship, but it didn't take long to take the musk off. I think when I first meet someone I try find common ground. I generally don't discuss mental health until a friendship is sustained. I just find it isn't a relevant point to bring up straight off the bat, and I find it is hard for someone to show understanding for you if they don't know you.

I also just want to ask how many appointments have you seen your psych? With most initial mental health care plans you get 6 appointments. You can sometimes go to the GP for a review and they can extend your mental health plan by another 4 sessions (max is 10 a year). I did this last year and I found it was great. If not have you considered asking what their rates are? Some private health insurances do pay for parts of the cost. I know for a lot of people (including myself) paying all upfront is not an option, but if it is for you I would consider it if you have found it beneficial.

MP

[geoff]

hi Phoenix, yes it is possible to make new friends when you're depressed, maybe these people have in some way had it themselves or may have encountered it before by one of their family members and know that we are people who pretend we are happy, when they know you're just hiding it, they understand this and can read through the lines.
Other 'friends' who don't know anything about depression will disappear and this could include your best mate, sure that upsets you, but really are they worth chasing after, not really because there are people who are also pretending to be happy and all it will take is to ask them a question such as 'what is coming up this week that will be hard because I've got this and I'm not looking forward to it' or 'what times of the day are the hardest for you'.
They maybe so relieved that at least someone knows what they're talking about, imagine that kid who is always by themselves, how do they feel, lonely and only wishing they had someone to talk to go and start a conversation, it doesn't have to be about much. Geoff.