Hope everyone is doing well!
To start: any given point in time i have like 1000 running thoughts (not harmful just to clarify) they can be literally about anything, e.g. say i am walking in park and see bird my thoughts are: (beautiful, this bird is free, can do anything, but there is struggle to find food & water, how they live alone etc..)
I mean literally you put me anywhere and i have something going on in my mind. I work full time everything is going really well in my life, except this one.
Now the first part: at the end of the day or sometimes during midday i feel sad for no reason, thinking about whats going on with me etc. and i feel depressed for the smallest thing say, if something not going well with my friends, someone i know struggling or something bad happening around me.
All of of sudden i am extreme sad and stressed, to overcome these feeling i used to drink and it just let me feel bit relaxed and temporary stop those feelings. But then i realised i am bit addicted to alcohol and i am giving myself excuses ot stress and depression to drink it. Then i decided to stop drinking for 100 days and yes i did it, i did not even touch it, after that period i drink socially like 1 or 2 drinks every friday night and without any reason. I am really happy with that.
Now here is the second part when i stopped drinking alcohol i kinda unknowingly developing other addiction/habit i don't know what to call it. So say when i am stressed i really need to feel relax and happy i am either having sex with girlfriend if she not available or don't want, then i masterbet and i feel happy. Now i kinda liking that feeling more and more, it is not about the sex but the feeling after. Now i am more addicted to that feeling! The problem is it does not last longer and i want to do it more.
Recently immediately after sex/masterbetting i tell to myself man, this is not right and i must stop, and i even promise to myself not doing it again. But say max after 2 days i do it again, same i either go and spend few may hours on dating app without much success then eventually i masterbet. (i also started watching porn etc).
The amount of time i am wasting is huge and it started impacting on my day to day things. I am not sure is it a depression or sex addiction now? I Really want to STOP this, please help!
Thank you!
