Intense empty feelings

[Alannah57]

My ex called me and I feel like he just wants to use me to get over his ex again. I feel all these feelings on pessimism, anger and I’ve had depressive empty thoughts. I want to self-destruct a bit feeling-wise, although obviously I’m sensible enough not to do anything destructive. How do you cope with bile from your head? I really want to drink to cope or just scream or go swimming in ice cold water, I know that sounds intense but I am on the bipolar spectrum.

[white knight]

Hi

Your best avenue here is to go to this ongoing thread

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/staying-well/this-bipolar-life

Your feelings are quite normal for all us bipolars. it isnt nice.

TonyWK

[The_Bro]

Hi Alannah57 and thanks for your post.

Yea it is pretty rotten when you recognise someone is using you as it plays with your self esteem quite a lot. This can lead to not liking that person very much at all, and we all know what harm negative thought can bring!

I used to find that exercise helped hugely - sometimes the more intense, the greater the relief.

Something to do with endorphins I think. You mentioned plunging into ice cold water - if a swim is not available try immersing yourself under a cold shower, the shock may be calming!

All the very best with coping, we try to be here for you.

Regards, The Bro

[Sophia16]

Hi Alannah,

It sounds like you are going through a tough time. It must be tough dealing with an ex who treats you like that.

How do you usually cope in tough situations? What things do you enjoy most?

Sometimes using certain coping mechanisms in situations like these can be super helpful.

Stay safe and i am always here to chat.

[geoff]

Hello Alannah, you broke up with your ex for whatever reason, but it's not good for them to contact you when trying to overcome an ex.

Drinking only delays what's going to happen in the future, it doesn't solve any problems at all and it can cause many other concerns because you can't think clear enough or straight to the point, I tried for many years and only ended up in divorce.

Try blocking his phone number and try not to go on the social sites where he makes comments, none of this will help you to recover.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

[sbella02]

Hey Alannah57,

Thank you for your post, and a warm welcome back to our forums.

It can always be difficult when an ex reaches out, because it can bring up negative feelings and thoughts that we haven't experienced since they were last in our lives. Honestly, removing people from my past on social media has really helped me, because it also works to eliminate the urge to contact them again.

Turning your feelings into productivity can really help. Do you have a few hobbies that you like doing? Engaging in hobbies and passions can help you cope with these feelings and emotions, or as The Bro has said, exercise is another great way to cope.

Do you have anybody close to you who you could confide in? They may have some specific advice that they know would help you out.

If you feel comfortable, you can always have a chat to a therapist, counsellor, psychologist, or your GP about how you're feeling, and they can give you some professional advice.

I hope this helps, feel free to continue chatting with us here if you'd like, we're here to support you.

All the best, SB