Hey there,
Thank you so much for opening up to us here, we warmly welcome you to the forums. My heart breaks for you, I'm so sorry that you're feeling like this.
Just from reading your post, it sounds to me like you have a lot of compassion for others - you're thinking about your mother's feelings after her heartbreak, and you're thinking about your wife deserving to be happy in her life. It also sounds to me like you may worry a lot about what others are thinking, or maybe what they are thinking about you, and I can imagine how heavy that burden would be for you.
Have you spoken to your wife about how you're feeling? It may be worth having a really open and honest conversation to talk through how you've been struggling and allow her to express how she may be feeling as well. You may find that this resolves resentment from recurring arguments, as well as allowing you both a safe space to communicate you may need/want from each other moving forward.
While you may feel that your absence would be better for her, she may not feel the same way, and I would say it's important to keep her in the loop when you're making big decisions that could affect you both. In my experience, running away from something may ease your mental load for a short while, but it may exacerbate it in the long-term.
I hope this helps, please feel free to keep chatting with us more if you'd like, we're here to support you.
Take care, SB
