Hi Ronnii
Welcome to Beyond Blue and thank you for coming here and sharing your post – with all the thoughts you’ve provided. And wowee, I can let you know straight away that you are definitely not on your own. This awful illness drags us into terribly dark places and over-rules our minds with “emptiness and nothingness” and as you know, it’s such a hard and difficult struggle to overcome.
Things seem to have come to a head for you now, with all the awesome coping mechanisms that usually work for you are not having any effect. I say awesome coping mechanisms, as they are that. They are amongst the things that I try as well; and that I also share to others on this site – but at times, as everyone is different, it’s a matter of asking them of their fave past-times, interests, etc.
I’m a bit skeptical as to your psychologists intentions – “take a pill”??? What the … ? I’m assuming here that you are on anti-depressants prescribed for you by your doctor and that was the pill that he/she was referring too? Medication is only a part-assistance with mental health issues; a bit like counselling is; a bit like going for a run is; a bit like going to the gym is; a bit like … ok, you get my drift. But to take a pill?? I wished it was that easy and was the way it worked.
These feelings that you describe of what you don’t want to do and not wanting to get out of bed – have these been ongoing for a fair while now, or is it something only recent? If the latter, was there some recent event to get you to this low, dark place??
Ronnii, do you work at the moment? If so, then that is brilliant because (a) it’s a solid reason for you to get up and going each morning; and (b) it’s also a great distraction for the mind during the day – with things to do and work on, it helps occupy yourself.
I know I’ve written a fair bit here, but am unsure as to its quality – but I hope that there’s something in there above that has helped or even triggered something for you to ponder.
I would also very much love to hear back from you as well.
Kind regards
Neil
