I feel so lost and deeply sad that nothing can cheer me up again!

Spinifex
Community Member

Hi all,

Been trying so hard to keep my inner strength intact and then I realise i have been putting a mask on my emotions that i feel like i am coming apart at the seams. I am fighting the hardest battle in my life. Myself. Coming right back to this dont fit in to this world again feeling. My real battle is that i know i have most of the answers to my own problems but get so lost then i get oozing waves of deppressed emotions so strong that causes  panic attacks and feelings of uselessness. Everthing is such an effort and i am feel like i am winging even when i am seeking help and support. I am unemployed Horticulturist and reached a point in my life being 50 years old that time is flying by and yet i cringe every day i waste away with sabotaging thought processes and realising i am not very employable due to unreliability due to not coping eventhough i have tried cbt and councellors. How do you guys hold down a job when you're moods fluctuate  that it impacts your performance reguraly? Does anybody actually understand me here? I read the newspaper today and upon reading the latest cases of terrible domestic violence i cried like a baby. Whats my problem i said to myself but i am still deppressed to the core. Hope to chat to somebody who understands me.Mick

 

13 Replies 13

EFL
Blue Voices Member

Gday Mick,

 

Lots of great posts and ideas here to help.

Having a feeling or worthlessness and not knowing what to do to break the cycle of failure is a terrible feeling and their is no quick and easy solution. Every day I feel this same pain as I keep trying to succeed in many aspects of my life but I never seem to ever reach any of my goals and I just keep drowning in my addictions.

The things I do to keep on track and keep myself moving forward, is to succeed in the things that I have control over and that I can be proud of. I want to be healthy and fit and feel good in my body so I can lead an active life. Being fit and healthy brings new opportunities into your life and makes you feel energised to be able to achieve the things you wouldn't be able to do if you were overweight and non active. Helping others is such a rewarding benefit and it opens you up to a world of benefits. You don't have to go and save the world or donate all your time or effort. It may be just helping some cross the street or sharing a joke with someone on the street. Yes it sounds so simple and easy but it does give you a state of euphoria and gives you a sense of worth to someone and yourself.

The other thing that helps me, is to clean up all the clutter in my life that is frustrating me and causing me to feel anxious and upset. It may just be cleaning up your house or organising all you bills. I know when I am drowning in debt and bills that I like to hide all my mail and pretend it doesn't exist. All this does is make my depression and anxiety worse, as I will have to face a bigger disaster at some stage.

Help others with their problems. Sharing with others is a beautiful thing as through sharing pain, we some times can find the answer to our problems or even better feel the pleasure of helping someone else move forward in theirs. Don't focus all your time on others but find answers to solve your own problems through helping others.

I know all these words might not get you a job tomorrow but I do hope it starts to give you some clarity on how to make a step forward towards a great job. I will send a wish out to the world for you that a job will come your way and I hope that you feel happiness and love every day onwards.

 

Zac

 

 

Hi Helenlight,

 Thankyou i really appreciate your wisdom and quote regarding knowing but not solving. Once i get myself out of being in survival mode i think i might have a better chance in holding a job. Right now though if i send out 10 resumes i can get 5 interviews and secure 3 positions but sabotage it all and waste everybodys time . Crazy hey! Thanks again Mick

 

 

 

Spinifex
Community Member
Hi Geoff,  t b anks for your reply, yes i am pretty ungrounded and have soughtmuch help. I am helping my wife who we are seperated to get organised and support her to her new accomadation in time. I myself on the otherhand have become a sad sack indeed. I am seeing a councellors tomorrow morning with my new care plan. Will try and elaborate further during the week. My first posts as you noted in your reply were mixed up and very difficult to open up. I now see how this forum and webpage works and appreciate all advice accordingly. Nice photo Geoff with your dog. Great Avatar.  Thanks Mick

Spinifex
Community Member
Hi Grace, well i understand how you feel. Its crazy hey, check out some of the great inspirational reply posts. Hope they help you too. Cheers, take care, Mick