I feel like I'm losing myself

[Triceratops]

I moved at the start of the year after being homeless for a little bit. I had no other choice but to move into the place where I am now. It was all good for the first couple of weeks but then it turned. I have depression and anxiety, I had been doing well until it became clear that I'm stuck in a toxic environment. My housemate is an alcoholic and has a few other issues which she puts on me, she also can't take medication as it has the same effect as alcohol. There's now been numerous times where shes been intoxicated and yelled at me accusing me of things that aren't true. When I try to defend myself I get told to shut up over and over again. I can feel myself slowly disappearing, it's like I'm sinking into a hole and I can't get out. I am losing myself, I feel like I'm drowning. I'm trying to find work so I can leave but I'm not having any luck and I honestly don't know how much longer I can last here. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm losing.

[Croix]

Dear Triceratops~

Welcome here to the Forum. there are a fair few here who have been homless and after that just about anything can seem better.

From the sound of it there is little you can do about your housemate's behavior, if she behaves in a toxic manner for wahtever reason it makes things very hard.

To try to protest or respond may not be the best strategy. Really your own frame of mind is the important thing. You need the confidence and perspective to see her for what she is and that while she might live at the same address has no right to go crook at you like that .

May I ask if you are current under treatment for your depression and anxiety? As someone who had lived with those I can understand very easily how everything can assume huge importance, with worry and even despair as a result. If you are under treatment I'd suggest you see your doctor and explain the extra pressure you are under now.

Of course if you are not under treatment then seeing a GP and explaining how you feel would be a very good idea. It was the only way I improved and got better at coping.. I can appreciate with little money a bulk-billing doctor may be your only option.

What I'm trying to suggest is that you need coping skills so all this does not get to you as badly. Apart from medical support is there anyone else to help?

I'd also mention that one of the things that has worked for me is to try each day to do something for myself, something I enjoy and look forward to. I use books and movies. What sort of things might suit you?

Croix