Hi liw
Definitely important to purge some of the heavy stuff, so important. Whether it's the weight of the world that we're carrying or a heavy heart or both, sometimes it's just too much to hold. And sometimes it's okay if the overflow comes out our eyes in the form of tears. That's seriously okay.
liw, sometimes I think we're under the illusion that we're meant to know what to do under just about any circumstances. It's kinda like the older you get, the wiser you're automatically meant to be or that's what we tell ourself. The truth is wisdom comes from experience and sometimes it's the toughest of experiences that bestows the greatest levels of wisdom upon us. For example, while we may proclaim ourself as being wise enough to know what love is and what it feels like, the fact is we can be somewhat ignorant. I've found the absolute depths and fullness of love has made itself known to me through the loss of my mum this time last year, the woman I'd class as my best friend. How deeply we feel a loss or how deeply we feel ourself losing someone is in some form an expression of how deeply we are capable of loving. With this kind of love in its most confronting form, there can be so much to process, so many feelings we've never felt before. While common threads can run through our life, a pulled thread here can relate to something along that line in the past. Whether the common thread relates to loss, to love, to a sense of identity or sense of self, a sense of loneliness or a questioning of life and purpose, it's amazing how much can be impacted when there's a pull (to address that thread).
Btw, while the busyness or business of life attracts our focus, we feel what we focus on. If what we focus on is joyful, we feel the joy. If what we focus on is amusing, we feel the amusement and so on. From my own experience, I've found there comes a time when what needs to be addressed pulls our focus toward it and everything else exists peripherally. Now, what has our focus is again what we feel. Sadness calls for us to address it, trauma calls for us to address it, loss calls for us to address it etc etc. Such things call for us to address them and make greater sense of them. And while we can shift focus away for a time, even if it's just for emotional relief, that which is meant to come into focus will make itself known to us again.
liw, my heart goes out to you so much as you face one of the most intense and deeply challenging times in your life. Don't expect to automatically know how to do this. Be kind, compassionate and patient with yourself. ❤️
