I feel as though I am stuck

[RC16]

I’m a 24-year-old female who was first diagnosed with depression, GAD and PTSD and 16. I grew up in a turbulent and violent household which had an overwhelming impact on my life. Since then, I have always been on this “roller coaster” of mental health. Consistent highs and lows. Now at 24, I feel more confused, afraid and alone than I ever have before. I have no one to talk to about what is going on in my head, and when I have talked about it I’m met with responses such as: “do you think you’re the only one?” and “all you do is complain and I’ve reached my threshold with you”. This has come from family, friends and worst of all, my partner. I feel so desperately alone and I’m struggling to maintain my life. I work 3 days a week and attend university and every single day is a battle to manage, both work and uni have suffered because most days I struggle to leave my house.
For the past 2-3 years, I’ve been addicted to smoking marijuana. It is a secret that I have kept from every single person in my life, and it’s the only thing that helps me to feel ok. I have no motivation to do anything else, I don’t enjoy anything that I used to enjoy.
I just don’t know what to do. I don’t want to live but I’m too scared to die. I don’t know who to talk to or where to turn. I feel like I’m being tortured by my own mind. I just don’t know what to do and I’m scared. I just want to be understood

[CJames]

Hi RC16,

Firstly, there is always someone there willing to listen to you. Help is always available through Beyond Blue – 1300 22 4636 or Lifeline Australia – 13 11 14. If you feel in danger or have strong thoughts of ending your life, make sure to contact 000 immediately.

What a great place to come to primarily to be understood, this is a judge free zone all in your best interests.

I'm so sorry to hear about your rocky past; it's a shame something like this has happened to such a good person like yourself. Have you sought help recently for your anxiety or PTSD? It can be a really great way to keep moving forward; there's no going backwards.

RC, don't ever feel alone. You're in a world of soo many, especially people like me and others on this forums who only want the best for you. I assume the family is a no go for support, have you tried speaking to anyone at your UNI? Talking to your on-campus councillor can do so many positive things for your mental wellbeing. Have you made any friends you can trust there?

Although you may not be the only one, you're entitled to as much help as the next person. Dealing with depression and anxiety is a case by case basis, some require different needs, often the stereotype being one solution fits all. Don't listen to whoever is saying that stuff, you're worth the world.

What is your relationship like with your partner? Do you believe it affects your mental health?

Battling study and work can be a crazy balancing act; you can be working a 10 hour day then be suddenly met by a mountain of work. May I ask what you're studying? And also do you have any techniques in place that allow you to wind down and relax once and a while?

Looking after yourself always comes first.

The use of drugs can often hinder conditions, even though you may feel it makes it better. Especially with the prescribing of medication. Just be careful and truthful with medical professionals if you seek help when been diagnosed or prescribed. I don't see any problem with not telling anyone such as friends and family, is there a need for them to know?

What did you use to enjoy? What were your hobbies? And Why do you believe you don't enjoy such tasks anymore?

If you're 24 now I would suggest speaking to a service like Headspace, they will point you in the right direction, along with the support of this forum.

I wish you the best of luck, keep in contact and updated.

I'm here for you ❤️

C.

[Ggrand]

Hello RC16,

Welcome to the forums.

Im really sorry you are struggling with GAD and PTSD.i also struggle with those as well. The consistent highs and lows can make you feel so exhausted and tired..

RC just curious if you've ever thought about professionals to help you manage your mental health..I tried to fix myself without professional help and it's just to hard, Please RC I'm just hoping you will consider going to your gp and tell him how your feeling, gp will give you a referral to psychologist and then get you a mental health care plan started..

Its hard for anyone to understand gad and ptsd unless they themselves have experienced them.. thats why I recommend you to seek professional help..Your issues are very important and so are you so please hun look after yourself..

Do you do meditation in the morning? I have a lot of trouble leaving my home, so I need to calm my thoughts before I leave.. I usually will do a Morning meditation and deep breathing, I always carry a little grounding box/packet that I have made up for myself in case I get to anxious and start to panick while I'm in town....The grounding thread will explain about grounding and show you how to make a little box/package..

Depression takes away our enjoyment of what we like to do..I try as hard as I can to do something I like each day. When I'm thinking not good thoughts,mi Will distract my thoughts to something I like doing...it gives our minds a rest...was their something that you can remember that you liked doing?

Please keep talking here, we will try try and guide you in the right direction and try to help you as much as we can..

Please take good care of yourself. Your important and we are..

Warm and kind thoughts,

Grandy..