How do you get past it?

[Leisa68]

Hi there,

I am a middle-aged woman. As I have previously written, last week I was diagnosed with Bi-Polar Disorder. I trying to get my head around it and will do what my psychiatrist tells me to do to stay well. One thing really is affecting me is the fact that I was not diagnosed earlier. Would it have made a difference in my life? I have lost so much through my behaviour, and even I could not understand why I was behaving the way I was. I have suffered a very serious depression early last decade that almost took my life. I have lost friends and jobs. I now to get better, but I cannot help but feel like I've lost something important in my life. I am sure that others are going through this as well. How do you accept this?

Thank you

Leisalou

[missep123]

Hi Leisa68,

I think that you are definitely not alone in how you are feeling. I think that you are showing a lot of insight! I'm sorry that you have lost friends and jobs on the way 😞 Would it help maybe to see this as a new chapter? A new opportunity to do things differently that may have different outcomes?

In my life I like the idea of new chapters so then I have a chance to do things differently. I don't regret the old chapters because they are just a part of my life and my journey.

Here for you!

[Leisa68]

Hi Missepp,

Thank you for replying to my post. I like the idea of starting new chapters, but the losses are too big for me to bear at the moment. I am trying to stay above it all, but feel like I've missed out on so much. I have just lost another job due to another medical condition I have called Posterior Tibial Tendon Dysfunction. This usually happens to someone who is in their very late life, I have just happened to get it early. I have to have surgery however due to COVID 19 it will not be this year. Both my feet have collapsed and they need to be fixed with rods and screws back in place. My recovery time will be three months off my feet.

So sorry for being so dramatic, it's another loss to me, and I feel like I have lost so much already, so much taken away. I am being a bit of a 'teary dearie' today, but might be better tomorrow. This plus the Bi-Polar diagnosis within two weeks has just been too much.

Maybe there is something out there that I could be useful for.

Thanks so much

Leisalou

[White_Rose]

Dear Leisalou

Hello and welcome to the forum. I am pleased you found this forum and hope we can help and support you.

I am sorry to learn about your physical difficulties. It sounds horrid and I am presuming it causes a great deal of pain. It must be difficult not being able to have surgery until next year. I take it this means you will not be able to work until after the surgery. Will you be able to have CentreLink payments?

It must have been a huge shock to learn about the Bipolar Disorder. There is a thread called This Bipolar Life which you can find in the Staying Well forum. It's been going for a while. You might like to read some of the later posts and join in the conversation. I think it could help you.

It doesn't help a great deal I imagine to now understand why you behaved in certain ways in the past. I can see what a huge loss this must be for you. I think many others can relate to the shock of discovering they have a mental illness which they had not even thought of. It has the power to turn your world upside down. Combined with your PTTD it is very hard to get your head around these things. Glad you are going to work with your psychiatrist on this.

What would your life have looked like if this had been diagnosed earlier? That's always a huge question. So many things come to light later than it seems possible and we wonder why and get upset. I had therapy from a psychologist for three years before it was discovered he was a fraud. I had spoken about my deepest feelings, revealed 'stuff' I would never tell anyone else. Now, five years later, I am still wary of anyone who claims to be a mental health professional. I gave my trust and it was abused. I feel I cannot trust anyone again and this makes it almost impossible to gain anything from therapy.

Different situations but both with such pain and regret. How do we cope and is there any hope for us. I count myself lucky that the GP who supported me through this trauma is still my mental health GP. I truly believe I would not trust anyone else. I am living a new chapter but it has had so much pain. All I can do is carry on and work on getting over it. You too will learn ways of coping and go on to live a more comfortable life.

Mary

[Leisa68]

Hi Mary,

Thank you so much for your post and support. I will look up This Bipolar life, thank you. I am shocked by what happened to you. How awful to have that happen to you. However, I agree with you it's best to carry on and work on getting over it. The other side of the coin (completely becoming angry and feel helpless and depressed) is not going to help anyone, especially my self. I have my son who's nine and he is the light of my life. He does have Autism, but I think he is amazing. After reading the above posts I realise that to help him and myself, I need to learn ways of coping. I'm sure I will have bad days like anyone. But if I can learn, I can help him when/if he needs me to as he gets older.

I feel humbled by both posts, I will get there and join the community from time to time.

Thanks so much

Leisa68

[missep123]

Hi Leisa68,

I don't think you are being over dramatic! What you are going through sounds so difficult and you are staying strong through it. Your emotions and feelings are completely valid!

It was so wonderful to read that your son is so special to you. You mentioned hoping that you can find something that you will be useful for. I know you will! I think our experiences really help to make us grow and learn about ourselves. I think that people in similar positions who read your post will also feel comforted that they are not alone.

White Rose- I'm sorry to hear you've had an experience like that with a mental health professional. As somebody who is studying to be one, I can assure you that we are not all like that! I hope that you can regain hope in the profession. Also awesome to hear about the Bipolar Life thread! I hope that Leisa68 you may find this to be helpful.

What a wonderful feeling to support each other!