How do I get help?

[luminouspotato]

Hi,

I have been struggling with depression for a few years, but lately it's gotten so so much worse. To the point where I don't know if anything is really worth it anymore. I'm in pain all the time and I just want everything to stop for a while.

I feel like I really need someone to talk to. And so I have this friend who knows about my depression and is super supportive of me and is just great. But we don't talk much and when we do I feel like it's usually about how I am and how things are going for me. I feel really really guilty about this and so I started to just lie to him and tell him I'm fine, then at least he won't be worrying about me and he'll be okay. But he can tell when I'm lying and I feel like I'm just making him feel bad about it.

I also don't want to burden him with all my problems and just drag him down. I don't know what to do. But if I don't talk to him then I have nobody else to talk to and everything is just getting so bad and I just can't.

I really just need to talk to him about everything, he is the only person that I feel like I can talk to. But I feel like I'm being selfish and taking advantage of the fact that he is nice and is willing to listen, so that I am just putting all my problems onto his shoulders - too much for him to handle and just dragging him down to my level. I just can't handle this by myself anymore. But I don't want to be one of those people that hurt him while trying to help myself. If that makes any sense. I don't really know what I'm doing and I just don't know how to get help or do anything anymore. I don't want to feel this crap all the time but I don't want to hurt anybody else while I'm trying to fix that.

I just don't know

[Jackson85]

Hi luminouspotato (great name, by the way),

Thanks for sharing your story, and I totally understand the feeling of always wanting to vent your worries and feelings to someone close to you, but know that each time you do that, it can take a toll on them.

The good news is, that is exactly what a psychologist or counsellor is for. The whole goal of therapy is for you to go and share your ideas and feelings to a non-judgmental, unconditionally supportive, caring, listening ear. They hear your story, and help you prod around inside it to find solutions to your problems which you didn't even know were there. A GP can help set up a mental health care plan for you, and refer you to a psychologist, with medicare rebates which are pretty reasonable.

From what you describe, it sounds like talking to someone (a counsellor or psychologist) could really help you. I've been to maybe 5 in my time, and I absolutely love it, I come out feeling rejuvinated every time, and I loved being able to talk for an hour, without my wife having to listen to it! In fact, I ditched my career in engineering to become a psychologist, so I really believe in the caring support it offers 🙂

Let me know if that sounds like something you would be up to, otherwise, there are a bunch of helplines you can call just to chat to someone, like Lifeline on 13 11 14.

Hang in there,

Jackson85