HeartBreak Hotel

[SonjaKS7]

Hi guys, I'm Sonja, and I'm new to this site.
I came here seeking help, advice, and to just try and make a little headway in understanding things.
I'm a mother, and have been increasingly finding things difficult, mainly over the last 2 years, my feelings have been increasing, causing some pretty unwarranted and uncomfortable issues, and I'm really getting to a point of trying to make at least a little sense of the goings on.
one of my biggest fears, is when I have a bout, (which can last anywhere from a mere few days to an exceedingly uncomfortable few weeks)
but the most disconcerting part of getting so upset, feeling sad, angry and alone, isn't THOSE feelings, as much as an extremely heavy and crushing heartbreak feeling.
sometimes, I can see why it happens, and to a degree I understand the causality of it, but of late (last 2 years) it has been increasing, so much so that, the episodes, which I see the reasoning and understand why it happens, are decreasing, and the instances for it happening without something as a trigger are increasing. now as I said before my sad, angry and lonely feelings, aren't so much the problem, as this heartbreak feeling.
These days, I can almost sense when it's going to happen, but there's nothing I can do to stop it.
when I understand what causes it, it still hurts, but it's all the more easier to handle, when it's triggered without arational reason, it's all the more difficult to cope with, and in spite of this, my loving partner still stands by me, and I KNOW I don't make it easy for him, or my 2 lovely, miraculous, gorgeous children, that all do so much for me.
but I just can't shake this feeling that things aren't right, and then the heartbreak feeling sets in and I can cry for days, or even WEEKS, and it thoroughly upsets and drains me.
has anyone else ever felt like this?
Does anyone have some simple suggestions to maybe slow down, and curb this monster?

[white knight]

Hi Sonja welcome

I cant stress enough the importance of a correct diagnosis. It is critical to your future.

I've had severe heartbreak issues all my life. With correct meds based of course on the right diagnosis things are much better.

All along I had bipolar 2, depression and dysthymia. Dysthymia???  yep, google it. It can be a crippling constant low mood and it can lead to effecting your relationship.

Dysthymia is but one possibility and its just one example of what could be your problem.

You owe it to your devoted partner to pursue this to the best of your ability.

Tony WK

[ci]

Hi sonjaks7

Your post sounds so familiar to me I  to for last few years noticed something wrong and had episodes like you explain well I  still do. It is awful feeling and really scary like you its not triggered at something anymore just happens. For me things got worse and worse I hide it from everyone and didn't persist with seeking help from doc found it hard to get time for app so I struggled in silence until things got even worse over this last year and my life is extremely hard day to day.

I wanted to say to you don't do the same as me get to a doc see someone to diagnose what is happening.there are so many treatments you could try. I know it's hard but please believe me won't get better on its own. 

Sounds like your partner is great I couldn't have got through this without mine so if you find it easier take him for support it helps. 

Lastly just wanted to say you not alone and things will let better.

[geoff]

dear Sonja, in what depression of any kind can do to any of us or perhaps all of us, has detrimental effects on how we try and struggle through life and even cause upset to our family and to those that are supporting us, but we have no power what's so ever to be able to stop these times when situations become serious, in other words we are unable to stop them from coming on, but only when we have help to learn on how to cope with them, and believe it, it's certainly possible.

Even when you or someone else is suffering from this illness it's always good to learn about what depression can do to us and the consequences and actions it causes us to have.

This won't stop all these feelings because no one can stop these sudden bursts that we have, because that's virtually impossible, as it's those deep concerns that we may know about or don't know about that cause the trouble, so that's why we need help.

When you have these sudden episodes, it's not only feeling miserable, maybe a bit of being ashamed, annoyed, but they make you so tired, because you are trying to life a decent life, but battling with yourself, as it's no different than trying to push a wheel up a hill.

Please can I suggest that you make an appointment with your doctor, and if you click onto 'Get Support' at the top of this page there are doctors who specifically deal with mental illness, and please don't be upset by me saying this, but they are aligned with BB, so someone will be able to help you.

Anybody with depression needs help to make them able to learn on how to cope with their illness, especially as you know when it is coming on. Geoff. x