Feeling Lost

Sa77 · ‎24-08-2015

It's been years of ups and downs and I guess I've got better at dealing with my depression by either hiding how I feel or just dealing with it. It's got to a point where I'm frustrated with just 'functioning' ok and being in every situation and watching others have fun and feel like I can't break through that barrier and feel the same way. Just want opinions on when you feel like your at a point where things can't get better, what do you do? What are the options out there for someone who feels like things may never feel any better?

HA1 · ‎24-08-2015

Hi Sar!

Thanks for your post - one which hit home with me in a big way. I lived with and dealt with my mental health issues all my life without the support or management strategies that I should have sought out. I went all my life hiding it and using various self medication strategies to deal with it. Not a good decision.

Can things get better? Well yes, .... I think. Accept your illness and adapt your lifestyle to manage that illness. I am not sure what your circumstances are or whether they are able to permit lifestyle changes that might be more helpful to manage your illness. Are you receiving professional support?

I am currently in the process of adapting to a lifestyle change that I hope will help me find the peace that I have always been looking for. but it took a whole lifetime to recognise that I had to do this.

I hope to hear more from you Sar.

Take care

K

White_Rose · ‎24-08-2015

Dear Sa77

Hello and thank you for talking about this topic. Welcome to Beyond Blue.

Have you been dealing with your depression on your own? It has been my experience, both personal and watching others, that rarely does DIY work for depression. So if you have been travelling this road I suggest getting help is the best way to move forward.

Our feelings are strange creatures. And they are creatures of habit. So if your normal train of thought when in company with a group of people enjoying themselves, is to say/think, "I can't be like that", then that's how you will remain. It's a bit like saying you can't swim. Why not, haven't you had lessons? No, never been in the water.

I realise this sounds simplistic and easy and of course it's not. It's recognizing that this is what you are doing that is the turning point. I think life can always get better if we are dissatisfied with what we have. The solution is basically in your hands. Get in the water!

Do I know how hard it is to motivate self? Sure do! Have I had to fight like hell to move two inches (five centimetres) Sure have! How did I do it? With great difficulty! Sorry if I sound flippant. I was anticipating your thoughts. This is why you need help from someone you trust.

Hiding your depression, as you know, does nothing to solve the problem, just makes it worse. Been there, done that! I wonder if you have dealt with it. Maybe pushed it away or down some rabbit hole only to find it popping up again. And now you can no longer squash it down. So what to do?

Well, my suggestion is to let it pop up again and do something constructive. Get help, look your problem in the face, work out why it bugs you and explore ways of putting it to rest. But not on your own. Sometimes you see only the tip of the iceberg and letting the whole thing surface can be too overwhelming. Start from scratch and see the whole process through, no matter how tough it is.

Will you hurt during this time? You betcha! Will you recover? You betcha!

Write in again.

Mary

sunlightguardian · ‎24-09-2015

Hi Sa77,

I know that sometimes when you are feeling this way, it is often hard to remember what it felt like to be happy. For me, what worked best was really just knowing that it will get better one day. The situation's not helpless, and with the support of friends and family and even a therapist, you will feel better. One of my favourite quotes which really moved me is "When there's a will, there's a way."

Even though recovery is not fast and easy, it will be worth all the effort in the end. If you are willing to learn and just 'let go' of dwelling in the negative emotions that weigh you down, you will get there.

I also suggest trying mindfulness meditation. When I first heard of this I thought "Hmmm it's not going to help that much right??" I was surprised at how effective it was. There are plenty of good mindfulness meditating techniques both in books and online and I find that by just focusing in on your senses, it can really give your mind a break from stress and unwanted thoughts.

Take care,

Steph

saturnzoon · ‎27-09-2015

I have had depression and social anxiety for as long as I can remember and at times it gets better but then something will happen and take you straight down again I believe that I must have done something in my past life cause it always goes around for me and I end up in hospital or respite twice a year for the past 5 years so I now know when something good happens or goes right I don't get happy anymore cause around the corner it goes bad again. I wonder if anyone has that or is it just that I'm jinxed the sad part about it us that it happens to my kids as well now and would give anything to change it but can't, I'm on a downward spiral again and just take tablets to try and block it, I have a chance to move to Sydney at the end of the December holidays with my young son against his father s wishes which is partly cause of safety issues but ever time I make a decision it usually is wrong and this one is the hardest I've had to make but don't know if I can follow through in case it backfires on me I'm so tired of trying to do the right thing when I never know anymore if it's rigjt or wrong don't know how much more I can take.

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sunlightguardian · ‎29-09-2015

Hi saturnzoon,

I'm so sorry that things have been going so hard for you. I know this sounds really hard to do, but try to focus on the here and now instead of predicting the future (humans think they're good at doing that but we really aren't). Remember that none of this is your fault and try to take on the obstacle of 'depression and anxiety' as the means to a new door of experience and understanding.

Try to do the things that genuinely make you happy. Make a list of them. Don't worry about the cost of the activity, how much time it will take or any inconveniences standing in the way (that can always be solved later on) and by doing these things, they can be a surprisingly good distraction even if it's just temporary and while doing them, try not to think of what will happen 'in the future'. Feeling good will never last forever, but neither will feeling bad or anything else in the World for that matter.

Also, have you tried going to a therapist and talking through things with them? If not, maybe go give it a try, it could be really worth it. 🙂

Take care and keep posting,

Steph 🙂

BigJ · ‎01-10-2015

Hi everyone,

I suffered from really bad depression when I was just 17 and I seriously thought that my life was not valuable, but I now believe that I am here for a reason and that we are all here for a reason. I had a severe car crush after my depression, I WASN'T ENDING MY LIFE AT ALL. When I survived I said "why was I saved"?. There are things that have happened in life that I can't bring to words describe but it is what keeps me going. If you find "that one thing", "that drive" to keep you going then you will never give up. "Go out there and find that drive".

Sa77 · ‎13-12-2015

Hi K,

Apologies for not replying straight away. I was receiving professional help a few more months ago, but because of work and life I haven't seen anyone for a while.

Like always there were a few good months, now just recently I've been feeling down struggling with a new job and general life.

I have a wonderful partner that supports me and is always there for me but for some reason I still feel like I'm alone even when I have a lot of support around me.

Sa77 · ‎13-12-2015

Hi Mary

Ive been known to get up at 7, look at the clock, see that it's 7 and then lie around and still think that it's probably now 9 but it's actually 4 o'clock in the afternoon. I work full time now, but back a few months ago I was trying to find a way to hide from the fact that I need to deal with my issues rather than sitting around and just letting time go bye. Working has allowed me to form some type of routine again which has been good for my health but still have underlying issues that I need to deal with.

Sarah

Sa77 · ‎13-12-2015

Hi Steph

It's true I can't remember the last time I felt really happy.

I've recently decided to go back on my antidepressants in hope that a little extra support will help me get the help that I really need to make changes so I have a better my future. Or like you said to find things that make me really happy

Sarah