Girlfriend left me due to depression, dont know what to do

[Vank98123]

Hi Im new to hear and apologies If this in the wrong section

About 3 weeks ago my girlfriend of a year and a half ended it out of no where over text and said she needs to work on herself. She has been going through alot at home and not knowing what to do this year ( as she has finished year 12). We very rarely had arguments, so I was surprised why she ended it out of no where we have had very little contact over text or calling and she always seems blunt and out of it. I feel like im getting a different response why each time first it was to work on herself and now its that she was bad for me (at no point in our relationship was it toxic) Ive told her I wanna help and support her and I understand that she needs her space, but I feel like she's just ignoring me

Im writing this to ask for some advice on what to do in this situation and also is it her talking or the depression saying she was not good for me and how can someone change so much pretty much over night?

Apologies for any bad grammar or spelling

Thanks in advance Van

[Nurse_Jenn]

Hi Vank98123,

Welcome to the forum. I am so sorry to hear about your relationship break up. To have a person you care about for over a year and a half do this via text would be quite hurtful I can imagine. It is really hard to 100% know what another person has been thinking about. Sometimes, people internalise their feelings a lot and it's possible she had been thinking about needing 'space' for some time and just felt ready when she messaged you. There also could have been a trigger or her depression. The fact is, you may never know entirely. It is really tough when you are not able to get the answers you are seeking. I have been in this situation myself some time ago.

The best advise I can offer is to focus on you and your own healing. I am not sure what that looks like for you but it might be an idea to start painting a picture of what are some things that make you feel good. This could be an activity or sport, a hobby you have been meaning to try or catching up with some friends or family. Making time for you while you are grieving the loss of your partner is so important. It is understandable that you spend some time thinking of the 'why' and 'what if' etc. but balancing this with time just for you and keeping your own mental health in check is really important.

I wonder if you have some close friends or family that you can be around over the weekend? It might be an idea to be close to people you care about who might be able to distract you during this tough time.

If you are feeling really stressed and feel like having a chat would help, you can always call the Beyond Blue support line. Sometimes just talking about your situation can help in a difficult moment. The support is available 24/7 on 1300 22 46 36.

You are not alone and if you feel comfortable, please write out your feelings here on the forum. We are listening.

Wishing you the best possible outcome,

Nurse Jenn