Gibberish

[Oddoneout]

I'm just sitting here and crying. I don't even know what made me, but all I can  feel is my heavy heart and a choked feeling in my throat. 

I have a family too, my wife and my 6 year old princess. I should be celebrating with them but here I am, writing here...

I don't need any support from people here, just want to write this here and just be forgotten. If someone reading this feels depressed, then I am sorry, it was not my intention. 

I don't know where I get this feeling from, but I think, if I were to suddenly disappear someday, not many people I know would realize I'm not there anymore... And please let me make myself clear, I am not getting suicidal thoughts, I am strong, not doing anything like that. I just don't think I can make a difference to anyone's life at all. I'm just expendable, replaceable...

Sure, I do things to keep my mind away from thinking this way, like having a hobby, playing music...but every now and then this feeling creeps up on me and reminds me of truth I'm trying to suppress. 

Some days are just too hard to get by, and I hope I've not upset anyone reading this but I just wanted to let it out. 

[Chicken_Wings]

Hey Oddoneout,

hopefully you'll return to the forum, if out of curiosity if nothing else. I know you said you didn't need support, but I just thought it write you a quick note.

what you're feeling is common as is the desire to just get it out by posting here. I think a lot of us do that here. The feelings of self doubt and low self worth and the crying are something experienced by people with depression.

can I suggest you have a chat to your GP, you don't have to feel like this, you can work on these thoughts and lead a happier life.

[Kazzl]

Hey Oddoneout, you are not expendable! And if you disappeared, no-one could call that six-year-old 'princess' the way you do.

It's good to get these feelings out, if only to acknowledge them to yourself. Took me a long time to do that. So well done you.

You might think you're the odd-one-out but if you read around the forum you'll see you're not - there's load of us here who are like you, and who understand how you're feeling. It's crap isn't it. But it is there, and you can fight it with some help. 

Come back and chat for a while. I'd love to hear about your princess. As a mum of daughters I have a real soft spot for little gals.

And tell me, do you play an instrument? 

Hope we hear from you again.

Cheers Kaz

[White_Rose]

Dear Oddoneout

Welcome to the forum. You have gone to a lot of effort to write in here and vent. Please continue to do so. This is the place to express your fears and frustrations.

I also feel that I would not be missed by anyone. I can say it's not true but a part of me believes I have no worth, nothing to offer. It's horrible. So come back and chat with us. It can be helpful if only to find you are not the only one who feels as you do.

Mary