Feeling stuck

[idontknowdontask]

To be honest I don’t know why I’m writing here. I’ve been depressed for awhile now and it was a break up that caused it. I actually missed my flight this morning because I was stupid and wasn’t organised enough but that’s my fault. I spontaneously booked flights overseas and didn’t care enough to be prepared like I normally would be. I am angry at myself but it doesn’t feel as it normally would be if I felt like myself. I haven’t felt like myself for a long time. My friends don’t care enough to help me. I’ve reached out so many times and even told them how I felt and what I want from them but nothing. I see a psychologist but I don’t even know if that’s helping me. I see her quite regularly and I don’t know if I do it because it feels like she’s the only person I can openly talk to without her pulling away or if because I need some kind of constant in my life to stick to. That’s what I feel like my friends have done. They all pulled away from me the more I tried to reach out to them. It’s so lonely. I feel like my mental state hasn’t changed at all even though I’m doing things to try and help. I exercise most nights of the week. I’ll admit I don’t eat or sleep as much as I need to but I feel like that’s the least of my worries. I’ve done the whole try a new hobby like reading or journaling, going on nature walks. I feel like there’s nothing that would help me and I don’t know how to help others to help me. 

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear idontknowdontask,

A very warm and caring welcome to our forums,

I am sorry that you’ve been depressed for a while and you missed your flight….Are you able to get another flight?…Please don’t be too hard on yourself about missing your flight, your definitely not stupid, no one is…preoccupied maybe, depression does that to us…our brain gets into a thought pattern and it’s so hard to get out of and do things we know we need to get done..

It’s sad, that sometimes our friends don’t or can’t help us when we reach out for support, I think the main reason for this is that they just don’t know how to help….I find that people, friends and even family that haven’t gone through depression doesn’t know how to help, maybe due to fear of saying the wrong thing and then upsetting you even more then you are when in depression…Its good your seeing a psychologist and are able to open up to them….

You have definitely come to the right place for support, a lot of the community members here understand depression, anxiety and most other mental health illnesses…are beautiful caring people who want to support and help you…so please talk here whenever you feel up to it..

My kindest thoughts and care Dear idontknowdontask.

Grandy..

[yggdrasil]

Hi idontknowdontask,

Thanks so much for posting on here. I'm sorry you're in such a difficult place. I have found friends and family aren't necessarily the best people to talk mental health with. Instead, have you ever thought of joining a peer-support group? I attended one of these for years and they can be a great place to get advice, and feel seen and heard by others who "get it".

The other thing that helped me when I felt I'd tried everything else was spirituality. This also helped me overcome that deep seated "lonely" feeling. 

I hope that helps a bit! Please keep reaching out for support on forums like this, you will find many willing ears. All the best,

yggdrasil