Feeling good... Then not.

[Lookingforpeace]

I came across a quote about anxiety/depression the other day that said something along the lines of: when we (the "depressed") have a good day, our initial thought is not to enjoy it but to worry about how long it will last.

sad but true.

I have had a few good days recently, which I know is a huge positive as I have barely had any good days this year, only to wake up the next day feeling crappy again. 

It amazes me how my moods can change so drastically from one day to the next. Why is that? 

On a good day, I almost forget what it's like to be depressed. This illness really is deceptive isn't it - it makes you think you're better and can't imagine how it felt before and then BAM, you remember again.

This emptiness, lack of motivation, frustration... Just to go to bed and hope tomorrow is one of the good days.

sorry for the rambling, just had to get my thoughts out there.

[Chicken_Wings]

Isn't it the pits going to bed good and waking up not?!

Sometimes I end up staying up much later than I should simply because I've been having a good day and I don't want it to be over. I find that my moods are almost directly related to a specific trigger. If I wake up depressed, I tend to know why, even if I don't want to admit it to myself.

I guess the thing I always try to remember is that everyone has good and bad days, people without depression included. Nobody is going to have a perfect life filled with butterflies and rainbows. 
It also took me a long time to really come to terms with the fact that I will probably never be "cured". But I've had some great times in my life and been without depressive symptoms for years at a time and it's magical. I also think I appreciate those times so much more because I know what the flip side can be like.

I find that the key for me is to take full hold of the good days. The more you take them with both hands, the more they seem to appear.

[Lookingforpeace]

Wow, Chicken Wings:

"Sometimes I end up staying up much later than I should simply because I've been having a good day and I don't want it to be over."

This brought a tear to my eye. I can definitely relate to that!

Great advice about taking hold of the good days.

thank you, your post is exactly what I needed to hear today 

[Chicken_Wings]

Sometimes all you need is to know that someone gets how you feel, it can be such a relief just knowing you aren't alone.

I think the hardest times for me are when I feel sad but determined.
Like I'm in the grip of depression, but I have enough energy to fight. When I tell my boyfriend how hard I'm trying and that I can beat this, whilst fighting back tears. It can be so disheartening.
But you can't stop, you can't give up. Because you know what better feels like and you want it back.

[Lookingforpeace]

Exactly. I find it hard when it's still the start of the day, as I feel that I have the whole day ahead of me (not in a good way).

But at night, when sleep is just around the corner and I don't have to feel my depression during sleep, I feel so much better.

[Chicken_Wings]

I've been forcing myself out of bed in the morning, going into the lounge (just for the change of scenery) and doing some relaxation exercises. It gets me out the door in the morning.
Otherwise I just lay in bed wishing I didn't have to get up. Might be worth giving a try?

[Lookingforpeace]

Thanks CW, I will give that a go - starting this morning!

[Chicken_Wings]

If you're looking for something to guide you I can recommend the Headspace App

[Lookingforpeace]

Will do!

PS I am feeling positive today so taking your advice and seizing it! 🙂