Hi Madie/Madz
I'm wondering whether your GP or anyone's explored possible physical reasons for the sense of depression and emptiness. As a 53yo gal, I've experienced a variety of different reasons for finding myself in a depression, with some being mentally related, some being soul destroying and some being purely physical. Has your GP done any blood tests lately, looking for some possible culprits (iron, b12, thyroid etc)? While we could be depressed for a number of mental or soulful kinds of reasons, a new physical reason can add to it all, leading the depression to feel so much worse. Kinda like, if you imagine a depression as a well or depression in the ground, we could be half way down when a seriously depressing thyroid issue develops, suddenly fast tracking us into the absolute depths. I find a depression can sometimes be multifaceted, with a whole stack of depressing things all going on at once.
I think one of the many challenges that comes with a depression involves getting a better sense of exactly what is depressing me. While I've managed to gain a better sense over the years when it comes to what feels like depressing inner dialogue or what feels like a depressing belief system or what feels like a soul destroying lack of adventure or depressing relationship with someone around me, there's one thing I just can't gain a good sense of and that's a new chemical deficiency or imbalance. I need a doctor and blood tests or some others tests for that kind of stuff. A sleep study can be a good test for a depressing disorder like sleep apnea, for example.
We're definitely complex creatures, that's for sure. We can be doing all the right things that people say we should do to not be depressed but if there's an underlying issue that's never addressed, it doesn't matter what we do. As long as that underlying issue is there we'll feel it and its side effects because we're sensitive enough to be able to feel it.
