Hi everyone,
I'm 24 years old and I was just wondering if anyone had ever felt the same way as me...
Every since I was little, I was always an introverted person even up to high school. I did have a lot of people who wanted to be my friend, but it was weird because I was always quite content on my own.
In highschool I did have quite a few friends, but they weren't very nice people at all, and I did cut a lot of them off later on. It was only until year 11-12 that I started talking a lot more, connecting more with people, going to parties etc..
It wasn't until after school that I started making a lot more friends, and it had felt like I had become almost facebook famous at one stage, but when I was 19 was when I started to get really bad depression, and started to fall in and out of it.
I ended up making two really good friends who ended up betraying me later, and I know most people would say your still young etc, but because I have been either been used a lot and taken advantage a lot, been friends with narcasstic people who either put me down, it almost feels like I'm not bothered anymore.
I deleted my Facebook about 3 years ago, because I felt like no one would bothered with me, comparing myself to other people, negative energy etc..
A few people have often told me that I'm either too nice, which I knew that for a while, so cutting people off who I knew weren't treating me good almost became easy, and I had always felt like my kindness had been taken for granted or abused.
Even before then, I started feeling more isolated then ever, almost always falling back into loneliness or isolation. I have two aquaintences/friends who I am grateful for, who I talk to from time to time, but I just feel withdrawn and I don't connect with them.
And I almost feel like it's my fault or guilty, because I never really bothered that much in my younger years. I know I'm still young but I almost feel like I can't make effort anymore, like my emotions are almost numb because I have been in pain for a lot of my life.
It's just whenever I seem to extrovert myself, it seems to backfire later on. I'm trying to love myself for who I am, even I have gotten involved with men who have either ended up saying the right things/ghosting me, so I naturally have a lot of trust issues.
I Was just wondering is it okay to not have any friends at this age, and still try to live your life to the fullest? Was wondering if anyone else felt the same way at all? I feel always alone within myself.
