my family has struggled financially my entire life
when i was 10 my grandfather passed and that was the first time i was told i was depressed
i was teased all throughout school for being over weight so never had any self confidence
at 18 i met a guy and got engaged/married, after 9 months of marriage and almost 5 years together he left me via text message, this was the second time i was diagnosed as being depressed
during this time i had suicidal thoughts and even sat there one night with the means to do but was scared of death, even though i desperately wanted to die
got counselling then things got better
recently have been feeling depressed, withdrawn and cry over stupid things
i feel as though people judge me and i cant trust people
suicidal thoughts occasionally return but im still scared to follow it through
i feel as though my own family dont appreciate me and feel as though everything is always my fault
i feel as though im a doormat for my friends, family and work mates
i have constant feelings of self loathing and strongly believe that i should not of been born
recently i took a chance and went away with a family member and her friends, during the trip one person made a comment that "you cant love a fat person"
i have constant feelings of not being good enough for anything or anyone, i feel as though i will never be successful in my career or have a family of my own
nothing ever goes right for me, its just always one bad day after the next, i struggle to get out of bed and go to work in the morning
i cant talk to my family or friends they tell me im being a drama queen or an attention seeker
