Depression

Depression affects people in Australia every day. Share your own story and learn about other member’s experiences with depression.

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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

All discussions

m-gal Feels like the end.
  • replies: 8

I don't want to be here. I dont want to exist and I don't see it getting better. My friends don't understand and I'm so mad at everything all the time that I can't stand to be around anything or anyone. The effort of just lifting my head from my feet... View more

I don't want to be here. I dont want to exist and I don't see it getting better. My friends don't understand and I'm so mad at everything all the time that I can't stand to be around anything or anyone. The effort of just lifting my head from my feet feels like enough to kill me. The only reason I havent given up is because I can't even imagine what that would do to my family. My best friend the only person I ever thought I could live for feels a million miles away. See he used to understand, but now he has a girlfriend and now it just feels like he doesnt want anything but to run from me and enjoy his happiness. I self harm. How well I hide it makes me sick. Im so tired and I hate my family purely because I feel like it is their fault I have to live. When really, I just dont want to.

nghia91 Entirely lost.
  • replies: 7

Hi, I'm a 21 year old male. I dropped out of school half way through year 12 from the most prestigious school in the state. I've never finished anything in my life. Things have gone badly, I don't know where i stand anymore. When I sit down, I relive... View more

Hi, I'm a 21 year old male. I dropped out of school half way through year 12 from the most prestigious school in the state. I've never finished anything in my life. Things have gone badly, I don't know where i stand anymore. When I sit down, I relive all the moments that brought me where I am today, as a failure and incompetent fool. I've recently broken up with my girlfriend who I loved more than anything I've ever known. She was too good to me, I didn't deserve her so I left her. I impregnated my ex, 2 years ago. We got an abortion. She never thought anything of it. To this very minute I can't stop thinking of how selfish I had been and the potential life that I took. My parents smile at me, but I know my father loathes me. I'm not suicidal or anything. I have trouble keeping friends. I keep telling myself, that I just need to deal with it, and that's the bottom line, but there must be something I'm missing, because I'm stuck in one spot as the rest of the world flies by me. I don't need any pity or sympathy. I just need somebody to be harshly honest with me because right now I feel like a coward.

shiloh2768 Will the battle ever end?
  • replies: 3

Hi, Im new to this site and am kicking myself I never found it earlier. My story is that I've been living with depression for over 20 years now and have been on medication for 13 years straight. I was one of those that was diagnosed at a hospital and... View more

Hi, Im new to this site and am kicking myself I never found it earlier. My story is that I've been living with depression for over 20 years now and have been on medication for 13 years straight. I was one of those that was diagnosed at a hospital and then forgotten about. No one ever advised me about therapy or that meds were only a temporary measure. Unfortunately, the meds have such strong side effects that stopping them is just about out of the question. Im currently on Day 4 of my "crash". The insomnia has hit, the lethargy has hit, the sensitivity has hit, the lack of interest has hit and so has the confusion. I haven't eaten properly. My partner has given up on me. He thinks Im using depression as an excuse and that deep down Im just a lazy person with no motivation who doesn't want to be in the same bed as him. WTF!? I guess Im lucky in that I can recognise the signs of when a depression attack is coming, but it is still damn hard to deal with. I've also noticed that suicidal thoughts are becoming more prominent which is scary. Unfortunately, my family live interstate and I have no friends where I currently live, so my partner has to deal with me and he is not coping well. Lately, he has been telling me that Im lazy and stupid and that I have no valid reason to cry. Which in turn brings on the feelings of guilt and worthlessness which leads to shutting down which leads to.....you get the picture. My GP is useless and the one doctor I did find that wanted to help me couldn't. I don't qualify for the governments mental health plan at the moment. So, no counselling for me. The only thing that keeps me going is my daughter and granddaughter who also live interstate. If I didn't have them, I would probably have ended it ages ago. Thanks for letting me speak.

Catatonic When the future looks so black
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How do you continue... When the future looks so black? When your mind is only telling you one way out? But that would leave a trail of devastation behind you... Its so hard to keep going, but the alternative knowing that you would hurt the ones you l... View more

How do you continue... When the future looks so black? When your mind is only telling you one way out? But that would leave a trail of devastation behind you... Its so hard to keep going, but the alternative knowing that you would hurt the ones you love - isn't an option your willing to do... These thoughts consume my head a lot...

blackcorvus Battling Depression
  • replies: 17

I grew up in a violent and abusive family. My eldest brother burned my leg with a cigarette and sexually abused me. My other brother bashed me around if I looked at him the wrong way. Mum needed little excuse to thrash me with a belt or shove cake of... View more

I grew up in a violent and abusive family. My eldest brother burned my leg with a cigarette and sexually abused me. My other brother bashed me around if I looked at him the wrong way. Mum needed little excuse to thrash me with a belt or shove cake of soap into my mouth for what sh considered swearing. I was the youngest, the whipping boy. By my late 20's I realized there was something wrong with me. I'd sit in my little room and just cry my eyes out. I'd got out of work and going out to put in my dole form was a major effort. In the bus the feeling of panic would get worse and build. I broke down crying talking to a social worker at Social Security. I ended up spending 3 months in hospital. I got to the stage where I thought I was a worthwhile person and could give to others. Now at 59 I don't know what the years of battling have been for. Just back at feeling that I don't fit in anywhere or with anyone. Too many disappointments.

Budge Hopeless
  • replies: 4

i couldn't face another day I was fed up of being fed up and knew I desperately needed help. Sitting before the doctor I poured out out my soul. Sympathetically he nodded and smiled then printed off a list of questions. Once done each question was sc... View more

i couldn't face another day I was fed up of being fed up and knew I desperately needed help. Sitting before the doctor I poured out out my soul. Sympathetically he nodded and smiled then printed off a list of questions. Once done each question was scored, adding up the total he remarked that I had a high score, "Im going to refer you for counselling, prescribe some anti-depressants and send you off to see a psychiatrist". Again I poured out my soul to the counsellor. I struggled to understand how raking up the past helped, going over and over things for me just didn't make things better. It culminated in long uncomfortable silences. I didn't bother going again. The anti depressants nearly pushed me over the edge. One of the biggest under statements I've ever heard came from my GP as he explained how the medication worked "it would get worse before its get better". Then with increasing doses I made the mistake, once feeling relatively well of thinking I no longer needed them. The mess I spiralled down into is hard to explain and was only elevated by going back on the medication, which in itself left me wondering if to stay sane I now had to take tablets for the rest of my life. Sitting in the waiting room of the mental health clinic I looked around at those waiting with me. They all looked troubled in one way or another. I wondered what they thought of me. The psychiatrist, who i thought looked more mental than I did, printed off yet another question and answer sheet and noted my response. I remember him asking if there was any history of mental illness in my family... I didn't think so. But later my Dad mentioned that my Grandfather had had a mental breakdown, which had taken him 2 years to recover from. I began to wonder if it was hereditary and if my son would have to suffer this nightmare also. Finally I was asked if id had any suicidal thoughts. I answered honestly, that I had. It was all I could think of, it never left me. I saw death as a natural relief and the only way out of what I was going through. Moving on to the next question he bluntly ask me why I hadn't killed myself. This stumped me, made me feel that I'd had this thing on my to do list and I really should just stop complaining and get on with it........ I didn't go home, but instead went to a friends place. On the way I began to cry, uncontrollably it lasted for almost a week and then i slept for what felt like twice as long. And when I came round I found it was the menial things that helped, ironing and washing dirty pots. I struggled to motivate myself to go out I couldn't face anyone. When things got really tough when i could get into gear I found going to the beach cleared my mind and then returning home some 4 months later i began to draw on the love and patience of my family. But things aren't right. Im sick of what fells like everyone asking if Im ok or saying that they love me. I still just want to be left alone. I accept that I'm better than i was but this now is me and now how it will be, hopeless. I think about ending my life.

help long term depression
  • replies: 2

Hi I have suffered depression for more than 10 years, triggered by a woman who does not want to let go of what she thinks is a relationship. Each time I try to finish it, there are threats of ruining my life and that of who I meet. She is married and... View more

Hi I have suffered depression for more than 10 years, triggered by a woman who does not want to let go of what she thinks is a relationship. Each time I try to finish it, there are threats of ruining my life and that of who I meet. She is married and nothing I say can convince her to stop. She has driven me to the lowest of lows from which it will be hard to recover. If by cutting my leg off it stopped the mental torture, I would do it. She has seen my decline and still wont stop. Thank you for any advice you can help me with.

PaulP Hi, need some advice regarding Depression and Aspergers
  • replies: 3

Hi, I have been suffering with depression for over 5 years now and have recently been diagnosed with Asperger's. I am Married and have 3 kids who I love and they love me. Depression for me was pretty bad (like most of us) and took me a while to see a... View more

Hi, I have been suffering with depression for over 5 years now and have recently been diagnosed with Asperger's. I am Married and have 3 kids who I love and they love me. Depression for me was pretty bad (like most of us) and took me a while to see a doctor about having depression (I am a male!). The doctor put me on an antidepressant 20mg (one per day) and I recently started to come off them. I am currently on 5mg every other day. The problem that I found is that the medication made me like a dump robot, simply walking around, not really thinking a lot. Before the medication I did think of taking my own life but I am at least thankful that I no longer have these thoughts. This drove my wife crazy because she could not get a conversation out of me. So we both decided that I should taper off the medication over 6 months and I am on my final leg. Because I think completely differently to most people and don't "see" things as other people do also caused my wife a lot of stress, mainly because I put everything down to the medication. 6 months ago I was diagnosed with Aspergers. I know it's very late in my life (I am 40) but at least it provides some explains the way I think and act. I have also see a councillor (my wife also attended these sessions as well) to help be get to the root cause of my depression. At the end there was no one single answer that could explain this. I think this was due to a stressful job at the time. Coming off the medication has made me feel more me again, which is great but (there is always a but!) it has changed me. The new problem that I am currently facing is that my wife still says that I am snappy and moody with her all the time, even though I am finding this hard to see (not saying she is wrong, just cannot see it) which has been going on for several months now. For me, I just see me self, I not unhappy but I would say more confused than anything. When I talk to my wife I don't see my self being snappy or more, though I do see this now and then but not everyday. What this is doing to me is making it hard for me to talk to my wife, not because I don't want to but I have to think 3 or 4 times what I am going to say before I say it. I also try and think what pitch my voice should be so it does not come across snappy/moody. It seems no matter what I say or how I say it, my wife always takes this as me been snappy / moody with her, which is not. Any advice would be great. Thank you. Paul.

F0revryoung depression
  • replies: 3

to be honest, I'm not to sure on what I'm meant to say, am I even worth reading? my life's not as bad as most people, in fact I've probably had a pretty good life compared to some. I'm the youngest of two, and I must admit I get more attention and go... View more

to be honest, I'm not to sure on what I'm meant to say, am I even worth reading? my life's not as bad as most people, in fact I've probably had a pretty good life compared to some. I'm the youngest of two, and I must admit I get more attention and got more things, but emotionally I feel like I get nothing I feel as though I'm a burden to my own parent's, if they don't want me then who does my own sister doesn't even speak to me anymore, and when I've tried to speak to her about what's going on, she judges me and says I'm being silly. all I really want is some support, understanding and for them to be here for me. I feel like I'm battling this on my own, and although it is my own battle, it would be nice to have my family beside me, to help me get through this time. I've had depression since may 2011, but its not constant, it comes and goes, everything just builds up until I can't take it anymore, and lately its been getting worse. I'm not sure how much more I can take. it's getting too hard. it's probably silly, and I probably sound like I'm asking for attention. but I'm not. I just want to be told I'm cared about and loved. the only thing I hear is "go see a doctor they'll make you better" or "I don't even know why you have depression, its like an excuse" my family thinks I put on an act, they don't understand, but then again, who does? we're living in this world, with so many questions, and not enough answers. its hard, I know ill most likely get through this. but there's only so much a person can take. its just getting too hard. thanks.

Catatonic I don't understand...
  • replies: 9

I don't understand this feeling... My life: I have a good job, beautiful children, a house, car, money etc. I should be happy... I should be smiling and loving life... I am now out of a DV relationship. But I am not, I struggle to get out of bed, I d... View more

I don't understand this feeling... My life: I have a good job, beautiful children, a house, car, money etc. I should be happy... I should be smiling and loving life... I am now out of a DV relationship. But I am not, I struggle to get out of bed, I don't feel happy. I feel worthless and pathetic, I have constant thoughts about how everyone would be better off without me here, I'm too gutless to do anything tho. My kids deserve better not this shell of a person I have become I am on Antidepressants and I am in counselling. But I don't feel any better. I can't see a way out of this black hole