Does life ever get pleasurable again?

[Throwaway111111]

Thanks to anybody who responds.

I’m struggling with what I believe is to be depression. I’ve been on several antidepressants for nearly a year along with mood stabilisers for what they think is Bipolar. The last month since I’ve got out of jail I’ve become severely depressed and anhedonic to the point that sleeping is more pleasurable than anything I can get up to do. I sleep over 16 hours a day and I’m still exhausted. I can’t motivate myself to do anything as nothing is enjoyable. I understand anhedonia is tough to treat.

the last time I ever felt pleasure from anything was when I was manic. Learning multiple languages, taking lots of classes, being on top of the world, but ever since I’ve ‘crashed’ I don’t see a point in any of this. Especially since I’ve stopped believing in the afterlife, life has become meaningless. We’re tiny specks in the grand scheme of things and everything we could do is meaningless. We’re all gonna die and be forgotten about in the next hundred years. How do I beat that line of reasoning and get motivated to make the best out of my remaining existence? How do I find meaning in life that is motivating? I’ve tried logotherapy and it didn’t work. I’ve tried CBT, psychotherapy, medication, mindfulness and just about everything and I’m losing hope.

It all sounds stupid to me because I have nothing to be really depressed about. I live in a mansion. I have food to eat. I never had a family member die. I’ve been spoiled my whole life. But if it wasn’t for my family, I would have suicide a long time ago.

[Sophie_M]

Hi Throwaway111111,

Welcome to our online community, we're so glad you decided to join us here. It can be hard to write so openly about what you're experiencing, so thank you for having the courage. It sounds like things have been very difficult. We've sent you an email just to check in.

Are you aware of Beyond Blue's support service? We really encourage you to get in touch to have a chat 24/7 on 1300 22 4636 or to contact our friends at the Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467 (also 24/7)

You've mentioned you're losing hope and have had thoughts of suicide, those thoughts are really normal when you're struggling. We' really happy to hear you have good family support around you. But if you feel you may act on those thoughts and do something to harm yourself, it is really important to take steps to keep yourself safe, you can do this by:

- Attending the Emergency Department of your local hospital
- Calling 000
- Speaking with us

Let us know how you're going

BeyondBlue

[Doolhof]

Hi Throwaway,

Welcome to the community here on the forum. Many people here will understand your thoughts and feelings around your suicidal thoughts and questioning the meaning of life, what is the poioint, where is yor sense of purpose and worth.

This is all very familiar to me and I sometimes struggle to accept what I am feeling and then find ways to move on.

One psychologist suggested a strategy called B.A.C.E. standing for Body Achievement Connection and Enjoyment. The idea is to write up a daily schedule including activities from each of these categories.

I Googled for more information. When I was able to actually put this into practise it did help a little.

Is there one thing you could do today that may spark a glimmer of interest within you?

I'm assuming while in jail, you would have had a routine to adhere to. Would it help if you set up a routine for yourself at home and see if that assists you in some way?

These are just some suggestions. Hope you find some motivation and determination! They can be illusive I find!

Regards to you from Dools

[Here2Talk]

Hi Throwaway,

I can hear the pain and anguish in your story. Sorry to hear you’re suffering.

Are you on the mood stabilisers now and have you had episodes of mania recently?

What significant others do you have in your life?