Hi op and thx for getting back . Well l spose it's a bit early to say if a thread helps but l hope others drop in and talk too. Me l've found sometimes it does help but others l feel weird like l've said too much publicly or it's just going in circles or God knows.
But hey , 30s, look there's lots and lots of goods n that and especially in that your already seeing your patterns and not liking what you see so your aware of it all and believe me, many aren't, or they don't care. But you are and you do and there's lots of time to work on things and change the patterns.
l believe it's never too late but it's def not too late at your age, that's a huge thing.
lt might sound a bit simplistic but eh, imo simplistic good thing is though, your realizing these things and so you can start working on bits and pieces.
Try not to overload , over try or over think it or over push yourself or expect Rome built in a day takes yrs for us to sort ourselves out sometimes in some ways. Sometimes it's like we'll be working on our bad habits or some ways forever but you can def' turn bits around.
Your seeing things you've done or still doing , your even aware of why you do some of them , that's a huge start. So if you want to change you can pick out little bits and start working on those, turn them around into what you want to be bit by bit.
Same with the bigger things myself l've always had a bit of a circle of stuff, still working on some of it now or reining myself back when l see myself slipping into old habits again. But there is really big stuff too though that l did manage to turn around yrs ago even back at your age sorta thing and most of the wins are just who l am these days.
l found l had to start drawing a line in the sand with myself and some things saying no, that's just not who l want to be , it's not being true to myself , l've gotta bloody stop that bs. l want to be true to myself, and in what l believe.
Anxiety and all sorts of things as you'd know all come into it to don't they buttttt, you can get on top of most of it by chipping away or putting your foot down and just saying NO, at other times.
Weird, l use to have ths thing that people just wouldn't like me l think deep down caused a lot or weird crap in me but strangely over time as l started putting my foot down with myself in things like that too, l found they actually did like the real me and just being myself was mostly good enough, for example- which come as a real shock to me ha ha.
Ofc not everyone but the ones that matter.
Anyway, hope some of that makes some kinda sense or helps a little. But you;'ve gone through a huge circle with yourself and now you've arrived back at where you can see it and so you can start pointing yourself back on track.
Hang in.
rx
