Depression? Mental Illness? What is going on?

[Confused_70]

Hi All,

New here. I am not even sure if this should go in this section or relationships. I had been seeing this man for about 18 months now. He has always been very reserved and quiet. He never really laughed or expressed any emtions really. I found it very hard to get close to him or really get to know him at all. A few months in i noticed he was even more withdrawn then usual. He said that he just gets like that sometimes and he doesn't know why. He doesnt want to see anyone and doesn't even want to speak to his family and just wants to be on his own.

When i met him i thought we would relate because I am fairly quiet too. However I do open up to
people I care about after a time. When i would try to have a conversation with him he would sometimes even come across as annoyed. It was like pulling teeth really. I can say in 18 months i really didnt get to know him at all. Almost like he was completely shut down and void of emotions. And couldnt have a conversation - I dont know if if it is because he just cant be bothered or he doesnt see how strange that was, or if other things are going on.

A few weeks ago he broke up with me. I hadn't seen him for a few weeks in person. But we had been messaging as usual and seemed fine. Then a few weeks ago he just said he can't really be bothered with the relationship anymore and was sorry, didnt want to hurt me, etc etc.

I really don't understand him at all. Someone who really has no close friends at all. Doesnt speak to his family really. We went to his relative house a few times and his sister would try and talk to him, just general chit chat, and he would just reply with one word answers and he would just look bored. He never made any effort to get to know my family. Would only say hello.

Has anyone met anyone like this before? Is it extreme depression? Mental Illness? I have no idea. It's all very strange.

[blondguy]

Hi C70

Thanks for posting back 🙂

Lonilness can be heart wrenching after what you have been through.

Its difficult to work out what happened and it would take a great deal of mental energy trying to do so.

I just read your first post again. He is very withdrawn and thats okay but unfortunately that can make for a very difficult partner to be with as you would never really have any idea whats happening in your relationship

I hope you have a couple (or even one) of friends that you can vent to about what you are going through.

Having a support network is a huge bonus right now so you dont keep 'overthinking' the what if's and why's

Either way we are here for you C70

my best

Paul