Depression is tough some days

gippsland_lad

Hello,

I’m a first time posting here. Im

not a 100% sure posting will help me out but it’s worth a shot. I used to be good opening up to people about issues or troubles I have but I have had recently experiences in the past couple years where I felt people around me didn’t really care or know how to make me feel better so I bury problems. My life at the moment is feeling lonely in my early 30s, unsure of what I want to do in life and feeling like a ghost as no one ever checks in on me. I want to have a good career, make friends for family and to be stable but I feel today’s economy and social network makes it difficult to achieve that. Today was a better episode of depression as a situation in the work place made me lose no mattered how I handled it. So I did something that is a new low for me after work… I brought a vape and sat in my car and vaped to make me feel better. I haven’t never been a smoker or anything like that in the past. Some days life hits harder and I do know how to cope in a healthy way

gippsland_lad

I am the original writer and I meant to say at the end “I don’t know how to cope in a health way”

Daydreamer70

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out here on the forums, you've absolutely come to the right place with what you are experiencing. I think a lot of people can relate to the way you are feeling at the moment. I too have had experiences where opening up about my struggles has made me feel worse, more lonely and more misunderstood. I've learnt that while this is unfortunate and it hurts, what hurts more longterm is continuing to hold onto things alone and avoiding opening up again. Keep reaching out (like you have here), people DO care and they will listen.

Feeling uneasy in terms of the economy and social networks is a very understandable response to todays climate. I think we are all feeling this to some degree. As cliche as this strategy is going to sound, but i find it has helped me tremendously, is journalling. Specifically journalling following prompts/exercises aimed at reframing my thinking in a way that helps me focus on the things I can control. I usually start by identifying what is is im actually feeling anxious or sad about (pretty much just a scribbled rant) and then I try and shift my perspective to focus on what I can control. Sometimes, there is nothing I can do directly to change the situation, and that thought in itself is freeing. Try googling some journalling prompts and see if they help at all. Its a good little coping strategy and the act of writing with a physical pen to paper i find is soothing too. Exercises and being outdoors are other coping strategies I find help. Taking myself out of my everyday environment too and driving to new locations does wonders.

With the vaping at work, I think you need to be kinder to yourself. Sometimes when we feel these strong emotions (or numbness) we turn to vices we wouldn't normally think to reach for. Its nothing to be ashamed of, its just a way of seeking solace in hard moments. You have the awareness and that in itself is huge.

I hope this helps. I'm sorry to hear you are experiencing this. Please know you are never ever alone and there is so much support for you here.

Kind regards,

Daydreamer.