Depression: dog vs black dog

[Sea-n-sky]

Some guy elsewhere in this forum, asked the question "How would we describe depression if it were a physical creature.

What a sensible question to ask.

The guy who asked, must be an intelligent guy, a guy with a future of success.

I can answer that question, but would first like to remind everyone that many famous

and successfull persons have experienced depression. (Burton and Taylor come to mind)

Indeed it seems likely that depression is a precursor to success, even to victory, in most dramatical terms.

The late Winston Churchill himself said he had been afflicted by deep depression for much of his life.

He called it Blackdog.

Therefore I will call it that too, when considering it as the "physical creature". Most human beings can relate to the dog, and will recognise the animal as being of varying temperament according to breed. The wolf is a dog, as is the dingo. Likewise the poodle, the pekinese and the labrador.

On the one hand, we have the wild feral destructive canine, whilst on the other we have the loveable domesticated pet.

Clearly therefore, depression can be represented by the dog.(Blackdog).

It is, all dogs, merged into one.

The loveable domesticated pet today, and a destructive feral  tomorrow.

If you own a dog, you train it. If you do not do that it will not become the loveable domestic pet you may desire. It may become something different entirely. It will likely become a menace, in fact.

The first step in training the animal is to treat it in precisely the same way as you would like it to treat you.

That way, the dog will become your friend - and yes, blackdog can be that too.

In training your dog, you feed it morsels of reward, treats or titbits if you like, when it behaves/responds as you would like it to.

Blackdog is no different.

Returning to Winston Churchill, Did he win World War II ? No of course not, but he was a leader and inspirer amongst allies, perhaps guided by Blackdog, the friend.

Blackdog, is no longer my demon.

I might be again one day, and if it is, I'll just remove the cause, if I can.

My pain is now greatly reduced, because of that. I even jog a bit now, (when walking).

I have to, in order, to keep up with a friendly blackdog, which is running ahead of me. (metaphorically speaking) 

If it can be true in my case, Why not yours ?

Cheers,

Sea-n-sky.

 

[CMF]

Hi sea n sky,

Yes it was good again today.  its always a nice place but the staff working make a difference if you know what I mean. if particular ones are/are not there its a different atmosphere.

the inconsistency is annoying. its like when I allow myself to be happy something will happen to change it and I realise I should not let myself be too happy because it wont last.

it happens like this every time.

[Neil_1]

To Sea ‘n Sky

You wrote:

“Besides, if you didn't have an occasional down day, you wouldn't know what a good day was like and life would become just boring.”

I think I’ve heard that before, but I must have forgotten it.  That is a true pearl.   Thank you for that.

Neil

[Jo3]

I'm having a bad afternoon. Black dog is here again. Damn.  The feelings I have at the moment I can't explain. 

It's frustrating, every time I try to go one step forward something else is around the corner to bite; to get me; to hound me.  Why? I don't want this anymore; i don't want this in my life anymore.

I need to get back up again, but right now I can't. it's all too hard; how much more fighting do i have to do to get better?

jo

[CMF]

Am I being stupid?  He was going to prepare some food for our daughter. It needs to cook for a few hours so he said he would do it at home (his parents)and bring it over.  He just told me it will be ready tonight and he'll bring it. He's at work so I'm guessing he's getting his mum to prepare it. 

This gives me so much anxiety. I want nothing from her, even if it's for our daughters benefit. I feel sick again because I can't show her gratitude after all she's has said to and about me. 

I told him we went for a walk he said good that I'm getting out and that I'm feeling better. This makes me sick also. I don't wNt him to know I feel better. I don't wNt to give him that satisfaction. My happiness is my business. I want him to always know that HE made me miserable. 

Am I being stupid?

[Neil_1]

Dear CMF

No, you’re not being stupid.  I believe you’re just very confused about this whole situation and every interaction this guy has with you appears to be dragging you back deeper into the mire.

I’ve posted a new message to you on your ‘other thread’ – I hope it wasn’t too over the top, but I believe that something really has to happen and SOON for you in this situation, otherwise things are going to continue to spiral down and be almost out of control.

Neil

[Sea-n-sky]

Hi again CMF,

Its good to see you continuing to post, and remain engaged with the BB community.

I note your last 3 posts have all been posting No.113, so it would seem there is something wrong with the Posting counter.

In your most recent post (in this thread) you ask the question "Are you being stupid ?"

No I don't think you are, but you yourself are the best person to answer that question.

I do however feel you are being unfair on yourself.

 Unfortunately, you can't change the past , but you should not let it dictate your future, which appears to be happening in your case.

Accept it, don't dwell on it, and then move forward.

Your favourite coffee shop still seems a good place to be a part of that process, considering what you said about it in previous postings. The walking is good for you also, along with everything else you like doing - just do those things as much as you possibly can.

Please  note I could not find the other thread you mentioned about 3 postings ago in this thread, but it must refer to the past, and it is the future, we and you should be most concerned about.

Hope this helps you.

If it doesn't, then I'll be sorry and disappointed.

Kindest Rgds,

Sea-n-sky

[CMF]

Well the little black dog followed me to the coffee shop today.  I tried to make it sit outside but it wouldn't.  it sat right there with me.  the staff must have known it too because they laughed and joked with everyone else and said nothing to me, like I wasn't even there. I have a laugh all most everytime I am there, today... nothing.i even became teary.  I thought I may be able to shake the dog but I couldn't it came everywhere.  the walk was tiring, I was short tempered with  my little girl who was crying (maybe she sensed the dog too) and I just wanted to get home.

 his mum did prepare the food he forgot to bring it yesterday, he's coming today.  I don't want it.  I don't believe she has any good feeling towards me so I don't want her food in my house. I don't need her, he was meant to prepare it not her.

[Sea-n-sky]

Hi again Jo3

So the blackdog has returned again !!!!

Well that's not the best outcome, but don't despair.

The reason it has returned is due to that anxiety I mentioned before. The dog has sensed fear, and being desirous of domination over you, it has returned. That's its natural instinct. ( if you like) It doesn't necessarily mean it's a bad dog, its just doing what comes naturally to it. That means it just needs to be disciplined a bit, and in a kindly understanding manner.  In being frightened of it's return, you have in fact subconsciously "whistled it up" so to speak, so you shouldn't be surprised it's returned.

Now however, you have a tool to deal with it ( refer to my previous posts)  - so try it and see if it works. I reckon it should do, because it did with me, but you do have to believe in it. It will not work if you don't.

You have a head start now, so give it your best shot. Don't expect a miracle over night  though, just a recognizable slow but gradual improvement, each time getting better and better, and the velocity of those improvements gradually accelerating, as you move forward.

More up days, less down days, ever improving, as you go along.

Success breeding success - as it does in the real world.

Now it  (blackdog) is back, you have the opportunity to put it to the test for yourself.

Good Luck !!!!!! 

Kindest Regards,

Sea-n-sky.

[Gopal]

HI CMF, 

read you post, same things happens to all of us friend. The same thing happend to me yesterday. I woke up in the morning, and told myself that it is my day and I am going to live it. At the begining of this week I decided to thought the matter out as why I am in this situation in which I am right now. I decided to think the matter by introspecting. However, I couldnt even think the matter for a single day. Leave it. Yesterday as I said that I told myself that it is my day. I woke up, got freshed up. and started listening to my fav music. Then I started getting ready for work. I came to work and my boss called me up in his chamber. He complained about my performance and some mistakes which I have committed in a harsh tone, That moment I could feel the blackdog enterred into my vain. I started feeling depressed and even cried a little in the restroom. The whole day seemed like worthless. I hardly worked, and went to home with a tired body and a depressed sole. The whole day I blamed myself and my past for making me like this. But friend, today is different. The mistakes I committed yesterday I am not going to repeat hem again. 

I have devised a strategy for this. I have started notebook in which I note down all the important things, may be good may be bad, and try to analyze them in my head once I get to bed. Once I get to a point, then I note down the same in the note book. I came tp understand that, we can't think when the blackdog is crawling in our brain. But we can think more clearly when we are fresh and calm. So....just to add to you...instead of thinking the noone is talking to you in the coffee shop, what you can do is to start writing down your feelings while sitting idle in the coffee shop. and if you have someone to talk to....then 🙂 ..... keep the note book in your pocket and start talking............. 

Friend....dont loose hope...I read somewhere...that depression is the disease of the intelligents, I dont know how you will feel after reading this, but I want you to feel good about yourself and remember that everyday is not the same day.... 

Take care... until next time.....   

[Sea-n-sky]

Hi Gopal,

It's good to see you continuing to contribute to the string.

All views, all accounts, all potential remedies are as valid as the next.

I liked your comment about reading somewhere that depression was the disease of intelligence / intelligents. The truth of the matter is you are probably so very right, in a sense. It's just the terminology "disease" I have some difficulty with. For sure in one way it is a disease, particularly when it overwhelms one and is allowed to continue to do that. Tame it, train it, and discipline it, and then it changes. You then become it's master. It's not easy to do that, but it can be done, - you just have to want it.

Winston Churchill was successful in that respect, he suffered from it terribly during much of his life, learned to manage it, and then on becoming it's master, he "whistled it up" on demand, on his terms, and used it to enormous advantage when he had to inspire. Blackdog was a "personal assistant" at those times, (along with an occassional glass of Brandy) - it was assistant in his speech writing.

1. "Never in the field of human conflict, was so much owed by so many to so few" etc. etc.

2." We shall fight them on the beaches, etc. etc. We shall never surrender."

Blackdog inspired him. You can hear it in his voice when he delivered those speeches. He said what he meant, and he meant what he said. He was right.

Hitler and his cronies would confirm that  - IF THEY COULD.

There's a positive side to blackdog, when you become it's master.

And don't forget Roosevelt either. "We have nothing to fear, other than fear itself."

He too was right.  He was another guy who suffered from depression, but succeeded in taming it. In other words, he controlled it, and not the other way round.

That takes a bit of time though, it don't happen overnight.  It can and does happen though, especially when you want it to.

That's why Blackdog is the best name for it, - I reckon.

Other names are a bit negative, - don't you think ?

Cheers,

Sea-n-sky