Depression, anxiety, social anxiety. No motivation

[Ambula84]

Hi guys. First time poster on here.

So i am 33 female and just feel so fed up with life at the moment.

I have suffered from anxiety for as long as I can remember and bouts of depression from time to time but this time it has hung around for 6 months or so. There isnt any major reasons why either, other than the fact my life isn't what I planned it to look like at 33.

I have an awesome supportive family, who I hate putting them through my emotions all the time as I can imagine how draining it can be.

I do have a boyfriend who is a nice guy but I just dont feel the stability i want at my age. We have been together 2 years. He works away alot, has had a gambling problem and his priorities are just not good. Im just not in the right frame of mind to make the decision of what to do in this area.

Things felt so bad yesterday that I decided to go to the hospital. I have just started to see a psychologist recently (have in the past) and first time seeing a psychiatrist a few weeks ago which was very disappointing as for the first consult i was in there for all of 10 minutes and sent away with a new medication  i am still trying to find something that can help... just hate the side effects especially insomnia. 😔

Basically what I have beem struggling with most lately is the mornings.. i hate them. I wake up feeling almost like a dread feeling. Any suggestions on how to overcome this?

Also I always feel the need to sleep. On my days off I feel so exhausted with my anxiety that doing things feels too much.

My social anxiety is getting worse. I don't want to see friends.. i worry about driving. Going to the shops can be a mission.

I envy people that have energy and that are happy. I want to be that person. I have good intentions, read up on ways to help, but when it comes to the crunch... anxiety knocks me down.

Sorry for the rant. Needed to get all that off my chest x

[BballJ]

Hi Ambula84,

Firstly, welcome to the forums. Well done for reaching out for support.

I am sorry to read what you are currently going through, it is never easy when dealing with both depression and anxiety. I am also a long term anxiety sufferer with depression mixed in as well as OCD. I related to your post on a few levels because I have experienced a lot of stuff you are talking about. The feelings of waking up with dread especially, one thing I find that helps is having my day planned out in advance, writing down exactly what I am going to do which not only gives you clarity about your day but allows your mind to go straight to focusing on what needs to be done. When you wake up and need to think about what to do it can I find cause a dread feeling. I think the fact you have gone back to see a psychologist is great and I do hope you will see some benefit in that shortly. Is there an option to maybe see another psychiatrist however? Doesn't sound like the initial appointment went well at all.

There is a few things going on in your mind but you need to work out what to work on first, I would start with your personal feelings and combatting the anxiety and what not and then maybe working on the relationship with your boyfriend and then the social anxiety. Baby steps I think is what is needed at the moment as it does sound you are trying to solve a few puzzles at once which just isn't fair on yourself.

Please, post back as much as you like, we are always happy to talk.

My best for you,

Jay

[HustleBustle]

Hi Ambula84,

This is my first post here as well. I've read a few and yours stood out for me. Whilst everyone experiences things differently much of what you described rings true for me as well.

The one thing that works for me in the morning is moving. As much as I don't often want too I make myself move. It usually involves going for a walk. On many occasions I have gone for a walk around the block in my pajamas, simply because I couldn't be bothered getting dressed. By the time I get home the fresh air had revived me enough to do something else. Sometimes just the dishes, but at least it was something. Put headphones in to block out the world if you need.
Some mornings I only get so far as the front yard, but again, at least its something.

I'm usually a happy person but I have many MANY things I struggle with. I question a lot about my life and where I am. Yesterday I was let down by a number of people and I didn't respond very well, but today I've decided to try and forget it and try not to let yesterday impact on today to much.
Take care and sending hugs.

HB

[fringelily]

Hi Ambula,

I am new here too 🙂

I just thought I would say that regarding troubles getting up in the morning, the only thing that gets me out of bed is having to walk my dog. He just won't take no for an answer. If you don't have a pet, maybe you could try setting a goal of getting up and going for a walk anyway? Even though most mornings, the last thing I want to do is actually get up and go out, I do feel better for making the effort.

I have social anxiety too, and don't like going to the shops, or socializing, ... well any human interaction 😉 I just try to do 1 small thing every day - so yesterday I said good morning to the bus driver. He was friendly, so that gave me the confidence to have a quick chat to the checkout lady at Coles - I just asked if she'd had a busy day and she was friendly and chatty. I'm just finding that baby steps is the way to go for me.

Good luck 🙂 x

[Ambula84]

Hello Fringelily. Thankyou for your response! And your suggestions. In regards to getting up to go for a walk.. as difficult as it is for me.. when I do walk or go to the gym I feel alot better. Thanks to my mum she is my motivator and sometimes I think you need someone that can help. I have come to realise now that Ican't get better unless I put words into actions as frightening as it can be.

Good on you for facing your fear of social anxiety! When someone smiles at me or even says hello without any reason it really brightens my day xxx

[Ambula84]

Hi HB. Thanks for responding. I wish I could say its good to hear we both are not alone in these feelings (although not in a good way) but at least relatable.

I am usually a happy person also and no one knows my personal struggles as I feel like I would burden other's.

Again like the other poster's you have suggested the walk.

I am going to try make it my mission to be more active and conquer my fears.

Sorry to hear you were let down from people. I find it hard to deal in situations like that and I hope you feel better today! Trouble with anxiety is we worry about the future but also dwell on the past.

Thanks again for your response.

Xxxx

[Ambula84]

Hi Jay! Thanks for the reply.

Yes definitley considering seeing another psychiatrist and im lucky the hospital visit that they have got me an appointment with one free of charge on Monday and after that I will do more research on someone better suited to me.

I know I need to work on me and my emotions before i can consider making any other decisions in my life. So thanks for clarifying that with me!

Good tip about writing things down.

Cant wait to feel better!

Xx

[BballJ]

Hi Ambula84,

Glad to read you are seeing another psychiatrist on Monday free of charge, hopefully they can give you more guidance other than just medication.

You can't wait to feel better and with that attitude it is just a matter of when. Keeping a positive mindset in these sort of things is such a big deal even though it may seem small, knowing you will get better if you keep working on getting better every single day then it will happen. Many people on these forums have overcome a variety of mental health issues so you are not alone by any means in this battle.

My best,

Jay

[fringelily]

That's great that you've got your mum's support to help get you motivated.

I hope your appointment with the new psych goes well, and they are a better match for you x