Depression and those around you

[Wife24]

I just wondered,

Is there a chance you can get depression by living with depressed people? I don't mean "catching it" but I am in a relationship with someone who has depression and I'm starting to get down, cry and not feel like myself anymore.

[HA1]

Hello Wife

Welcome to BB and thank you for posting this very important question.

The quick answer is yes.  Partners or carers of loved ones suffering from depression can also be affected by the day to day struggle of caring for someone with depression.  It is very tiring.  So if you are starting to feel as if it might be catching up with you, then I would strongly recommend seeing a GP or psychologist.  The latter is probably more useful.

There are also many support groups out there for carers and partners.  If you feel you need support, you could consider making enquiries of the closest support groups to your location.  

There are a number of other threads on here that discuss matters associated recover this topic.  One of them is titled "caring for your well partner" started by White Knight (search for it in the search bar in top of page).  Take a look, you might find the discussion useful.

let us know how you get along, or if you have any specific questions.

take care

k

[Wife24]

Thankyou for the reply. We  have been married for just over a year and a half. He has had depression for about 6 years. I was alright at first but it has worn me down. I love him very much and he is making many improvements within our life. We have both started seeing psychologists (separately) but i dont feel I have made many improvements within myself as yet. I base all my worth on how he is feeling and have had panic attacks and shakes for maybe about 6 months when I feel over whelmed. I will look up the information you said. Thankyou for your help 🙂

[HA1]

Hi Wife - thank you for your reply 🙂

I am glad that you will look up the thread - there are many on here that can give you some useful insight. 

It worries me though when you say that you 'base all my worth on how he is feeling".  I think you are being very harsh on yourself. I am not sure how you could make a significant difference to how your husband feels.  You can support him, make him feel loved and wanted - all those types of things.  But, in my view, it is unreasonable for you to put the added pressure on judging yourself by how he feels.

Have you seen a GP about the panic attacks and shakes?  If not, I would suggest that you do.

Please keep in touch and ask any questions at all.  

Take care

K

[Wife24]

I havent seen a GP, no. I have started seeing a psychologist and have told her briefly about that. I think I'll start telling her more as it seems to be getting worse.

I dont know how to change those feelings. I can See my husband trying to support me through that, and he really does help me. But this often upsets me because I know he struggles at times and I don't want to make it harder for him either. I think i'm a little lost right now.

My husband and I both love each other very much and are now trying to support eachother with our own issues too. Life gets complicated hey!

[geoff]

ear Wife, I had thought that I replied to you, maybe the Moderators didn't allow it, don't know why.

II agree with Hideaway absolutely a big yes, it just seems to draw us into rheir feelings of being depressed, examples being, 'let's go to the movies, go shopping, go the football because you love your team, A and B invited us over for dinner, or our son/wife are coming over for dinner' the list goes on, but to all of these his answer is no.

Maybe he is trying to help you because he might be getting better, but even if does happen, but there is a query here, you have been caught by this depression and possibly heading downwards.

If you click with your psychologist and she understands where you are coming from, then open the gates, let her in, because she needs to know exactly how you are feeling. L Geoff. x