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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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AdamrW Diagnosed with Depression
  • replies: 5

Hello friends, after having a somewhat horrible couple of weeks, yesterday I took myself to the doctor, had a quick chat, did a questionnaire and was told I have depression. I have been feeling really low for a while, I'm a Project Manager for a gove... View more

Hello friends, after having a somewhat horrible couple of weeks, yesterday I took myself to the doctor, had a quick chat, did a questionnaire and was told I have depression. I have been feeling really low for a while, I'm a Project Manager for a government agency and have just recently taken on the role after a restructure, my partner and I have been having issues with our relationship for a while, we recently lost a 2 year court case in the federal court and I'm a father of two beautiful children under 3. I feel as if the struggles and constant grinding of my day to day life have caught up with me. I have seen a counselor who gave me a lot of printed material on anxiety and depression. I'm now 34 and find myself living in what seems like a black hole. 2 months ago my life seemed 'normal' but I think that things had been building up. I went to work earlier in the week and found myself sitting in front of my computer but not being present, I took myself home as I was struggling to be there. I'm now here putting an entry on the beyond blue website to share my story and read yours. I think I have some underling issues causing my depression, I can be a caring, sensitive person and usually put others first, I also tend to worry about what other people think. I have had anxiety in the past, I had a motorbike accident in Thailand when I was younger and suffered Anxiety when I returned home. I did however managed to get on with my life, progressed in my career, met my partner etc and have had a lot of fun. I'm now in a place I'm not familiar with, I will get better just at the moment I'm struggling to find or see the light at the end of the tunnel. I currently do have trouble sleeping and worry a lot during the night, some times I think I'm going crazy and that I'm a horrible father. My mind seems to spiral in thoughts sometimes. I realize now what depression is like and that its a big issue. I'm trying to find comfort in people who have overcome it and how. Sometimes the stories I read make me feel worse but there is also comfort in knowing others every day all over the world are going through the same thing. To all of you i send you a big HUG. My partner unfortunately doesn't understand mental health issues and thinks I should snap out of it, she is also focusing on our 2 children and does a wonderful job, I do wish she could understand what its like however and offer support. I'm going back to my doctor on Saturday Thanks for reading X

Doolhof Life can be like a maze
  • replies: 11

Hi Everyone, this is my first ever post on this site. I'm going by the name Doolhof which in Dutch means Labyrinth or maze, not that I am Dutch, I just like the word! Some days I feel like I am in a labyrinth and have trouble knowing which way to tur... View more

Hi Everyone, this is my first ever post on this site. I'm going by the name Doolhof which in Dutch means Labyrinth or maze, not that I am Dutch, I just like the word! Some days I feel like I am in a labyrinth and have trouble knowing which way to turn, some days I feel like I am stuck in one place and just looking up at the walls wondering what is beyond, but having no energy at all to find out. As a teenager I felt like I knew where I wanted to be going in life, to be a Mum with 4 children, have a house near a beach, maybe a dog and a great relationship with a husband and my extended family. Four pregnancies and decades later I have no live babies, don't live anywhere near a beach, have a husband and a cat. I also have Borderline Personality Disorder, which makes life and relationships interesting, have a chronic back problem, and experience depression and loneliness, sometimes in almost overwhelming degrees. Part of me knows that my life is really great compared to what other people are going through, and then some days I think I am quite close to hell and no one has any idea how I am feeling. It frustrates me when the sun is shining, the birds are singing, and all I feel like doing is going to bed for the day as I have no enthusiasm to do anything else. For me, feeling lonely is one of the hardest emotions to live with, when my mind tells me that no one cares, when I feel like I don't have a friend in the whole world and who would miss me anyway if I did disappear? I am thankful I do have friends who care, sometimes my brain just tells me they don't. I have been reading some of the posts written by other people and have appreciated the openness to share thoughts and feelings, it has helped me to understand that other people go through similar things I do. A few of my family members and a friends do not understand depression much at all, and understand "on going grief" even less. So many times I have been told to pull my socks up and get on with life. My answer to that is, that if I could pull my socks all the way up to my head, some days I still would not be able to cope very well. Depression is not a thing you can turn off like a tap. How do others out there cope and deal with depression, grief and feelings of loneliness? I will be interested to see where this goes, to see where the labyrinth of life will lead me through the Beyond Blue connection.

GeorgieBelle Feels like I'm drowning
  • replies: 7

Hi everyone, I just joined up, and I think I felt I had to because everything I was thinking and feeling was just being internalised. I know I have depression - I have seen doctors and am on medication - but for the last 6 weeks or so I have been fee... View more

Hi everyone, I just joined up, and I think I felt I had to because everything I was thinking and feeling was just being internalised. I know I have depression - I have seen doctors and am on medication - but for the last 6 weeks or so I have been feeling overwhelmingly alone and helpless. I always make a huge effort to see people, keep in contact and make others smile, but a while ago I wondered whether anybody would make that much effort with me. So I stopped. I decided I would talk to those who initiated contact and message when necessary, but would not go out of my way. Three people messaged me. In a month. One was asking for another friends phone number. My best friend knew I was in a bad place and still didn't contact me, nobody tried to make me smile. Everyone says they're busy. Hey, I work too. But if you have time to update your Facebook multiple times a day, or to sit down and eat or watch TV, then you have time to text a friend and see how they are, or ask someone how their day has been. I am so incredibly hurt because what I do for others, is apparently too hard for anyone to do for me. I feel helpless and worthless and I am just so incredibly tired of everything. I have hit the point where I don't wish I was dead, I just don't wish I was here either. I don't know if that will make sense to anyone. I just kind of want to disappear without causing a fuss. Just...be gone without anyone worrying. I know that isn't possible (I have family). It's so hard to explain.

Over_It Family is sabotaging my recovery. Help?
  • replies: 2

Hi guys, I haven't really got anywhere else to go, I have been fighting severe depression and anxiety since April. I was starting to make progress on it, regaining some confidence to step outside the house, but this morning a member of my family has ... View more

Hi guys, I haven't really got anywhere else to go, I have been fighting severe depression and anxiety since April. I was starting to make progress on it, regaining some confidence to step outside the house, but this morning a member of my family has sabotaged all that, making out that I can just get over it like that and I don't have a problem. I've had a massive downhill slide. This family member wonders why I become suicidal at times (I'm not currently). There's no point explaining to them because they won't listen to a word I say. I can't leave home because I can't afford to, but at the same time I can't cope with this anymore. I have barricaded myself in my bedroom and have not eaten at all today because I'm now too anxious to leave my bedroom or eat, lest this person starts again. I don't know what to do anymore. If I stay I won't get better, but I have no choice.

Wanderlost I did the anxiety and depression test: I ended up high range but I dont feel abnormal
  • replies: 7

I had opened up to a friend about my illness and she suggested I join here. Finally did it - I guess these things take time. I was reading the forum names and I just started crying, which is odd for me. I guess it is confronting seeing so many people... View more

I had opened up to a friend about my illness and she suggested I join here. Finally did it - I guess these things take time. I was reading the forum names and I just started crying, which is odd for me. I guess it is confronting seeing so many people feeling like I do and all of your thoughts being displayed as a list through them. I find everyone just doesn't understand. Everyone has these wants and expectations of me and I just can't. I just can't. I know there are people who care about me but everyone is so caught up in their own lives and I guess I push people away... And people just don't understand. I think they compare how I feel to when they don't feel like getting out of bed. They don't know it feels to be physically, mentally and emotionally defeated by the pressure to be present. I've mostly stopped talking to people in the real world except my psych about anything because its too tiring explaining myself about everything. I say things (anything) and people respond but it's like it isn't a response to what I have said. They are always missing the point.I did the anxiety and depression test on here and it stuck me that I didn't know that people out there didn't struggle with these things. It's so odd to think that that is possible. I ended up high range but I don't feel abnormal. I've started abusing prescription drugs when things get too too much. Particularly with my boyfriend, he takes my emotions personally and hates me self harming but the self-destruction and "need to not be dealing with this" mentality remains regardless. He gets defensive and aggressive and it starts a lot of arguments that I am usually too worn to want to remain conscious through.i feel trapped by it all and that makes me scared. I don't know how to make this stop.

SammiH Feeling caught
  • replies: 5

I have recently been diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I am a mum of 2 children (4&2). My husband I feel doesn't understand what I'm going through he just thinks coz I look ok I am ok. His response to everything is "well everyone has crap going ... View more

I have recently been diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I am a mum of 2 children (4&2). My husband I feel doesn't understand what I'm going through he just thinks coz I look ok I am ok. His response to everything is "well everyone has crap going on" which I totally get. on the other hand my best friend has been amazing and really supportive being there listening to everything I need to say she really has been amazing. now my husband has had a go at her saying she is sticking her nose in where it's not welcome. understandable my best friend is angry and upset but now my husband has banded her from seeing my children coz he "hates" her. im so lost as what to do. My husband thinks I should stick by him no matter what. But what do you do when you don't agree. I love my best friend who has always been there for me no matter what but i love my husband too. i just feel like since I got diagnosed he just doesn't care about my feelings anymore

flo71 Sourcing a book to explain to my children about my depression
  • replies: 4

I am looking for a book of some sort to help me explain my depression to my sons who are 14,12 and 7. I found one that might suit, I'm not Alone by Michelle Sherman, but am finding it hard to buy as it was published a few years ago in America....I th... View more

I am looking for a book of some sort to help me explain my depression to my sons who are 14,12 and 7. I found one that might suit, I'm not Alone by Michelle Sherman, but am finding it hard to buy as it was published a few years ago in America....I think? If anyone could help me with some sort of literature that would help me please xx

accordingtosam Tired of being "the strong one".
  • replies: 5

I have led a life of being the 'strong one'. Putting everyone else's problems before my own and wanting to help is just what I have always done. It's who I am. I put on a brave face and everyone around me sees a strong, independent person. Suddenly I... View more

I have led a life of being the 'strong one'. Putting everyone else's problems before my own and wanting to help is just what I have always done. It's who I am. I put on a brave face and everyone around me sees a strong, independent person. Suddenly I sit here at 31, tight in the chest, feeling lost and unsure where to look for direction. I spent too long denying my own feelings and now I feel like I am the one who is unravelling. I am an Aries which makes me stubborn. Stubborn to the fact that I have been experiencing waves of what I was too proud to admit is more than likely some kind of depression. It's not life threatening but sometimes it can be paralysing, even if only for a day. It comes and goes and one day I can be plodding along ok and the next I can feel down enough to not want to get out of bed. While the emotions I am feeling are real I also take on a great amount of guilt for feeling the way I do. Yes there's been things that have hurt me in the past, a long term relationship breakdown, a life time of family drama but nothing I ever considered significant enough to justify why I feel so miserable at times. I think about so many other things that are wrong in the world and how many less fortunate people are out their surviving and it makes me mad for feeling the way I do. Maybe I am naive but I just don't understand it. How is it possible to feel so rough when most of the time you don't even know why? My brother was diagnosed with Bi-Polar disorder which I feel was induced by his own drug addiction. He made and continues to make poor life choices and I have based my own life on working hard to be nothing like him. My mother is his saviour even though he treats her like a puppet on a string and she continually reminds me that mental health issues "runs in the family". I have never given in to the notion and sometimes I feel like our relationship would be better if I did use the Mental Health card like my brother so loosely throws around as an excuse for bad behaviour. I feel like I have spent my entire life trying to prove to myself that I am strong and that I would make better life choices than my siblings. I have spent so much of my energy setting such high expectations to be strong and shelving my own emotions that now I'm tired. Tired of being the together one. Tired of "fixing" everyone else and hiding behind their problems instead of facing my own. To those listening, thank you.

Loz43 Unlovable?
  • replies: 3

My depression has hit an all time low. On max dose of meds and still feel helpless, hopeless and unloveable. I was in a lovelss marriage for 6 years longer than I should've been, trying to make it work but it seemed that my ex wouldn't even meet me h... View more

My depression has hit an all time low. On max dose of meds and still feel helpless, hopeless and unloveable. I was in a lovelss marriage for 6 years longer than I should've been, trying to make it work but it seemed that my ex wouldn't even meet me half way. This made me feel that I wasn't worth the effort. Been single for the last 3 years and dated a bit and agian the men made me feel used and unloveable. All I want is some companionship and to feel loved. I know this is not the be all and end all, I like myself, I am a loving, caring and affectionate person so what is wrong with me, why am I so unlovable to the opposite sex. I have been lonely and alone for nearly 10 years now. I have great kids, a job that I love, awesome supportive friends and family so why am I so depressed? I just don't understand

Joe_Black1 My shame & guilt are winning
  • replies: 10

I went to see a counsellor the other day. For the first time, I have been able to see my depression 'in action', as it was happening. I recognised some of the destructive, hateful thoughts for what they were. Seems kinda weird that I've finally reali... View more

I went to see a counsellor the other day. For the first time, I have been able to see my depression 'in action', as it was happening. I recognised some of the destructive, hateful thoughts for what they were. Seems kinda weird that I've finally realised the destructive nature of these thoughts and seen them for what they are after so many years. But my mind-fog is pretty heavy some days. She told me its an awesome thing to have this new 'clarity' on my depressive thinking. Now that I'm aware of it, I feel like I've given it a face, but I've also now made it more prominent in my consciousness... It's more powerful now than ever before. Today I want to leave this place more than I have in nearly 5 years andI' m frightened that I've reached this place again. Old guilt and shame have come flooding back anew, and my chest is heavy with the knowledge I'm so close. They are winning and I don't want to face anyone again with these forces controlling me. I cant face anyone again. I don't want to let my counsellor down, but I feel totally overwhelmed. Today at work I wanted to end it all. beyondblue’s clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636. Normal 0 false false false EN-AU X-NONE X-NONE /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0cm; mso-para-margin-right:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0cm; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi; mso-fareast-language:EN-US;}