Dear sar97,
It would probably be a good idea to look into the hormones. I just mention that because I am going through perimenoupause and the hormonal changes are having a huge effect, intensifying existing emotions. Hormones can really affect us a lot. So whatever you’re feeling may just seem so much worse right now. It’s something you could try discussing with your GP, and also specialist if you have one for PCOS. If seeing a psychologist or psychiatrist you could talk it through with them too. The above people could also help in relation to knowing if antidepressants may help and what options there are with different ones.
I wouldn’t make sudden decisions about your relationship if you are at this emotional low point, as things can seem a lot more dramatic when in that state, but when things are more balanced again things can look and feel a lot different. From what I understand about BPD (and please correct me if this doesn’t fit for you), it can also involve going into black and white thinking, or all or nothing thinking. So right now ending the relationship might seem like something you feel driven to do, but later you might realise it wasn’t necessarily that you needed to end it, but perhaps work through with your partner how things are going. As you describe it as a long-term supportive relationship, it seems like it would be worth trying to address what is troubling you in relation to it, especially as you describe your partner as understanding.
It seems like you are going through a difficult time so I hope you can find some support and feel better soon. Take care and best wishes.
