Depression and cannabis use

Anthony83 · ‎25-04-2017

Well a little about myself, im 33 years of age, male and live alone. I never really dealt with depression until a few years ago; well i did but nothing on this scale. Most the time before it was a once every now and then occurrence that i could snap out of within the day or so. Issues i have now is there is no one left in my life, but thats just the start of it.

See i used to smoke marijuana for many years and all was good, the only paranoia i developed was from trying to hide it from family (they are all against it and is the reason i stopped). The constant pressure of feeling like if they find out and would be disbanded from the family payed a toll, well it's happened without it anyway...

My depression came on months to a year after quitting my full time marijuana use, i have smoked the odd few times after and it seems to make me feel better yet guilty about what my family thinks so i never continue. I have also been put on and off anti depressants over the past few years (non marijuana use) yet i always get really bad side effects so i work my way back off them. They never seem to help much at all, and make me wonder what they actually put in those medications we're blindly putting in our system.

What i don't understand is Marijuana works for me, however it's obviously frowned apon by the public, my family and employers. Employers and family don't mind if i take anti depressents that cause more issues and horrific side effects, yet if i smoked weed the world is going to end. Which also leads to unemployment, fear of judgement and a sense of unworthiness. Im currently unemployed and struggling like never before with no assistance from anyone, im scared to end up homeless. I have bills and everyone asking for money yet never able to even get a job interview (obviously causing major depression). I have also done counseling last time i was on anti depressants, they all tend to say nothing is wrong with me and it's just lack of a job causing this.

I only know one thing that works yet it leaves me feeling ashamed (not that it really matters anymore) but yeah. Well as i have no one to talk to anymore and running out of options i have decided to sign up. I still feel very doubtful that this will help but i have nothing to lose i guess.. PS i have also thought of moving to a country that have medicinal cannabis programs that also treat depression. I really don't like anti depressants, they are horrible

kanga_brumby · ‎25-04-2017

Anthony Welcome to BB forums. All I can say is there are lots of different antidepressants out there. They just haven't found the right one for you, that's the main problem. I have known several people who have used for recreational used marijuana. Also other drugs. Paranoia always followed the use of them. If it is a medicinal cannabis that's different strain of marijuana, altogether. From what is sold on the street, I have known people who have laced the marijuana with speed. You don't want to go there. I hope things improve for you.

Kanga

Anthony83 · ‎25-04-2017

Thanks for the reply kanga; im just at the whits end of what to do, every time they put me on medication it does very little and the side effects leave me thinking "id rather be depressed". I completely understand what you're saying and agree, thus was one the reasons i quit. Unfortunately it was also the start of a downhill spiral to what has become of now. Ironically, yes i smoked but never been one that liked taking anything including over the counter pain relief medication from a very young age.

My issue is looking back at my life; how a few years back everything was fine until months after quitting, mainly because of the reasons i listed in the original post. I had a girlfriend, living in a nice house, job, cars and living comfortable without depression. I quit to try and better myself (according to family) only for everything to flush down the toilet to where im at now, with basically nothing.

In no way I want to advocate or endorse taking illicit drugs whatsoever and would recommend others not follow suite. However, i never had these issues when i did smoke (as a computer programing hobbyist im usually good at solving problems). This issue though, has me stumped and is easily reverted back to the cease of cannabis intake. Im really interested if anyone else has also run into the same scenario as myself?

Many tend, to not want to talk about their prior or current use so therefore i never get a clear perception whether, i am one of many or a rare case. Anyway thanks for the response, any information is help. Also yeah it's a CBD chemical within the strain, i believe that helps but hey im no medical researcher.

Doolhof · ‎25-04-2017

Hi Anthony83,

Welcome to the community here. I'm really sorry to read of the situation you are in right now. Unfortunately the antidepressant medication can be a little hit and miss. The Drs. do try their best to find something that is beneficial, problem is the medication does not react the same in everyone.

As Kanga has mentioned, sometimes it takes a while for the right medication to be found. I know that is a hassle, but the process can be beneficial.

Hopefully by sharing how you are feeling here, you may find your depression eases off a little. Just knowing that people care can make a huge difference to how I am feeling.

It may seem to you that we are all anonymous "beings" the other side of the screen, but we are all fellow humans who have been on a journey related to mental health.

Being unemployed is also a burden I understand. Toss in depression and it can be a bumpy ride!

Hope you stick around for a while and you find benefits from being part of this community.

Cheers for now from Mrs. Dools

rememberme · ‎26-04-2017

Hi Anthony I understand were you are coming from as I used to smoke cannabis as a way of coping and if Im entirely honest sometimes I really miss it. However I don't miss being involved in an illegal activity and all the risks that it entails. I found once I stopped smoking cannabis my mental health deteriorated as I had been using cannabis to zone out and push done all my feelings and once I couldn't do that anymore they all bubbled to the surface. It was tough going but with time, counselling and the right medication things did get better. Being unemployed and worried about being homeless is very hard, anyone would be stressed and looking for relief in that situation. Counselling is a really good way of taking some of that stress away. Im always here to chat if you need it.

geoff · ‎27-04-2017

hello Anthony, with marijuana it's an instant feeling of being on a high if I can call it that, while AD's don't give you the instant effect and certainly not being on a high just like alcohol also does as soon as you start drinking.
That's what you are having difficulty with, something that works straight away, but AD's take time to have any effect, and the only feeling you may have is that you start to feel better, but then there maybe times when you may have a relapse, so you want to smoke weed.
It will give you have an instant euphoria but AD's won't do this, so this is what you have to understand, and even if you do, you still have to accept the fact that AD' are better for you. Geoff.

Anthony83 · ‎29-04-2017

Thanks for the responses everyone, yeah i haven't smoked for a very long time and when im down i start to wonder was it worth quitting. I do agree with not being around the illegal complications that surrounds a pot smoker; actually glad to be away from it. I am past the point of addiction that left years ago however there always is that feeling "i wouldn't mind a smoke/missing the feeling" that never leaves. Anyway the responses have been great and im actually proud to have the will power to stay away from the substance. Once again thanks all for your input.

rememberme · ‎29-04-2017

No worries Anthony, I can relate to what your feeling and you should feel proud of staying away from the substance. I hope you're feeling better and you find a job soon.

Doolhof · ‎30-04-2017

Hi Anthony,

I'm wondering if there is some other way you can have a similar feeling to the one yo had when smoking. I'm not thinking along the lines of another drug or alcohol, but can you sort of replicate that feeling with something else?

Some people talk of having a real high after going for a run, riding a horse, trail bike riding, watching an exhilarating movie, playing a full on game or something similar.

Can you think of something you could do to give you a different kind of high? Or is it the chilled out feeling you like? Have a massage, practise meditation, I don't know, you might be able to come up with something.

Cheers from Mrs. D

Anthony83 · ‎30-04-2017

It's a feeling that can't really be described, i just felt normal when regularly smoking (im convinced there needs to be a push for medicinal programs). There is a difference from the 'high' non smokers relate to, rather those who use regularly. That initial, typical feeling; most describe really becomes non existent to those who smoke everyday. As the body becomes accustomed to the psychosis effect; it's basically like being straight, but a rather calming effect. Probably the same sort of effect experienced by those who take AD's with success. The differences i find, is Cannabis has alot less side severe effects over AD's (well for myself anyway).

My performance at the previous job also dropped, dramatically when i stopped (believe it or not). My software developing hobby has also suffered; finding it harder to solve math problems associated and overall feel hindered. There is also many studies around the world, proving CBD can have many positive effects. The issue is as the substance is viewed an illegal substance, the research is overlooked.

As for other options, i have tried many listed but they all have different outcomes; none seem to have the same positive effects. I was C average student at school, when i would actually do the work. Always had concentration issues, that would lead to being sidetracked easily. When i started using in my teens; it was quickly apparent i could actually sit and read a book. My brain would slow down enough and concentrate on the task at hand; prominently leading to my new found hobby of software development. From then, was on the catch up course through-out my life and actually enjoyed study.

After quitting that same old issue has returned, along with depression. There isn't many that understand where im coming from and those who do probably haven't the power (especially here in Australia). Medicinal programs are only for those terminally ill (within Australia). On the other hand, there is many countries that support and have medicinal programs (understanding that very situation).

What baffles me is we have programs for hard drug users that the government supports their habits (methadone) yet beneficial CBDmedicinal programs get overlooked. Giving users essentially (heroin) only because the patient's feel sick on withdrawal; yet overlooking medicinal CBD is absurd IMO. Alot diagnosed with ADD (i was tested) on speed based medication are mostlikely misjudged and actually need CBD based to increase concentration...