Imagine it. You are a ship in the ocean. 'Normal people' live on land and you visit there often but you are drawn back to your ship at the docks only to be sent off again on a trip to the high seas (depression)
But there is no destination and no adventure In the ocean all alone you shut down the engine because- well there is no sense in proceeding when you have not directional control - no rudder (medication). Perhaps your parents were also born without one, or you had an incident or your construction is made of soft wood.
So you go into the dry dock. Here you are dried of all control where others can evaluate you, ask you questions and repaint you. They install your rudder then put you out to sea. You head off with complete control but you have no map (therapy) nor do you have any contact with others (land) and others feel "out of sight out of mind". Land is not life on the high seas- they wont understand. Only sailors do.
You search through to find comfort to find a map but this map has missing pieces (consultations), much searching is needed to find the missing bit to join them together.(therapy sessions). During this voyage your rudder is unreliable, the linkages are fragile. Your direction is always vague. You stand on the bridge with waves drenching your face often. You often want to kiss the world goodbye as you feel irrelevant, often adrift without energy. Some ships make it to shore but have to use anchors to land so they repel the forces that drag them back out to sea.
Being a ship you will never be thrown onto land like most. But you do get some people waving at you from the shore. Lovely but not enough to call it support. And you do get the odd ship passing by throwing a rope ladder to connect you so you dont feel all alone, nice, but they also have their own problems as they are ships themselves.
You accept that you are indeed a ship and always will be. You also realise that you can let out all of your emotions when ever you want,in your own hull. The echoes are deafening.
The dock managers (psych's) know your struggle but when at sea if you have no rudder (meds) they cannot help you.And if you do not have therapy (maps) you cannot find direction.As you are a ship you will never get to be on land and return to the docks.
You must fix your rudder,you must find all parts to your map and piece them together,you must make the interior of your ship seaworthy (caring for yourself).
Then you can be repaired so you can anchor yourself to shore. A safe ship
