Coping with uni placement

Guest_28554102

Hi all,

I am currently on week 4/5 of hospital placement for my allied-health degree and I feel like I can't keep going but at the same time giving up isn't an option either. I have been studying for over 4 years and this placement is making me question whether I just wasted my early 20s because I absolutely hate it. This is my first clinical placement, and every single day has been a struggle. I have a history of depression and PTSD and was working really hard to stay afloat mentally before this placement even started.

I have already reached out to my course-coordinator about my struggles and have tried communicating with my clinical educator but there isn't much they can do. My partner and family don't understand and keep telling me to push through. The thing is I have already been pushing, every day. I feel like they think I'm weak or dramatic. I am not the kind of person to give up easily, and I know how to push myself, but this is just too much. I'd rather run a marathon every day for the next month if it meant I didn't have to go back to placement tomorrow. Because the hospital I am at is paper-based, we don't really know what were gonna get until we go up to the ward, and it fills me with dread every day. I have gotten incredibly complex patients, while my peer gets to see lovely old ladies. It feels like a waste because I can't help these people at all, if anything I am a burden.

I am going to try to push through the remaining week and a half but I fear I will have a breakdown while I am there. I have already had a few tears in the bathroom and panic attacks in my car. Even if I make it through this placement, I have to deal with the reality that maybe I just wasted 4 years and 60k in HECS debt for nothing.

Has anyone dealt with a similar situation? I am simply at a loss and feel like nobody understands.

Croix

Dear New Member~

I'm really glad to welcome you here to the Forum as you are by no means the first to come here in similar situations.

First let me say that no time spent on you degree is wasted, it is a solid grounding in health and health-related matters and can equip you for a variety of roles including patient contact. Really speaking you should be very proud of your attainment.

Working in any environment -medical or otherwise, while having the effects of PTSD is extra hard, I have been in exactly that situation myself. Leaving matters as they are and trying to soldier on despite nightmares, tears, fear of work and all the rest is simply going ot make tihngs worse -then you wil be tempted to throw the whole tihng away.

From your words it sounds like you may be able to cope wiht the placement, seeing there is such a short time to go. I hope you can.

It would be a great mistake to regard all positions as being as horrible as your placement, there are an almost infinite number of jobs in the area, though I would have a serious talk wiht you NUM or administrator to see if the confronting sessions can be minimized so you can in fact complete placement.

Once qualified you wil have more choice and can avoid areas that give you particular stress. There have been many nurses here who have found at the start -like you - they could not cope and questioned their choice of study, however in most cases, and probably yours, they were not given easy positions. Many were thrown straight into ED due to lack of staff in that area - just about the worst decision administration could make. It would be so confronting and one would feel so incapable.

You wil grow and change and gain expereince. If you were to return to your current position having been in a more guided and less stressful time in the interim you might be surprised at how well you could cope, and not have the same adverse reactions.

Please do not think I am not aware of how hard things are at the moment, I'm in no way minimizing the difficulties and am not just blindly saying to keep on, I do understand, have faith in you and think it is a case of temporary miss-allocation.

I am sure you will find your niche

Croix

ABC01

Dear Guest,

I do not have experience in the field where your placement is,but I just wanted to put my support behind you.

Your health is very important. And Croix's post gave alot of good advice.

I too have had panic attacks and questioned alot of myself.

We are here to listen on the forum.

ABC01