Constant feelings of self loathe

[Ben81]

Hi all not sure if this is the right place to post. I like to get to the poi so here goes.

I don't think I am suicidal but I think about it lots,  I think about how everyone would be better without me and different ways of suicide. I have come to think its normal to think like this. And one day it will either go away or get the better of me. My life isn't bad I am employed have a loving family. Thing get tough from time to time but I don't feel I am different to anyone else in life. The main things that keep me is my mum an daughter and my fiancée I think how sad they would be without me. Sometimes though I think they would be better for me to disappear. 

 so is it normal is it just me. Are there others out there do I need to do something. I  just confused and want to know I am normal I guess 

thanks in advance too

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[Jacko777]

Hi Ben81,

Welcome to he Beyond Blue forums mate, I am glad you are facing and asking the tough questions, you have come to a safe place where you can talk about this.

I don't know if it is normal to feel this way, I guess everyone is so different, we all have different ways of coping. I can guarantee that your loved ones would not be better off without you, they would be shattered. I don't think it is healthy for you to be having these thoughts, I think you could seek some professional advice and see how you can change this. There quite possibly could be some simple explanation and steps you can take to feel better. You could ring the BB phone service for some advice or check in with your GP. I don't think these thoughts will go away on their own and there is no way we are going to let this get the better of you.

Perhaps you could start a new daily ritual; spend say 20 minutes each day practicing thankfulness for all the parts of your life, the things that you have worked at to make happen, your family, career, passions, home etc, give gratitude, even for the challenges, they prompt you to grow, to be a better person and to find greater peace and happiness. Be thankful that you are even alive to take a breath, to partake in the miracle of life. Talk any time.

Jack