Circling around and around and around

[Jane971]

It’s now 5am. I’ve spent the last 7-8 hours on Instagram, scrolling through reels, posts, stories photos. Strangers lives who I don’t know and will probably never meet. 
 

I saw my GP again today regarding my overall wellbeing and my mental health. She referred me to the Acute Care Team at the Hospital and so I spent an hour speaking with another doctor about what’s been going on for me. 
 

I then went to work for a few hours. Got home, had some left overs. Spoke to my aunt on the phone. And then just got stuck on the couch, on my phone. And here we are. 
 

I hate to say this happens a lot. Sometimes I feel utterly helpless and hopeless. I don’t know what to do and how to change. I feel like my life is going no where and I don’t know how to pivot and change course. 
 

I am 30 years old. I have lived such a fortunate life in so many ways. Who am I? What is it that I want? When will this get better? Where do I belong? Why do I feel so messed up? How did this happen?

Third time poster, just trying to survive. 

[Monkey444]

I too am trying to just survive. And this last week has been (like you say) like a horrible circulation on the apps. It all feels unhelpful. Im 34 and me too I say to myself what am I meant to be doing with myself? e.g. there's no instructions when you get to this stage of life!?

It starts an existential chain of thoughts that sucks..

It's true it's hard. We are warriors to push forward and continue in these difficult times. Is there anything you could do that would bring relief to your situation? I go for walks at botanic gardens overlooking the river as self care, have a therapist though I'm not sure how helpful it is.

Also, just because I've been fortunate previously in my life too doesn't mean we should be indesctructable mental health-wise I suppose.

I hope you feel a little better soon and that my message helped and wasn't just a big rant on my behalf.