Broken and unsure: I have not been OK for weeks

[shucks46]

G’day all

I’m having a real crappy time at the moment, depression has stuck its head back up,the feeling loneliness and not having anyone around I’ve been in tears all day pretty much crying myself to sleep through out waking up and back in tears again.

I don’t know what brings it on, I can be good one minute/day the next I’m at rock bottom.

I don’t have anyone around to talk to as for friends family or so on. I just wish this shit would all just go away.

[geoff]

Hello Shucks45, thanks for posting your comment and I have not been hypnotised but it's certainly something I'm interested in and wish I could help you, however, in regards to falling asleep everybody has their own way, which may change depending on their circumstances and the situation you're in.

Some people watch TV and are able to just suddenly fall asleep, this includes me, but not necessarily when I was in depression, especially when I was crying.

When you are watching the TV or youtube your eyes are stimulated to what's happening, so this could make it difficult for you and increase your arousal, positively or negatively.

What I did instead was just listen to a radio station that played the music I loved, yes I may cry to a favourite song, but it made me sleep, and even when I woke up, I had company in the background.

Your doctor may be able to extend your mental health plan but it's a decision they have to make and doesn't happen every time, but worth asking.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

[geoff]

Hi Shucks, I'm sorry but forgot to mention these dark clouds.

I remember a cartoon where the comic figure walked around with a dark cloud over him which kept his clothes always dirty, so could these be the same as the pain you've accumulated over the past few days, weeks, and even months relating to the stress, anxiety and worry you are experiencing.

I'm not qualified to make this judgement as I'm not a doctor.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

[shucks46]

Hi Geoff

thanks for the reply, a lot of times I do fall asleep to the tv on a low volume or listening to mind space on YouTube, however waking up with a major anxiety attack last nite while staying the nite in a different house I couldn’t calm it down leaving me up all nite no matter what I did, tv, YouTube, slow deep breathing.

As for the dark clouds, I’m not sure what’s going on there but it like the seen out the movie Ghost when a couple actors were killed the demons rose and carried them off, As I was under that’s all it was, just being consumed by dark black clouds.

This mental health just seems to have taken over and consumed my everyday life.

Sadly to say, due to my profession and the side effects of medications I’m unable to take any, as of yet I’ve not had any meds that I can concentrate on, mine and other people’s life’s depend on being alert.

[Aaronsis]

HEy Shucks46

I am really sorry to hear that you are struggling at the moment, Geoff has given you some really great tips and some wonderful support.

I wanted to make you aware of an app called Calm. There are some really great images and some sounds and techniques that may help you in your attempt to get some rest. You may have seen it or even have it but I would be interested to see what you think about this app. That is really terrifying to wake up having and anxiety attack, I have no idea how that feels but it sounds terrible and so very scary. Also that you were not in your house and in the comfort of familiar surroundings too, very scary shucks46.

I was hypnotized once, it too took be to some pretty scary places, I am not sure if that is the whole point, to take you to the pain and hurt inside and to address it, I too felt pretty ordinary afterwards, however as I sit here now typing this I am reflecting on how I feel about it today. Maybe looking back and after I had some time and some more counselling to put it all into manageable portions, maybe it helped, I know that I don't struggle with the issues that I sought help for, maybe it did work. I guess maybe there is some time and some work to do for you in that space and maybe it might help in time, just at the time it was pretty confronting.

You mentioned your day time role does not allow you to take meds, is this something that you could work out with your manager to perhaps to some alternative tasks, like light duties or the like so you can get some extra support if medication is what your GP thinks will help? You don't have to say what you do for work I am just thinking if there is a way to manage this time so you can get the help you need?

I am so proud you are sharing here how you are feeling and that you are doing some really great things to help yourself, reaching out and asking questions and taking on suggestions is really wonderful.

Hope to chat some more

Hugs

Sarah

[Guest_7403]

Next time you're at your psychiatrist ask about stimulant based medications as opposed to ADs and sedatives.

Try googling them to get an idea of how they work

[shucks46]

I’m currently in the middle of a breakdown, I don’t feel stable and can’t seem to get my head wrapped around things.

I rang the phone support this morning and the lady was unhelpful nor could I understand her. I rang the mental health triage had a chat with the lady there seemed to help for a bit.

I don’t really want to go the the hospital due to the fear of being put in the useless ward they have there, all they is give a hand full of pills and tell you to go bed. I just feel so lost at the moment and not sure what to do.

[Aaronsis]

Hey shucks46

I am glad that you have reached out here to chat when I can hear how bad you are feeling. Firstly I know that you have called some support and that is great but if you are really in danger here please call 000 and have an ambulance come to you. You matter and they care and will do all that they can to help you.

Can you think of what has caused you to feel like you are falling apart today? Did you want to talk about that some more? I can hear how frustrated you are and that you are really struggling, so anything that helps I am here to chat.

I am sorry that the support line was not helpful, please don't give up on them tho, it really is a case of who you get on the other end and that person may not have been able to help you with your situation, not that they don't want to, there will be others on the lines that can connect with you.

I am here if you want to chat some more shucks46.

Hugs
Sarah

[shucks46]

Hi Sarah

I can’t figure out what has triggered me this or any other time, it comes and goes at the drop of a hat. Between the depression and anxiety. I’m just lost and unstable at the moment and getting really tired of going through this every other month or so. I’m not in any danger or having harmful thoughts. I’m just losing the plot at the moment and don’t know why or what’s causing it sadly to say.

I’ve read about a sooma treatment that seems to have a high success rate, but can only be brought about by a GP or treating dr. Hopefully I can secure that due to giving up on medications.

I’ve just rang my GP for a appointment tomorrow, I know I should probably go to a hospital but I fear they’ll just lock me away again.

I’d never give up on the phone support and you are correct the majority of them are very helpful but the one I spoke to this am just stressed me right out with the same question over and over.

[Rocky_P_]

Hi shucks46,

Sorry to hear about all you have been going through. It's good to see you continuing to engage in the community and Sarah and Geoff have given some good advice to you along the way.

I remember the roller coaster feeling when I was in the midst of my decade long battle with depression. You would never know what each day would bring and when the next low would hit you head on. I'm really glad you have an appointment with your GP tomorrow. It took me quite a while to find what worked for me, and from talking to other people, it seems that everyone is different and what works for one person won't work for the next. For me it was a combination of medication from my GP (which I can already see isn't an option for you at this stage) and talking through things that helped me recover. Continue to work with your GP and health professionals to find what works for you.

It's also really important that you remain connected with the supports you have around you, like you have found in the community here. There are a lot of people here who care about how you are travelling, so keep sharing when you feel you can & want to.

Best Wishes

Rocky

[shucks46]

Cheers rocky,

I’m taking the advice given in for sure.

I’m really hoping to secure the sooma treatment which is a electric therapy with a high secuess rate and can be monitored remotely by the GP or treating professional. They say a 30 minute session a day. It’s something that’s came out of Finland but available worldwide.

I can not seem to concentrate or focus on the medications I have been prescribed to date, with my profession 1 simple slip up could cost mine or another persons life I’m not ready for that.

I do try talking as much as possible which seems to help a fair bit that said though, I’m really over going through this time and time again. I’ve been chucked in a few hospital wards which don’t seem to help.