Bouts of depression that go away

[BeccaBeccaGoGo]

Hi there. I'm very confused with my depression. I am 100% sure it's depression and not just sadness I'm dealing with as I've had it on and off for years, but I don't understand why it just comes on so randomly and only for a few days to a week, then it goes away. Like a virus, I get sick then get better, then it might happen again in like a month or 2. I don't get mania so it's not bipolar. I've started on medication again as I was incredibly bad for the last few days, but before I can even give it a chance to kick it, I'm better again. I don't think it has much to do with happy and bad things happening in my life, it seems so random but either way it's very strong when I get it. I don't want to face the day, I don't want to have a day, I keep telling myself to just get through it as I always get better but it's so hard at the time. It feels like I'll never get better and at the time I'm always convinced I'll be like this forever. It's not until I come out of it that I can think clearly again. I nearly quit my job last time it happened, because I didn't think I'd come out of it but I feel like I am getting better now even though I've only been taking my medication for 3 days.

I'm not sure if I get anxiety, I feel like saying I worry is more accurate. I get obsessed with thoughts and play them out in my head to the point where I feel like they are real and I'll be at work convinced something bad I've thought of is happening and be trying with everything I have not to cry and concentrate on my work which I normally can't.

I also feel constantly frustrated and irritable. I don't feel like this is me. I feel like I'm naturally patient so I don't understand the short fuse. Ive been like this for the past few years.

I don't really know what I'm asking, I just don't know how to get better. My work is suffering and I've been through 3 jobs in the last year because of it. My relationship is suffering and I don't know how to explain to my partner what's happening because I get frustrated that he doesn't get it. He does try, but I just expect alot of him because I feel like I need someone to help me get better and he's not a miracle worker.

Anyway, can someone relate or suggest any ways to get better?

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

Your first paragraph was me early in my life (I'm 62yo).

When I was correctly diagnosed in 2009 I had bipolar and depression but my sensitivity and random periods of sadness was ...dysthymia.

I'm not qualified to say you do or don't have it but you could explore it with a psychiatrist.

For me there weren't many "triggers" as such, jus the pattern was about every 6-8 weeks and lasted for a few days to two weeks long. Some triggers like music and memories or animals experiencing cruelty were clear but other time I wouldn't know why I got so emotional.

Now that I've been treated I'm rarely in such a state if at all. My moods and sensitivity remain largely from bipolar but the emotional place I dreaded is no longer around.

So dysthymia is worth looking into. A visit to your GP might help on this.

TonyWK

[white knight]

Google

Beyondblue topic dysthymia

TonyWK

[D Walsh]

Wow there are so many points in your post that I can directly relate to! I too get bouts of depression which seem to come out of nowhere. I’m not sad during the bouts, I just loose the ability to concentrate, think clearly, sleep properly and generally just feel like rubbish. My zest for life disappears. I’m 35 and I’ve probably had the cycle happen for often over the last 20 years. It all started around exam time at school and uni - most likely brought on from anxiety. It used to disappear a few days after exams were done but now it just turns up and can take weeks to disappear. I’m currently in a “funk” phase at the moment and it really does feel as you said, that this time it won’t go away. Even though I have the proof to show that it has 100% of previous episodes. I’m struggling with this one as it’s been going on for quite a while now and I’m getting tired and frustrated by it