Backpacking and miserable..

[liammcc1]

I’m from the U.K. I don’t know what’s wrong with me but I have been feeling so down over the last few months. If I’m down in the most beautiful place on earth, then what hope do I have?! I was travelling with a group of guys I met up the east coast from sydney and we stopped in Brisbane to do work and then carry on after. I soon realised that the group dynamic changed and that cliques began forming in our duration in Brisbane. I started to begin to feel like the group did not like me or have time for me. I was living alone for my duration in Brisbane as my job was very far out the city. Anyway, I started developing panic attacks where my arms felt tingly at night, I was going into a downward spiral. I’ve not voluntarily listened to music in months, and I’ve not been eating right. I opted out doing the rest of the east coast because I no longer felt comfortable, instead I opted to travel alone. I’ve had bad news about family back home, and the bank has told me that my credit card is overdue, everything is just happening at once. I feel like there’s only so much positivity I can have. I literally have no interest in anything and enjoy drinking to compensate. My dream has always been Australia. I have no chance of travelling the east coast as I messed up. I am exhausted from travelling and backpacking life, I feel like I should go home, but I know il hate being back. I’ve never felt like this before, and wondering what the hell is going on. I appreciate anyone’s advice.

Thanks

[PamelaR]

Hi Liammcc and warm welcome to our community

Thank you for sharing your story. It's never easy telling hey? Panic attacks can be very frightening when they happen. I have anxiety, depression and PTSD so can relate to how you feel.

I too backpacked in Europe for 8 months or more. It is very tiring and at times anxiety provoking. I suspect that there are a number of things happening for you at present - family problems at home; being in unfamiliar territory; not having anyone to share your story with; financial difficulties; feeling - alone (because you are), a failure (because you haven't travelled where you want to), guilty (not sure why). Is it any wonder your anxiety levels are up.

I take you have a working visa. How much longer do you have to go? Are you able to get more work to help pay off your credit card?

You said you're living alone. Does that mean you're not in a backpacking hostel? Are you able to move into somewhere where there are more people?

Are you able to skype with family at home so you can talk through what's happening? Or would you rather not do that? Think about seeing a GP here in Australia if you haven't already done that. Did you know that UK residents are covered by Australian Medicare for the duration of your stay?

To help with the panic attacks, have a look at the Anxiety forum, there's a thread - selp help tips for managing anxiety. Also have a browse through some of the threads or do a search.

Hope some of this helps Liammcc. You're not alone. Keep reaching out if and when you want to.

Kind regards

PamelaR