Binge Eating & Depression

[thisaquarian]

Hi everyone. I've looked through the threads before and I can never find anyone else struggling with binge eating, so I'm here to start my own, and perhaps find others who are in the same boat as me.

I've just eaten an insane amount of food.  I couldn't even tell you *what* I ate, as all I did was go from the couch to the fridge. I feel sick now, and this is not something strange for me. Binge eating has always been the way that I deal with anything... I'm now a very large person with a heap of medical issues.  Why hasn't that scared me to turn it all around?!

Depression is unfair, and it never makes sense.  However, I think that I can think of some things which may have brought the dark cloud back.  Last week at work, I was stressed and overwhelmed.  I'm in a job which I find incredibly stressful in a company I don't believe in.  Then on the weekend my partner and I had to put one of our kittens down after it was attacked by a dog.  The heat isn't helping and makes me want to just hibernate inside my house, in the air con.  I am disappointed in myself for not going to work yesterday or today. I am disappointed that I am back here.

[geoff]

dear thisaquarian, I'm sorry about your little kitten and I certainly hope that you didn't have to view this horrible siting, but if you did then that would have been absolutely terrible to see.

One thing for sure is 'depression is unfair, and it never makes sense', and I'm sure everyone still

[Chris_B]

Hi thisaquarian, I've found some threads on binge eating for you:

Depression and binge eating

Binge eating

Depression causing binge eating

Binge eating as a coping mechanism for anxiety

Never ending binge eating

At a loss - depression and binge eating

[Leo_Rose]

Hi thisaquarian. I agree, Depression is so unfair. It's this horrible blackness that cloaks your life and festers your mind. I have past experiences of binge eating when I felt low. My depression got far worse than what I am about to tell you but it did improve before I relapsed (a break up with my now ex triggered a very dark period in my life which I have since moved on from).

Like you it would be colossal amounts of food consumed over a short period of time leaving me feeling physically sick and ashamed of myself. But that wasn't enough to stop me. It would happen over and over again. Feeling sad? I'd eat. Feeling angry? I'd eat. Feeling sad and angry about the weight I gained? I'd eat. The cycle continued for years until I was sat at 95kg at the age of 27. I couldn't go on and had a moment of clarity; either change or allow this to consume and ruin me. I'm not suggesting for one minute you will read this and suddenly all will change and you'll be on the road to recovery. You won't, you'll have set backs and moments where you want to give up. But if you can allow yourself just a moment to step back and think about your choices when you reach for unnecessary food you may develop healthier habits to manage your depression.

I hope this helps you in some way. 

[Guest_1055]

Hey ScottishJen

I too have binge eating issues similar to thisaquarian or comfort eating I call it. So how did you stop this cycle in your life? Your cycle sounds pretty similar to what happens to me. I want to be free of it, I have seen it like a merry go round, and I just want to get off it for good. And never get on it again.

Shell xx

[Leo_Rose]

Hey Shell,

 I literally was about to eat a family bag of Doritos; for no reason other than being bored/sad. When I stopped myself, looked at the bag and it dawned on me that eating the bag wasn't going to help. So I put it back. I wish I could tell you that was the end of it. It wasn't. I thought about the tortilla chips all day. I went back and looked at them a few times but I just kept telling myself that this wasn't the answer. But that was only one day. It took and still does take immense will power not to relapse back - I admit I have but by no means the way I used to. 

Try to remind yourself that the high from the food is easily attained and short lived. But more importantly remind yourself that you are worth a longer and more challenging investment than a sugar high. If you can afford yourself a moment before you start eating to consider doing anything else, do it! 

 I hope this is helpful 😊😊

[Guest_1055]

Hey ScottishJen, it is helpful..... Just knowing I am not alone in this particular struggle helps me. And I do totally get what you were facing up against with the packet of doritos.

Your suggestion brought up a memory of something I read, but I wasn't disciplined to keep at it. It was like this.....you get a craving or desire to eat, or you feel so sad, you think food will make you feel better usually junk for me, or you are bored. So when this comes upon you. You drink a large glass of water. Then say to yourself......I"ll just wait 10 minutes, before I consume this chocolate, 10 minutes isn't that long. As soon as the 10 minutes are up, you look at the enemy and say nope. Then eat 1 piece of fresh fruit, wait another 10 minutes  and so on. Till eventually the desire goes away. Just replace the desires with beneficial things for your body.

I am still on this cycle though, as today I went into Woolworths and bought a Cadbury Easter bunny. Yes they are out all ready..... Bought it out of habit and boredom.

Anyway I wanted to thankyou for your encouragement.

Hugs

Shelley xx

[Leo_Rose]

Hey Shelley Anne,

 Y'know the supermarkets and bottle shops don't exactly help in these situations when chocolate, chips etc are cheaper than fruit and vegetables. And some wine - obviously nothing actually worth savouring and enjoying 😉 is cheaper by the litre than milk.

 And Easter chocolate in January? Is nothing special anymore? 

[thisaquarian]

Hi everyone 🙂 well it's been another afternoon of bingeing... and it's not until afterwards that I feel like cr*p that I realise why it happened. I feel lonely.  Other than my partner I have no one to have indepth conversations with.  I used to have a friend who I grew quite close to and she ended up betraying me... she was quite a manipulative and abusive person. I really crave having someone that I can confide in. I know that food isn't the cure for loneliness so I have cleaned the kitchen, and tidied the lounge room and I'm sitting in bed so I can't access any food.

[Guest_1055]

Hey this aquarian

Oh please don't be to hard on yourself. You are far too precious for that. I do know what it feels like to feel like crap or just plain yuk. Sometimes your body doesn't even want to move. I'm sorry you had a friend that was abusive and manipulative. You know you can always write in these BB forums, anything that is in your heart, or anything that is troubling you. Some people even go to counselors to discuss deep stuff. So please feel free to simply unload anything here if you want.

I am glad you cleaned the kitchen, sometimes  I even struggle with that.

Sending you a hug now just in case you want or need one.

Shelley xx