Hi Kiamau,
Being knocked back after reaching out for help is heartbreaking. Whatever motivated your friend's response, I feel it was insensitive. Many people fail to realize what courage it takes to open up. Well done for giving it a go. You're a legend...regardless of the outcome. I hope you feel proud of yourself.
One of the reasons why we choose to keep struggling alone is because it is often hard to find words to express disturbing emotions. We often feel confused ourselves so doubt that another person will understand. We must first try to make sense of the unthinkable ourselves before feeling we can share our deepest thoughts and emotions. We are not ready. It may take time but it shouldn't be held against us.
We also may feel that we don't have the right to burden someone else with our personal concerns. But helping each other is what a meaningful life is all about.
I agree that reaching out for support helps us heal. It is often a way to figure who will stand by us and who will run for the hills. It can be a harsh wake up call. Many people have no idea what to say or do when disaster/hard times strike another person. So they withdraw to avoid the issue.
Having felt alone from the word go, I have been very reluctant to ask for help. Children often have nowhere to turn. So I grew up thinking that I had to face alone whatever Life threw at me. The fact that those I approached later wouldn't/couldn't help made it worse. Self confidence and trust took another blow. I shut down with a vengeance.
Choosing who we confide in carefully is the way to go. But there is no guarantee even those won't be too spooked to offer support.
Some things are way too difficult to deal with alone...so we must keep trying to reach out while keeping in mind that those attempts may be rejected. Keeping expectations in check lessens disappointment. Like all else, it becomes easier with practice.
I hope this setback will not stop you trying again. The BB community is proof that understanding and compassion can be found...even though they're not as widespread as we would like. This is what makes finding support so precious and worth searching for.
Thanks Kiamau for starting this interesting thread.
