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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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JCliff My Story - talk to people about how you are feeling
  • replies: 3

I have been thinking about posting up on here for some time and have finally built up the courage to do so. I guess the only place to start is that I am 27 years old and have been suffering from depression since I was 21. I have done it all when it c... View more

I have been thinking about posting up on here for some time and have finally built up the courage to do so. I guess the only place to start is that I am 27 years old and have been suffering from depression since I was 21. I have done it all when it comes to self medicating and it wasn't until early this year that I started to actually get better and feel better. My depression stemmed from being pretty self concious about myself and my appearance to full blown hatred in everything that I saw in myself. As we know the dark pit is deep, and it is often extremely difficult to even stand up and face a morning let alone a full day. I soon became very good at acting and pretending to be happy around friends and family, when in reality I was a train wreck on the inside, waging a war against my emotions and all the things I believed in. This is when the lieing started and didn't stop until earlier this year when I attempted to take my own life. I spent the following days after it in the mental health unit trying to figure out how to get myself out of this mess that I had gotten myself into before I decided it was time to tell the truth. Not going to lie, it was extremely difficult and confronting but it has been the best thing I have done this year. I am still working on a lot with my phsycologist and currently taking anti depressants which have helped me greatly. But the reality is my honesty with my amazing girlfirend, family and friends was a huge step for me. I stopped being afraid of what they would say and finally admitted to how bad it was. I can't put into words how much I love these people and could never repay them for the help they have given me. I still find it hard sometimes but I do reccomend to talk to people about how you are feeling. It's daunting and difficult to verbalise but it could help, I know it did for me.

jam89 i need someone to talk to about not just having depression but also anxiety
  • replies: 6

hi i have never done this before, but i feel maybe someone out there could give me strategies to get through this. it all started in 2000 when my parents split i was 12 and i dont remember very much of what happened, im the youngest of 4 girls in my ... View more

hi i have never done this before, but i feel maybe someone out there could give me strategies to get through this. it all started in 2000 when my parents split i was 12 and i dont remember very much of what happened, im the youngest of 4 girls in my family, so i have been very protected by my family. and never lived my own life always was someone that helped everyone else and never put myself first.and i left school in year 10 no idea what i wanted to do. so starting trying to find a job which was is hard when u have no experience one of my sisters got me a job in a cafe. so i did that. and then worked somewhere else in another cafe for 2 years. but i wanted to help people so i thought i would like to maybe be nurse. so i did a certificate of assistant in nursing and got a scholarship to do my diploma in enrolled nursing. im currently working in a hospital for 3 years now as an enrolled nurse. and currently studying my bachelor of nursing. but i have started having depression about 4 or 5 years ago and been on antidepressants for about the same time. it did its job for awhile but especially in the last year or so. my older sister who is 5 years old than me has been drinking to cope with her marriage and depression she has for years.and the drinking involves my 17 month old nephew aswell. and my relationship with my sister has really gone down hill. but i seem to take on other people in my families problem and feel there my problems. i have started to get anxiety aswell. which i seem to get worse now with. i feel im at a loss and cant cope sometimes. just not sure what i can do. but i have been seeing my gp and a psychologist and psychtrist this year. any strategies would help. or just someone to listen that understands what iam going through?

Suzbj To All the People Who Have Posted
  • replies: 8

Hi everyone, I would just like to say that, to me, the common theme through this site is the sense of worthlessness and having no value that screams the loudest in people's experiences. A few weeks ago I felt the same way. I don't anymore. It is gett... View more

Hi everyone, I would just like to say that, to me, the common theme through this site is the sense of worthlessness and having no value that screams the loudest in people's experiences. A few weeks ago I felt the same way. I don't anymore. It is getting much better for me although I know I will have 'episodes' again. But they are getting less and less. Kind of 'three steps forward - two steps back'. You ALL are so worthy and so valuable and so very important! I wish there was a way I could communicate that to you that you could believe it and take it on board! I know that everyone has their experience and it is a journey for all of us. For me, understanding that 'others', be it family, friends, doctors, psychologists, the person in the shopping centre, can't possibly 'get' depression and anxiety. Not clinical or the real deal chronic depression. I also began to realise that when I am feeling fine and confident, I really don't care what other people think of me. When depression hits, I am devastated by even a 'look from a stranger' be it real or imagined. I'm beginning to get that it is not so much what other people think about me as what I THINK OF ME! It's ME that has to be HAPPY WITH ME, first and foremost. I'm also learning to live in the NOW. Not the past, not the future (except in practical terms). Living in the 'now' I guess is mindfulness. I remember up to five years old how happy I was. I was always in the NOW as children are when life is well. They don't hold onto the past; they don't fear the future, they live in the moment. There is a lesson in that for all of us, whether we have depression or not. One day at a time, one moment at a time, one pause at a time. Pause, just for a few seconds and notice a beautiful blue sky, a bird, a tree - a computer or latest tablet, I Phone, if that is what is special to you. Just pause and find the moment of gratitude that you identify with. I am so happy to be on this site and I wish all of you recovery, happiness and peace

Bepo78 I have Depression
  • replies: 1

Hi, I hope you are all getting through this Saturday evening ok. I just wanted to let everyone I don't know know that it's official... I have Depression. May sound stupid, but I actually only realised last night, when I went searching on the Internet... View more

Hi, I hope you are all getting through this Saturday evening ok. I just wanted to let everyone I don't know know that it's official... I have Depression. May sound stupid, but I actually only realised last night, when I went searching on the Internet to deal with Christmas blues. I found this site, and all of you, and through reading your stories, telling my own, and some teary soul searching into the wee hours, I finally realised that it was more than just "the potential to get Depressed" which was what I thought for a very long time. While my health practitioners probably know it, and my medication, is probably a pretty sure sign, I always stupidly believed I was on a purely preventative path... I now know this is not the case. Strangely enough, this realisation actually has given me some peace, in a way it's kind of nice to know that the freak I think I am may only actually be temporary and gives me renewed focus to find solutions. Instead of feeling distraught that I'll be this sad sack forever and probably live to 100 just to be punished, I now feel like if I can do all the things recommended I may have a shot at being confident and happy again. Anyway, just wanted to let you know you've helped me a great deal already. Thanks xo

Peace01 My Story
  • replies: 3

I am 54 years of age and have been suffering from depression since I was 14. I didn't know I was until I broke down a few years ago. The diagnosis of "Clinical Depression" sent me into a deeper black hole. When I shared this with my husband his respo... View more

I am 54 years of age and have been suffering from depression since I was 14. I didn't know I was until I broke down a few years ago. The diagnosis of "Clinical Depression" sent me into a deeper black hole. When I shared this with my husband his response was "thousand of women do what you do and they cope". I hated him in that moment. To be fair to him he didn't know of my childhood history at that time. However, during counselling, when our marriage broke down, my abuse came out and he then proceeded to use that as the reason our marriage wasn't working. I guess my depression took its toll on the marriage but the fact that my husband was controlling and manipulating took a bigger toll. Combine all this and the "little black dog" grew into a huge black dog. I am thankful for the counselling I received during that time as it made me realise where my depression initiated, from my childhood. My self harm, extreme emotional ups and downs led to an emotional break down at 14. A short hospital stay and then taken from school and the issue was never raised again. My family were aware of one abuse incident when I was 6 or 7 but they didn't know about the other times. The thoughts of suicide have been, are there still, but with the help of a couple of special friends I get through. The counsellor I had told me she didn't believe in depression and that it was something that could be fixed. That may be right for some people but I don't think that is true in my case. Medication helps but that only gets me through the day so I can cope with my job and everyday life. I fear I have been this way too long. I feel broken, different and I still ask the question what did I do that made those people pick me, did I come across as weak, even as a child? Oh, I have heard it all before, it's not my fault. I have a hard time believing that, surely I was doing something that attracted their attention. As an adult I know it wasn't my fault but the child still comes through and the doubts come back afresh. My God, I am rambling, sorry, first time bringing this to a public forum and am running on nervous energy. My family, 3 sons, know I suffer from this thing called depression but they don't know how deep it runs or why it is there. Not sure I do either. I can't talk to them about this. Somehow that would make me feel less than I am. I think I will stop the rambling for now. If anyone has been reading thank you for your silent listening.

coolbanana Old black dog back.
  • replies: 2

Hi all, i am new here. My story is probably familiar too many of you. 20 something yrs ago i was diagnosed as clinically depressed. On and off taking my s.r.i. (Read ....feeling better so i am not sick anymore and don't need the pills.) for the next ... View more

Hi all, i am new here. My story is probably familiar too many of you. 20 something yrs ago i was diagnosed as clinically depressed. On and off taking my s.r.i. (Read ....feeling better so i am not sick anymore and don't need the pills.) for the next 15 yrs. finally got it into my head that i gotta take them, regardless. i think i have worked out the why of what went wrong. i lived for so much of my youth in a fight or flight mode. Living out there means that eventually , one or two things happens. 1 adrenaline overload leads you too be an adrenalin junkie, so you go looking for something bigger, scarier, more dangerous, to get that level of adrenalin back. 2 seratonin level drops off. When this happens there are again a couple of ways this could go. a. You stop producing seratonin, so you need to eat bananas or take seratonin doses b. Your brain absorbs seratonin at such a fast rate that it doesnt do what it should, thus the s.r.i.'s i am on i chose anger, alcohol and attack. ( the best defence is offence right? ) anyway this week the dog returned. No one particular reason. It just came. I know there were a few contributing things, but the trigger? No idea right now. Couldnt face work after midday thursday. Woke up friday with no will to get out of bed. Had a relatively stress free day and am on the way back today. This is almost a record for me, it usually takes over a week. But with the understanding and support of my supervisors, my wife and my doctor, well we just wait and see. one thing that i noticed tho was the sense of relief and release by telling my boss what was happening in my head, before the acting out became intolerable. I guess that doing that has avoided the blame game and the anger attacks and then later the self castigation as well as the damage to professional and personal relationships. thanks for reading, and giving me a place and some space. Don't pretend tough, it's ok to not be ok.

JD1000 "It's just a mood"
  • replies: 2

I continuously get told depression isn't a serious illness get told it's just a mood or it's just a bad day, well for someone struggling as much as I already am, it's very hard to then here that it is just me being silly because it's "not a real illn... View more

I continuously get told depression isn't a serious illness get told it's just a mood or it's just a bad day, well for someone struggling as much as I already am, it's very hard to then here that it is just me being silly because it's "not a real illness" I don't know how to deal with people telling me this, because I try hard enough to hide that I suffer as it is so even letting them know I have it is hard on its own but then to feel like they don't understand and they don't I just can't cope with it. For two years I've been battling with depression, anxiety and PTSD, along with other stuff and recently I have lapsed with self harm, when trying to tell myself I'd get there one day at a time on social media I got "depression isn't an illness" I guess if you haven't gone through it you really are oblivious to how bad it can be. I am trying my hardest and sometimes people just make it harder with their arrogance, I have done a massive backflip since hearing it's not an illness and it's really hard to get out of headspaces. How do you cope when no body recognises that it's not just a bad day/week, how do you cope when people make you feel worse? How do you cope with people from day to day without lying about it or just trying to hide it? I don't want to hide it anymore I don't want to feel worse because of telling someone though. And I don't want to go through the pain of feeling like I'm pathetic because my mind won't let me think anything else when people tell you to grow up and get over it even though I know it's not that simple. How do you deal with this?

cazza been depreesed for so long dont know what to do
  • replies: 6

I have been depressed for some time now I don't feel like its ever going to get better it all started when I lost my job but now I don't know what to do I am really having a hard time I have so much going on I am going though a had break up I support... View more

I have been depressed for some time now I don't feel like its ever going to get better it all started when I lost my job but now I don't know what to do I am really having a hard time I have so much going on I am going though a had break up I supported the family for 22 years and now it all feels like it was for nothing just when I needed a little bit of help my partner leaves me I have been awake all night just trying to think what to do next my ex is making life hard now we have to sell the house and now I am lost all my hard work to keep the family together but all the fighting over our son just got to much my son is doing better without his dad but I am finding it hard to do anything I just want my son to have a nice future and that is hard when I feel so worthless I feel like they would b better off with out me I don't want to bring them down but some days its so hard to pretend that I am ok when I am not I am on meds but they don't seem to b doing anything at all, but I know I have to try and stay strong for my son I am just lost at the moment

Sambo Alcohol and depression
  • replies: 4

I am 20 years old and have been diagnosed with depression for over a year now. Sometimes when ive had a bad day i feel the need to have a drink, (i know this is bad) but in my head it makes me feel more normal. I just want to know how may people on h... View more

I am 20 years old and have been diagnosed with depression for over a year now. Sometimes when ive had a bad day i feel the need to have a drink, (i know this is bad) but in my head it makes me feel more normal. I just want to know how may people on here feel as if they also need a drink to feel this way because of their quiet or shy nature. Thanks P.s this is one of those days:/

Mares73 Can't "act" normal anymore -breakdown
  • replies: 3

Hi again Thankyou to all of the kind caring people who respond to me. Jos your response about not thinking ahead and just trying to get through the day calmed me down.Today I woke up and my husband had told me that all the research I was doing was no... View more

Hi again Thankyou to all of the kind caring people who respond to me. Jos your response about not thinking ahead and just trying to get through the day calmed me down.Today I woke up and my husband had told me that all the research I was doing was not what he wanted and he only wanted one page summaries. I felt upset, I felt stupid and then I felt that he hadn't e planned this clearly when we initially spoke about it.So he goes off to work thinking ill probably get it done "the right" way today. Then my children get up for school and I have no energy or ability to make lunches etc so was going to let them stay home.Usually they would love that-but today they got themselves ready and left, angry that I'd given them money for lunch instead of me personally making it. Petty things in the scheme of life. But I sat down and felt completely overwhelmed and unable to function or do anything.There is still so much mail & washing etc & all the things I'd usually do -today I just closed the blinds and cried and felt like I can't live with this struggle anymore. My husband says it stresses him out & he worries his leukaemia will come back, he just finds it frustrating. I sent him a msg saying "I need to tell you that I'm not well, I feel close to breakdown, I can't function and I'd probably go to hospital if I could". Haven't heard from him.I'm disillusioned that I'm defined as "treatment resistant" and been on so many medications. I was upset when I applied for a online self help short course by Mindspot and a psychologist phoned me and said my scores were too high and I needed to see somone rather than do a course (despite the fact I do see a psychiatrist).And yesterday I had applied for a research program at CRUFAD where half of the participants were to read a self-help book and the other half were to do a self-help online course. The aim was to determine whether a book or a course was more effective. Nowhere on the application did it mention medication.So a researcher phones me and says my application is suitable and we just need to do a half hour chat on phone to discuss further details-so we do this-and then at the end when she's told me I'm successful-she says "oh one final question, are you on any medications?" -so I tell her yes, an antidepressant and then before I get out the word "an antipsychotic"-she interrupts me, quite distressed and says "oh I'm sorry I should of asked you that first-we can't proceed any further with your application"!!.I said to her nowhere did it state that taking medication was an issue, there was no question as to whether I took medication and why wait to the end of the interview to ask me if its a crucial factor in determining who is eligible? I also said to her that reading a self-help book or doing a short online course should not be affected by ruling out people who take medication.The book or the course could be beneficial to many people with depression and many people are on medication so I couldn't see how taking medication related to or impacted upon a participants involvement.Anyway that felt like another rejection. In the last two weeks I've isolated myself in the house I have done a lot of research on self-help program's etc. trying to help myself. I read a lot about a type called ACT-it's an acceptance approach to mental illness, depression in particular and seems to involve accepting ones illness rather than struggling against it and then committing ti changing the things you can.It's based on "Mindfulness" and seems to have strong elements of Buddhist theory informing it. I now need to try find a therapist in Sydney. This has been my biggest hurdle-finding a good mental health practitioner.I only have my pyschiatrist who does not provide therapy but simply asks each time I see here what's been happening in life in general and then discusses scripts and medication. I've been seeing her for 6 years-my fault really for not having the courage to try a different one.I only see her every few months and the state I'm in I really need intensive support so I guess I should do something useful today and at least look into therapists.I feel immobilised by depression; I feel as though a monster has invaded my mind and taken over my thoughts and ability to function effectively. I feel so so low. I can't face the world, I feel I can't even leave the house or answer phone calls.I've worn the same clothes all week and can't believe how difficult I'm finding it to do anything. I'm also frightened by my thoughts and the feeling that I've lost control over them.I'm extremely anxious around my husband and kids as I know my husband is so frustrated and feels pressured to manage his job and then come home to find I've forgotten to organise anything for dinner; there are 3 baskets of washing that have stayed downstairs all week when I should of folded the clothes and put them away.He can also see the mounting pile of papers and mail and has said he has had enough of things being difficult and wants an easier life. I feel so so guilty about this as he has survived leukaemia and should be having a good life-not affected by my depression and my inability at times to do all the housework and cooking etc.I feel I am a hopeless case, I am consumed by guilt and fear. I hate myself so much. I used to be the strongest person. I've endured so much trauma in my life. And now I am a barely functioning person who is full of regret, despair, self hate as well as guilt and terror at the thought of how I will manage each day.I can't let my family down, I hate my current weakness, I dread what they must think of me. I just want to be able to do simple things like make the house nice, cook meals, organise events, get dressed each day, feel I'm managing responsibilities and making my family happy. But if today is any indication I'm failing at everything.I have the care and will to achieve things but I don't have the ability to do them as I'm immobilised, tears, scared and unable to almost move. It's like I really have been overtaken by a dark spirit who has taken all my strength and left me sitting immobilised in a chair where I can't move or do anything but cry and feel such deep shame and hopelessness.Where have I gone? Will I come back? I can't stand to live like this, it makes me feel as though ill become a burden and my family would be best without me. Just a very dark day and I'm so ashamed my husband sees me like this.Please I beg that I will come back and feel able to live and contribute to my family's happiness and take control of things again. I hate what I am today. So sorry...was desperate for someone to listen and maybe say something that might help.You are all my hope. M x

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