LIFE

[Chris D]

I sit on my bed listening to a cd, i think about life and all the emotions and experiences people have during their own lives. We have ups and downs we get pulled sideways downwards and upwards but in the end we always come back to the same spot the middle. I think of how people can be nice, caring friends and people in general and yet these same people can also be qiute the opposite. I had that experience yesterday with one of my friends. I was helping clean a friends house with her and then at approx 6.30pm we had a disagreement which then quickly turned into an argument. We have friends come and go throughout our lives, we have different homes we live in and different cars but their is one thing that we cannot replace and should not replace that being our own immediate families. We have our sibling squabbles, i certainly did with my sisters me being the youngest and only boy. I got up to mischief, followed dad up the ladder to the roof of the house and sat on the gutter with him when i was about 5, so of course mum took a picture of my dad and i sitting on the gutter with our legs dangling over the edge.

After it would stop raining we would go outside and get a pile of muddie gravel and dirt mix together and throw it at eachother mum would then come out and say " go on you 3 to laundry now" she would put us in these 3 trash cans each on of them full of water to clean us off.

I have just notice that the words in this thread haven't come out as the way i had hoped oh well.

Everyone has the strength to get throught their own personal battles nomatter how hard the battles seem, we will all get them sorted in the end. We all come from different backgrounds, different life experiences growing up and yet we all have a common interest that is to believe, support, have faith in eachother, inspire and encourage everyone on this forum to overcome each of our own battles that we are currently facing. I believe and have faith in all of you, you just have to find that inner strength inside you then you start to overcome your own personal issues.

We all converge here on BB, we have all come in from our own paths which have led us  to Beyond Blue to express how we are feeling, our past expriences and to help.

As i read over this thread i feel good but at the same time i feel down, i feel lonely, empty like something is missing inside. I don't know what is missing maybe because i'm not in a relationship. I don't know. I feel like this most days these days. It's weird to have 2 completely different feelings at the same time.

If anyone replies can you send a hug please.

Kind Regards

Chris

[Lillybell]

Such a lovely post Chris. It made me think of my childhood memories too. It wasn't sitting on roofs though, it was throwing stones on them and running away! That's what my siblings and I did for fun in those days. That was life in a small country town trying to find some fun on a Saturday night. Silly bunch we were! I can remember driving with my Dad to the dump just about every Sunday morning. It was nothing like the things kids get to do today, but for me it was a special time. The radio would be playing and I would sit next to Dad and all would be well with the world. We'd pull up, dump the rubbish and then come back home again. I'm not sure why it is such a special memory for me. I can also remember my Mum singing while she hung the clothes on the line. Again it is a simple memory but it feels good when I think about it,. There were also some bad memories too, but like you've said we swing between the two and are able to accept the contradictory positions. And I too, have those moments of feeling empty and finding that something is missing. It is those times I'd like to get in the car and drive through the bush just like those times with my Dad. Sending you a big hug.

[Chris D]

Hi LB,

Hope you don't me calling you that. I feel sad, down even though i shouldn't i do. I feel like this most of each day. I wish something or someone could help cheer me up. I'm not having suicidal thoughts, just feel like something is missing and until i can fill that hole i think i will be feeling just ok. I want to help people so much and they have told me that i do but i still get the feeling that i can give more assistance to people. I feel exhausted, tired lacking energy.

Kind Regards

Chris