Depression

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Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

Chris_B Are you looking to support someone else with depression? PLEASE READ before posting
  • replies: 0

This forum is for people seeking support for their own mental health issues. If you're posting on behalf of someone else with a mental health issue that you're concerned about, please have a look at this section of our forums: Supporting family and f... View more

This forum is for people seeking support for their own mental health issues. If you're posting on behalf of someone else with a mental health issue that you're concerned about, please have a look at this section of our forums: Supporting family and friends with a mental health condition It's full of threads from people who have family members and friends going through anxiety, depression or other related conditions. Have a read through the threads there, and feel free to take part in the discussions. Below are also some helpful beyondblue resources you might want to look through first as well: Supporting someone Have the conversation

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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Nirvana2013 ADHD & Depression
  • replies: 4

Hello all,I'm new to the site I have suffered depression since I can remember at least back when I was at pre-school I am now 48 yo I am also ADHD which was diagnosed 18 months ago ( to my relief ) giving me some understanding as to what was wrong wi... View more

Hello all,I'm new to the site I have suffered depression since I can remember at least back when I was at pre-school I am now 48 yo I am also ADHD which was diagnosed 18 months ago ( to my relief ) giving me some understanding as to what was wrong with me I have a good job a couple of very close good friends & 2 gorgeous teenage boys who are my world & whom I frustrate like crazy & sometimes think they would be better off without me (though I know this is not true) it is a constant struggle to keep tricking the mind to think positive & stay on top of things. As I have not been on medication for depression for the last 5 years I'm wondering is it possible & do others battle on without medication? Any advise will be kindly appreciated.

aimstar Where to find hope?
  • replies: 2

Where do I find hope? I just can't believe I will get the things I desire from life. I try so hard to be a good person, and I've had a heap of shit chucked my way. I just can't seem to find the belief that everything will turn out ok. It just all see... View more

Where do I find hope? I just can't believe I will get the things I desire from life. I try so hard to be a good person, and I've had a heap of shit chucked my way. I just can't seem to find the belief that everything will turn out ok. It just all seems dull, dreary, a grey road to nowhere. I'm alone and need a huge hug right now.

Miss_K Preeeety over feeling cray-cray
  • replies: 7

I guess I just want to vent without anyone knowing who I am so here it goes! I'm currently sitting at my work desk at my full time job writing bits and pieces here in between answering calls and emails. I actually don't mind my job, but I'm faced wit... View more

I guess I just want to vent without anyone knowing who I am so here it goes! I'm currently sitting at my work desk at my full time job writing bits and pieces here in between answering calls and emails. I actually don't mind my job, but I'm faced with negativity every day. Essentially my job is to actually try to motivate people myself...and I do pretty well for the most part - I feel that sometimes though I wish I could listen to my own advice. I mean, if I'm telling these people to essentially suck it up and keep moving (not in those words of course, haha), why can't I do it? I've been suffering from depression...or anxiety...or manic...god knows what (nobody can figure me out) since I was about 17, and I'll be 27 this year. I think the reason it's hard to diagnose me is because can be so internal (and a GP talking to me for 20 minutes is definitely not going to have any good grasp on my personality). On the outside I'm almost completely capable of living a normal life - I go to work every day, I'm extremely physically fit, healthy and live a lifestyle that I think that a lot of people would envy. I'm very very lucky and find that when I set my heart onto something, I can achieve it, or the answer comes to me... the only problem is no matter where I am in life, no matter what opportunity presents itself to me, no matter what achievement I've made; I always, always feel horrible and empty and useless on the inside. Inside my head is a constant barrage of stupid crazy thoughts, negative self speak, frustrated feelings...sometimes no thoughts at all... it's just incredibly frustrating and I feel like there is nothing I can do. It's gotten to the point where now I'm not just in a 'low' mood. Now days I snap, I get angry at the people closest to me, and at the smallest things. I'm up and down and all over the joint...and just when I think I might actually be some kind of normal for a week or two - boom. I'll end up in some psychotic crying, helpless feeling state where I'll just cry and cry and want to scream...and I don't know why. I don't think I actually have a trigger. It just happens, much to the dismay of my poor long term partner who I don't think ever would have imagined that his gf was quite so mad...and here is me starting to realise the way I'm making him feel...I feel like he's starting to wonder if this will ever end, if I'll ever get better, if there's anything he can do, etc etc...and to be honest I don't really think there is anything he can do. I'm just thankful for the hugs and patience... I really am starting to feel guilty about what I'm doing to him though. He's a tough boy - a pure strong and confident alpha male...and I've made him cry on multiple occasions, because I've made him feel helpless. I hate, hate, hate that I've made him feel that way. I've been to various doctors, Councillors, pychs, etc - but I guess I haven't been able to stick with any particular one for very long. I've found an issue with finances - even though the government does pay for some of the fees for help...I'm left to cover the rest (some bill charge I don't understand), and right now while my life and the life of my partners is changing (we are currently building a business together because neither of us like the idea of working under a corporation making money for someone elses dreams, haha) I just can't afford to look after my damn brain.... Even whilst being in the psych chair though I've felt that I wasn't really getting a lot of help. Like I said, I look and seem like I'm okay. I've been told more than once that they've actually been suprised that I should be sad at all. I want to beat my head on a wall when they say that because it's really, really hard for me to actually say what I'm thinking out loud and to try to make them understand how I really feel. I can't ever really get my thoughts into a clear enough line to be able to tell people what I'm actually thinking or feeling... With my friends I feel like I should just spare them the pain of knowing my brain-thoughts, so I don't really bother talking about it and cover everything with humour. Some of them know, but I don't think anyone except for my partner actually know how messy it really is up in here. I guess I just wish I could figure out what to do. I do all the right things...I look after myself, I work out, I try to sleep properly, I try to work toward the future, I eat really, really well, I set goals, I surround myself with motivated, loving humans... it's just... I always feel like I have a knot in my heart and a terrible emptiness. I feel disconnected. I can't remember what it feels like to be truly happy and it just kills me inside knowing that.I wish I could just wake up in the morning and bounce out of bed with happiness and confidence... I've already pre-empted that I'm going to immediately regret this post the second I hit that little pink button because I know I hate people knowing what I think -even if they don't know who I am, I hate the judgement...but screw it, I guess I'll have to deal with that one later. lol. /rant for now. And I'm sorry if you read all of that, hahaha.

MisssEz NEW & alone 😞
  • replies: 2

Hi, i'm NEW to this, not to sure how I'm going to try putting my feelings, thoughts in words, but here goes! I've been surfing from postnatal-anxiety & depression since the birth of my daughter 2yrs ago. I don't know what happen but something just cl... View more

Hi, i'm NEW to this, not to sure how I'm going to try putting my feelings, thoughts in words, but here goes! I've been surfing from postnatal-anxiety & depression since the birth of my daughter 2yrs ago. I don't know what happen but something just clicked in me. I've been trying SO many different Meds, highest doses ect, & nothing seems to be working, I have been to talk to professional & well that just made things worst really, pretty much getting down to the core of when, why I feel this way, which I already know this, breathing tequniques to help with anxiety attacks. Nothing is working for me, & getting tired going back to a GP trying new meds, doses! It's exhausting & $$$, getting nowhere. Hard enough talking to people who dont know you & trying to explain to them how im feeling!!! I've now turned to drinking alcohol as its the ONLY thing that is making me happy ATM, putting me into a good mood & not a worry. But I know this isn't right! My partner believes his supportive of me, but his not all the time, everything ends in a fight & his nasty name calling towards me, when I can't help my moods, thoughts & feelings, Everthing is affecting my relationship, me being the best mother possible to my daughter. And I'm just so sad & confused what to do!

LKate No Motivation
  • replies: 2

Hi, I just wanted to ask for some advice. I currently suffer from Anxiety and Depression, I'm medicated, and I see a psychiatrist every four weeks. I work in an office a day and a half a week, and go to uni four days a week. (one day is spent half at... View more

Hi, I just wanted to ask for some advice. I currently suffer from Anxiety and Depression, I'm medicated, and I see a psychiatrist every four weeks. I work in an office a day and a half a week, and go to uni four days a week. (one day is spent half at work and half at uni). Currently I have no motivation whatsoever. I get out of bed (barely), shower, leave, spend the day in lectures/at my desk, then go home, spend some time with friends and go to sleep. Every day feels the same. I'm not completing my uni work, and each day I spend mostly down as I just don't want to be either at uni or at work. Theres nothing that I'm really aiming for, I have no goals, and I can't seem to find anything that I actually want to do in life. Can anyone give me some ideas to help with finding something I actually enjoy, or something to help me actually complete stuff? There's a possibility I'm going to fail one of my units because I don't have the motivation to do an assignment. Thanks

mate23 me today
  • replies: 4

i am 16 and a student studying in year 10 I don't know if i have depression or anxiety or if its just all in my head, but today when i woke up i didn't want to go to school or anything but that's what most teenagers feel like. But today i felt really... View more

i am 16 and a student studying in year 10 I don't know if i have depression or anxiety or if its just all in my head, but today when i woke up i didn't want to go to school or anything but that's what most teenagers feel like. But today i felt really sad and irritated by everyone that talked to me all i wanted to was to be alone. I got my results for two of my exams and i failed both of it. yesterday was my Athletics Carnival the whole day i felt like i try too much but then when i don't get the result that i want I felt i wasn't good enough. i honestly believe that i over think things, the smallest mistakes and i feel like burdened by it so much. I really want to talk to my school Councillor or any one but i am scared to tell any one because they might think that i am just "attention seeking." I just want to know if i have depression or anxiety or if this is just all in my head. p.s this isn't the first time i have experience this.

audreysquinta here i go again
  • replies: 3

I have been managing my depression for two years with medication and have started to feel the vale coming over me again. At the moment I am dealing with a teenage son who is testing both mine and my husbands limits. My husband is blaming me for my so... View more

I have been managing my depression for two years with medication and have started to feel the vale coming over me again. At the moment I am dealing with a teenage son who is testing both mine and my husbands limits. My husband is blaming me for my sons behavior and isn't talking to me. I know this feeling very well, this feeling of sadness and hopelessness I thought I could fight my depression without medication before but I ended up on suicide watch before I knew that I needed help. Now I am on the medication and this feeling is starting to take hold of me again I am not sure what to do.

246_bloke The feeling of the unknown..
  • replies: 3

Hi Everyone, I really hope that this thread conveys how I truly feel. I have been with my wife now for going on 9 yrs and for the past 1 and a half/2 years I have known about my wife's depression. The focus of her depression and the source seems to b... View more

Hi Everyone, I really hope that this thread conveys how I truly feel. I have been with my wife now for going on 9 yrs and for the past 1 and a half/2 years I have known about my wife's depression. The focus of her depression and the source seems to be my family. She is incredibly angry with my family about things that they have done towards her, and she can't understand that I'm not as angry as her. She doesn't understand why I'm not yelling at them for how they made her feel. I don't know how to be. I'm just confused because I'm the type of person who can forgive... She was on medication but no matter how hard I tried I couldn't get her to stay on them, she thought she was better... So did I, very naive. She is in a dark place and now that anger and hurt is aimed at me.. I have gotten her family involved but that has upset her more because she feels like I'm hand balling her to them. But I just need help, I feel damned if I do and damned if I don't. I have told my family what they have done and they just apologize. I want to forgive and move on with life but I just feel broken that this sickness isn't letting her. We are just treading water. She cannot speak to my family, so they can't apologize to her.. She is refusing help, and because I haven't reacted in a way that pleases her she is angry with me and says there is no hope for us. I love her more than anything and I know that the things she has been saying is not the real her. I just don't know what to do cause I feel guilty now that I can't deal with it. Today was the first day I spent a few hours on my own. She was with her family and so I took a few hours to compose myself and try comprehend the next step, but she is angrier at me as she feels I abandoned her.. Just needed to write these things down... I hope this hasn't come across as anger, cause I'm not angry. I just can't handle this feeling of the unknown and seeing her in pain. Thank you for reading... and I cannot thank beyond blue enough for having made this forum available... Im just a bloke, confused and sad for my wife.

LostNConfused Trapped by my inability to do anything
  • replies: 3

Hi, I've tried many times to change my life (at least I think I have), but I feel like I'm at my wits end. Years ago when I started high school, I met someone who was always on their own. I went to a catholic school so i thought "everyone should have... View more

Hi, I've tried many times to change my life (at least I think I have), but I feel like I'm at my wits end. Years ago when I started high school, I met someone who was always on their own. I went to a catholic school so i thought "everyone should have a friend" and that it was the right thing to do, So i went and started talking to him, I tried to encourage him to talk more and he became a member of my small circle of friends. He eventually started to hate or just didn't want me around - hard to say I blame him, I was talkative and sometimes annoying. But he never told me anything, instead one day when we were playing a game online, he just started insulting me with some of his other online friends and started avoiding me and turned my small circle of friends against me. I never understood why for several years, mainly because he never told me why. To me it was all so sudden, I tried talking to other people in my year (just as friends - not mentioning anything uncomfortable) - and I noticed sometimes pissed those people off as well - unintentionally, so I tried to be more careful of that. People were really immature in high school, and I didn't understand why, I thought that was for kids in primary. But I changed for him, I changed into someone who did not care too much, I went from someone who was really introverted to someone who was extroverted. I let all the insults and jokes that he made to me go and just laughed it off. What started as my mask to hide my true feelings eventually became my face, I no longer remembered that it was just a mask and not who i was. Years passed and that friend and I had our ups and downs, but I still thought we were friends. One night I apparently embarrassed him in front of other people (once again unintentionally - I seem to do that a lot). so he started avoiding me again and once again I didn't know why. lost and confused like always. I was kinda interested in this girl during high school, but knew I had no chance, so me being the crazy outgoing guy I was, came up with the idea to ask her out and get rejected and then not care, I was so emotionally high that I believed I could just walk it off like nothing happened. But I was wrong, I was hurt. When I woke up the next day I felt like I was detached from reality, that I wasn't actually there with the people around me, but was just watching a movie through my eyes instead of a screen. I tried having normal conversations with the people around me, but it didn't change anything. I didn't know what I was going through. I was forever changed, I noticed I began to have inner monologue (I started thinking again - LOL - for years I just did things without thinking). I also noticed the crumbling relationships around me. I tried fixing them, but it soon became apparent that it was too late to fix the damaged relationships that I had ruined. I started to think that if I found the core root of my problem and addressed it, I could escape this confused state. I realized that I....was unable to maintain friendships with anyone, and I had a 100% fail rate. This realization destroyed what little mental strength I had left - and became severely depressed. That was years ago, that was the start of my 5 yr battle with depression. I eventually got to a point where I was no longer the immature kid I was in high school, I became the person I truly was all those years ago, I became kind and caring, but with the confidence I had in high school, things were looking up, got a job, finished uni.. I even fell in love - or so I thought... With the realization that it was a one sided relationship, I was hurt, but accepted it. However I began looking at my life again and saw nothing in it worth living for. No one I cared about, No one I thought cared about me, I felt so utterly alone and lost. after 3 months of agonizing pain, emotionally and from my heart break, I could not stand it anymore and tried to kill myself. Unfortunately I survived, and things have gone from bad to worse, friends can no longer deal with me. my best friend told me straight not to contact him anymore, I felt even more alone. Now, I know I need to make new friends, I need to be more active etc, but I lack the strength? direction to do anything...all i do is stay at home alone, suffering from my own inability to do anything. I've become so pathetic, but it's hard to keep trying when every friend you've ever known has abandoned you in one way or another. my circle of trust just gets smaller and smaller, making it all harder and harder. I do see psychs/take meds but it's all just stale. I...guess this is my way of making a first step in changing, I lack the strength to face people yet, but I want to get involved in more social groups, some community thing anything. I can't keep going on like this. But am so weak I don't have the strength or direction. So tell me what can I do......I can't seem to find things on my own..

Jaso69 Tired
  • replies: 3

First off I'm sorry for being and sounding like a downer and a pathetic sympathy seeking melodramatic loser. But i have to vomit my crap somewhere. I have always been philosophical about things and tried to help others by relating my experiences with... View more

First off I'm sorry for being and sounding like a downer and a pathetic sympathy seeking melodramatic loser. But i have to vomit my crap somewhere. I have always been philosophical about things and tried to help others by relating my experiences with what others are going through. It seemed to help them. I know I have had the love of others but I always push it away. Some times knowingly sometimes not. A lot of times not realising the love I have had and felt from others was self serving for them and not about me. Like they had had a bad time and I'd show them "hey not everyone is an asshole. Thanks for that. See you later." Some meant for me but now to late to have back. Just pushed away by self loathing and undeserved of it I felt from it " why love me ill only hurt you or you me". Trying to fit my life experience in a few words is hard. Ive always said to myself no matter what I go through there's someone else out there who is suffering worse. So suck it up. Right now with things I've done and things that have happened to me, that doesn't wash with me anymore. I liken myself and the people I've had there for me in my life to a tyre. I'm the rim and they are the tyre. Spinning around in circles. When I realise what a mess I have made I finally stop I look back at the skid marks I've left on the road that is my life. I try to pick up the rubber I have left on the road. There are big pieces and small pieces. I try to gather them up and put them back on my tyre "life" but they just fall through my fingers and blow away in the wind never to be seen again. I know what and why I do things but they still happen. Testing and pushing love to the edge. Always too far. Because I feel I don't deserve it or its not as real for them as it is for me. Only realising the truth when it's too late. Things I hear or have heard or never heard from those I love. My mother and father never said "I love you" I've said it many times to them. Both were alcoholics and abusive. My farther regularly bashed my mum weekly while they were together until I was 17. He left her for someone else then. She's been dead for a few years now and he wants nothing to do with me saying I have a new family now. Haven't seen him since 1988. Not from want of trying. The latest was from the woman I love a few months ago was "I'm trying to move forward and being around you is taking steps backwards." Shes now back with her controlling ex. Even people who commit crimes like murder and rape get visitors and people who care about them and understanding and forgiveness. Why don't I.