Depression

Depression affects people in Australia every day. Share your own story and learn about other member’s experiences with depression.

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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
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Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
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I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
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Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

All discussions

Joanne17 I don't understand my journey!
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HiI have been diagnosed previously with depression, that was 10 years ago, but then a couple of years ago the doctor amended it to Anxiety. However I was trying to explain to my partner what it feels like, as he is struggling with my mood swings and ... View more

HiI have been diagnosed previously with depression, that was 10 years ago, but then a couple of years ago the doctor amended it to Anxiety. However I was trying to explain to my partner what it feels like, as he is struggling with my mood swings and dealing with me. He often asks me which person he is talking to today, so he can prepare himself. I am a mother of two children and I am struggling to control these swings and I feel terrible about it. I was unable to tell him verbally what it is like and so I wrote it down... "I do not understand myself.Most times it is like traveling on a well maintained path weaving its way steadily through a plain landscape, nothing special, and nothing surprising, covered with yellow wheat and the occasional brightly coloured blossom to brighten the scenery or misplaced rock that I stumble over.Then all of a sudden the path lunges in one of two directions. One direction is alive in hyper-colour excitement. All of a sudden I am on top of a mountain looking over the world and there is nothing but good things to look forward to. The pace is fast, the music mesmerising and energetic. Inspiration for fun and exciting adventures come thick and fast, and the draw to do amazing and most of the time, hugely expensive things, is irresistible. I would love to live on top of this mountain, I love the person I am when I am on top of this mountain, I love people, I love life and I enjoy every breath I take. It is better than any orgasm I have ever experienced! However after being on top of this mountain comes the plummet to the otherside where the sun is blocked out by that very mountain, I hate it here. My bed is made out of jagged stone, but getting out of bed seems like a joke. The world is grey and the people in it are painful to listen to and be around. I am unable to do anything right and the sub-voice (I call it Vince) lives here. Vince tells me that I am worthless, I am incompetent and everyone hates me. The mirror mocks me and Vince laughs at the ugliness he see’s peering at him through the glass, how anyone could love or even stand to be near such a hideous creature is proved by the loneliness I feel within this world. Everything is dulled and I get desperate for some colour, some tingle of happiness, a scratch and the tickle is the most pleasurable thing I can imagine. The worst is that this horrible part of me takes over, it wants to embrace this horrible existence and it pushes to remove everyone I love from my life while the other part of me is wondering what I am doing. I don’t want to be alone, I don’t want to be left in this stagnant pit of misery, but I push him out, I scream at them, I try to force him to leave forever, I am nasty to all of them, yet at the same time all I want is for them to hold me and take me back to the top of the mountain or even the plain wheat field. The biggest loser in the world plagued by Vince and the thought that maybe leaving or killing myself would fix all this, but I cling to my kids, and hope that eventually I will find my way back to the wheat field by myself because that is the only safe place to be. While every mountain is followed by the dreadful pit, the pit is not always preceded by a mountain, this is the second direction. I cannot control this, the journey has been better in the last couple of years, especially since the new medication, but the mountain and the pit are always there, they are just further apart lately. Today I have been in the pit; I didn’t even get to enjoy a mountain first, so I feel a little ripped off. I hate myself because there is a sensible part of me that tells me that the things I do when I am on the mountain and the feelings and things I do and say while I am in the pit are ridiculous and thoughtless and I cannot afford, emotionally, financially and physically to keep doing these things, but it is like a mouse trying to conquer a carnivorous elephant."How do other people who travel the same or similar paths as me cope?

CafeLatte Just Need to Let It Out
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I have been diagnosed bipolar 2 for 5 years, I am on medication, my doctor says he's surprised at how well I cope, I am open and honest about my bipolar. But when you are down you are down, I try not to let it explode, I try not to take it out on tho... View more

I have been diagnosed bipolar 2 for 5 years, I am on medication, my doctor says he's surprised at how well I cope, I am open and honest about my bipolar. But when you are down you are down, I try not to let it explode, I try not to take it out on those around me, I have learnt it is best to say "my bipolar is giving me a bad time". But sometime you need to let all the garbage in your head out, but experience has taught me you don't talk to other people with issues as it makes mine worse, talking to friends can be OK but they can only handle it once or twice, my husband as brilliant as he is, has worn enough. So there is no one to talk to. I am down, I am heading to the bottom and I know it, I know I will crash - I have held it off for as long as I can, 3-5 weeks, I know I will have to take a couple of days off work and deal with it but I am over fighting it. Since being on medication I can see it happening I try to stop it, I am lucky sometimes it works, I haven't had a major for 18 months and my majors seem to not last long, getting to the bottom does but once there I seem to pick up the pieces and move on. I have to keep finding new ways to get through it; there is no rhyme or reason as to why it happens it just happens. I needed to say this I can’t say it out loud, I have walked away from this a few times as the tears slip I know I will have to let go and deal with the down. Thank you for listening I can go and let go now and start the journey back up to day to day living.

Chris D My head feels like it's full
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As the heading says, i'm feeling flat. I want company but i have restrictive funds for this coming week. Family things are starting to get on top of me along with my own personal issues, i just feel i'm about to crack under pressure, i'm not sure jus... View more

As the heading says, i'm feeling flat. I want company but i have restrictive funds for this coming week. Family things are starting to get on top of me along with my own personal issues, i just feel i'm about to crack under pressure, i'm not sure just how much more of this i can take. I'm ready to erupt like a volcano if this pressure doesn't lift. My head feels like it's full and take in anymore information, it just isn't ready and either is my body i can feel it. At the same time i need to look for work to earn money but i just don't feel ready my meds make me tired and so i'm yawning all the time it just feels so hard. I may come across like i'm going well but this thread i'm just letting all things come out into the open. I have a family member that is starting to worry about an operation that is coming up shortly in the next wk or so, so they are a concern. i'm quite sensitive at the moment more than usual. Fell like i'm in a real bind, between a rock and a hard place. I have a splitting headache at the moment so that isn't helping. I have an ex friend who still keeps having digs at me of something that happened at the start of the year in public places and isn't true. She verbally abused me and indirectly had a go at how my parents raised my 2 older sisters and myself. Feel like i'm a bull stuck in a cage just ready to be let out. Kind Regards Chris

Neil_1 Tears Part II
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Hi all I think the last post of "Tears" possibly got too big for its boots ... not that it was wearing any ... it just slops around in flip-flops, or what Aussies call, thongs. (Now I've got you thinking haven't I? Who is this guy ... is he Americaan... View more

Hi all I think the last post of "Tears" possibly got too big for its boots ... not that it was wearing any ... it just slops around in flip-flops, or what Aussies call, thongs. (Now I've got you thinking haven't I? Who is this guy ... is he Americaan or something?) No folks ... just a plain old Aussie boy, just thought I'd try for a bit of an unusual start to this post. Seeing as I can't cry I may as well be silly. And to answer some questions posed to me of late ... I am feeling, um, a little better. But that comes and goes, don't it. Had a rather crap day on Friday, but so far Saturday is going along much better - I think. Have already been to the gym and smashed out a brilliant workout of chest and finished with biceps. Two favourite body parts to workout. This arve, I have a physio session ... and my physio is a wonderful person as well as being highly talented in her field of expertise ... she's almost like a 'closet' psych. She's been awesome for me in the past. Yes, I'm on meds ... each and every day ... and heavy amounts of them. Take one variety each morning; and then about an hour before beddy byes time, I take two other different varieties. I often think when I hear of the awful struggles that so many posters have on this site where they can't get to sleep ... I just wish that their psych's or precribing authority would give them appropriate meds so that they can get to sleep as well. If I didn't have these nightly tablets to take, then I would be one of the many who suffer to the trauma of not being able to sleep at night. And let's face it, if you ever saw me, you'd be glad that I get a reasonable amount of beauty sleep ... otherwise it (I) wouldn't be a pretty sight !! And before I wrap this Part II post up, yes, I have my psychologist appointment for next Thursday, 13th February at 10:30am. And on that day, 23 years ago at 3:20pm, was the time that I lost my brother. Not that I'm counting mind you! So Saturday progresses along ... little to smile about. But hey, it's another day. Kind regards Neil

Neil_1 Tears
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Dear all (or dear anyone who reads this ... no bugga it, dear all ... why should I discriminate against anyone); This is a simple post. I want so much to cry. I need to cry. But I cannot cry. Could anyone tell me, "Why can't I cry?" Neil

Dear all (or dear anyone who reads this ... no bugga it, dear all ... why should I discriminate against anyone); This is a simple post. I want so much to cry. I need to cry. But I cannot cry. Could anyone tell me, "Why can't I cry?" Neil

strangebrew sick of it all: diary of a bad day
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After 20 years I am over all of this. I am sick of feeling suicidal 3-4 times a week.I am sick of being on addictive medications. I am sick of being unable to cope without medications.I am sick of feeling like I have to leave situations where other p... View more

After 20 years I am over all of this. I am sick of feeling suicidal 3-4 times a week.I am sick of being on addictive medications. I am sick of being unable to cope without medications.I am sick of feeling like I have to leave situations where other people are around.I am sick of wanting to go to sleep and never wake up.I am sick of the panic attacks and feeling like I am going to die.I am sick of spending 12 years working on getting in control of Depression and Anxiety and not only failing to get control, but getting worse. I am sick of the lack of support in the medical system. Every day feels the same, pushing my way through, doing whatever I can to get through it and collapse at the end of the daySo tired, so exhausted, so frustrated, so angry. This is never going to go away. This is my life.beyondblue’s clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

Asqueroso Depression?? Physical or Emotional??
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I'm brand new at this, just joined this forum out of confusion and fear of not knowing or understanding. As a regularly happy person, I am now trying to understand why I have been unhappy for a number of months now. I am one of those who believe that... View more

I'm brand new at this, just joined this forum out of confusion and fear of not knowing or understanding. As a regularly happy person, I am now trying to understand why I have been unhappy for a number of months now. I am one of those who believe that each individual person can heal themselves with the strength of their own minds. Cure their physical ailments without having to use prescribed drugs and heal their emotional problems by analysing their situation and effecting counter measures. After many years of adopting this way of thinking, I had to succumb to conventional methods and started using prescribed drugs to help me recover from a heart condition, thus putting a huge dent in my once strong personal beliefs. I find myself once again at the crossroads of my beliefs, inasmuch as I am battling with emotional problems which I cannot seem to control. I always thought that depression was purely an emotional issue, that you felt sad due to circumstances brought about by your own thoughts. I am not so sure about that now, thus the reason for this writing. I have always been able to control my emotions by analysing my feelings and understanding the "WHY". That has always worked for me, until now. I know the problems that I am facing, lack of work, limited income coming in and expenses that have to be serviced, uncertainty of future work, income, etc. I know that I am luckier than most men around, I have a wonderful wife who works and supports the household, is caring and totally supportive of me and a beautiful daughter who adores me. I am eating well and we are not starving, I have funds to fall back on, (little as they are), and am still able to meet most of my ongoing debts with the income my wife brings into the household. In short, I know a lot of people that do not have what I have. Yet, I cannot get out of the doldrums. I am now wondering if 'Depression' is in fact an emotional issue or is it in reality a medical or physical condition much like a cold virus or cancer or something that needs to be treated with a chemical drug. I know the problems I am facing and I know there are solutions to them. So why do I feel like this???

Fran_depressed The worst ever My First Ever Post
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Last year my daughter had a son, left Australia permanently. We couldn't sell our house. Finally gave it away for nothing almost. Then I was ill a lot and on steroids. Then I was made redundant and we moved house in the same week. Didn't hit me befor... View more

Last year my daughter had a son, left Australia permanently. We couldn't sell our house. Finally gave it away for nothing almost. Then I was ill a lot and on steroids. Then I was made redundant and we moved house in the same week. Didn't hit me before Christmas. Now the blackest ever for the longest period. Medication has been increased by my nice kind doctor. Doesn't make any progress, just watch TV and sit at home applying for jobs. Kind husband who's bewildered. Sorry to moan.. so black.

Girl_Anachronism Transient.
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If someone asked me "How are you?" that would be my honest answer right now. Transient. I feel like I am inbetween one place and the next,except I can't see what that next place is. I'm going somewherebut i don't know where I am going. Is this bad? I... View more

If someone asked me "How are you?" that would be my honest answer right now. Transient. I feel like I am inbetween one place and the next,except I can't see what that next place is. I'm going somewherebut i don't know where I am going. Is this bad? I know I'd prefer to know where I was going, to give me a goal to work towards so I could speed this up. I don't enjoy being in between. It makes me feel like there's no point making a home here, because I am going to be somewhere else and where I am right now isn't permanent. Lately I haven't felt anything. Like in my head I should be feeling something right now, but I can't. I can't feel anything, good or bad. It makes me wonder if there is real emotion there and my head is hiding it from me because it is too painful to feel right now. Like I open up a door and instead of finding answers, I just find a sudden deep black abyss. There should be something there, not a hole. Do I not know the answers? Or is my own head protecting me from them? If my head is protecting itself from them, then how could I trust myself. How can I trust what I think or feel at a given time because it might not be real, it might just be a smokescreen thrown up by a part of my head that thinks it knows better. Can I ever trust even simple things like I do like that movie or I don't like that show. These questions are the wind that blows up from the abyss, dark and cold as I stand there looking at it and feeling nothing. I don't know if this even makes any sense to anyone else. Maybe I am truly losing it right now. I don't even know if I feel bad right now. GA

iamsotired feel friends are tired of me
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Who do I call when I feel as I do???? I tried last Friday night to call for help to online call.... no new ideas, just best intended suggestions that I had heard and tried before. So, when I feel as I do where do I turn???? For over 10 years I have b... View more

Who do I call when I feel as I do???? I tried last Friday night to call for help to online call.... no new ideas, just best intended suggestions that I had heard and tried before. So, when I feel as I do where do I turn???? For over 10 years I have been calling different friends, but know I feel they are tired of my calls and don't understand why I am not feeling better.... nor do for that matter I feel Flat....................................................................................................................... and do not want to fall below flat any new suggestions or ideas or magic........................ please