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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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still_hopeful This internal struggle is so dark and scary
  • replies: 4

Been struggling with anxiety and bouts of depression the past 9 months.I was having mild panic attacks in meetings at work - nauseous, couldn't think straight or do public speaking. I was dizzy and would just freak out. Often I'd fake being 'sick' an... View more

Been struggling with anxiety and bouts of depression the past 9 months.I was having mild panic attacks in meetings at work - nauseous, couldn't think straight or do public speaking. I was dizzy and would just freak out. Often I'd fake being 'sick' and explain my feeling off / nervousness by saying I was unwell. The prospect of a meeting brought on so much dread. Had some social anxiety, even with my best mates. I just felt off. Like a glass wall was between them and myself and I couldn't get through it. I couldn't be myself. I was seeing my pysch weekly over the past few months and then started on a low dose of medication. Had some side effects - headaches, inability to concentrate, drowsiness and occasional thoughts of suicide. Have been on that for over a month and it was slowly wearing off and I was feeling more anxious and have up'd my dose as per GP rec's. It's made me really irritable, depressed and I even lashed out at my ex partner last night and felt so terrible.This week I've had two nights where I have woken up in an absolute panic. Terror. So much anxiety and sadness. I can't stop crying. I've had to take the whole week off work. It's almost 4pm and I still haven't gotten out of bed this hasn't happened to me before like this ever. I have been lying here crying all day - feeling so alone and sad. Even though I have been reaching out to amazing friends who are there. I'm so lucky in lots of ways. But all I can think about is ending my own life. This is so hard. I feel like a burden on my friends and workplace. I don't like my job and need to change. I'm not sure what to do. Take time off? How on earth do you get better? Should I stop giving the medication a go - it was working for a couple of weeks once the initial side-effects wore off... and I finally remembered what it was like to feel normal again. My life just feels so empty. I'm single. 30. A young woman with a great job. But I don't know where I'm going and what I want. I know my problems are petty compared to others doing it so much more tough - but this internal struggle is so dark and scary. I just want out. I wish it would go away. Does it get better? How does one break through the glass wall? Do suicidal thoughts wane? They scare me. beyondblue’s clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

Jet21 Feel worthless
  • replies: 8

I feel worthless and like nobody likes me. I have constant struggles in my mind about what others think of me. I put up a happy face at work but at home I just have tears in my eyes

I feel worthless and like nobody likes me. I have constant struggles in my mind about what others think of me. I put up a happy face at work but at home I just have tears in my eyes

hann1805 Living with depression
  • replies: 8

I need some help, I have been living with depression and anxiety for a while now and I am really struggling at this point, I have no motivation to do anything anymore, I have a good job, stable relationship and a roof over my head but I can't seem to... View more

I need some help, I have been living with depression and anxiety for a while now and I am really struggling at this point, I have no motivation to do anything anymore, I have a good job, stable relationship and a roof over my head but I can't seem to shake the feeling that I'm just not good enough. I'm down all the time and I've even had to take days off work because of a mental breakdown. I don't want this to affect my relationship, my partner and I have been together for a year now and he's been very supportive but I don't want to keep putting him through my episodes of anxiety attacks and severe depressive states, I also don't want this to affect my job. They have also been very understanding through this difficult time but I don't want to turn up to work in tears and breathless before going home after half an hour of work. If someone could help me figure out how to deal with this so it doesn't become a serious problem I would be forever grateful.

HelenM I don't understand why my depression returns
  • replies: 12

My name is Debs and I'm 54. I'm coming on here in some anxiety. Can people answer my question and more importantly will my situation warrant the support I need, even the 'there, there' answers would help and obviously no reply doesn't. However it is ... View more

My name is Debs and I'm 54. I'm coming on here in some anxiety. Can people answer my question and more importantly will my situation warrant the support I need, even the 'there, there' answers would help and obviously no reply doesn't. However it is the case that my depression doesn't need the help many people need. So. 12 years ago I suffered a severe depression that was a living hell. I was gradually recovering when two years later I went into another, not just as bad, due to something happening. From there on I've been suffering from recurrent depression, sometimes with a few months between and once I had a years break. At the end of January I woke one morning feeling low and there it was back. It is mild and has been getting milder over the years. But it is messing up my life because most of the time everything is an effort. I am no longer able to work (that's been for 6 years now) and so help in a charity shop which is a big help and distracts me quite well. I have a really good husband, good friends. My kids are grown up and I have 2 little grandsons. When I'm well I'm very happy and over the years have adjusted to a more limited lifestyle. But I can never reconcile myself to these episodes of depression. I can never feel confident they will pass and when I ask people how they know I'll get better they say 'because you always do'. The pattern of the depressions changes every so often; in length and anything between solid depression to good week/bad fortnight. Just now it's occasional good day. I take medication and can't have it increased. I've been told it's working (which I believe) and that these episodes are part of my chronic depression. By the way it usually comes for no reason. In fact life had been going very well prior to this episode. So, is it chemical. If it is what makes it go right again. If anyone knows I'd love the answer. Whilst I know there aren't any guarantees I respond quite well to logic. As I've already said I feel uncomfortable. I know this is minor. But right now I'm wishing I could fast forward my life so that it was over and I could go in peace.

Guest11 Lost & Confused
  • replies: 52

Hi guys after some advice here, I also just need to get some things off my chest and posting here is easier than trying to talk to people. I practically spent all last year in a numb, apathetic state where I completely lost interest in everything imp... View more

Hi guys after some advice here, I also just need to get some things off my chest and posting here is easier than trying to talk to people. I practically spent all last year in a numb, apathetic state where I completely lost interest in everything important to me and I also avoided interacting with friends and family unless I absolutely had to. I spent my days distracting myself in any way possible and my nights were spent lying in bed just waiting and hoping that I'd fall asleep so my mind would stop wandering. Mid December I started to feel a little bit better, probably because christmas was coming and I knew I was going to be spending it with my family. I felt like things were getting back on track and that I'd be ok again. Come late January, early February I felt miserable again for no reason I can think off. I remember one night broke down into tears one night for no reason, alone in my room. Nothing had triggered it, but on and off after that I had more cry spells and I felt terrible some days. I couldn’t sleep very well after that, and I sleep very little now. Lately I've noticed that I've become somewhat worse, and sometimes I become very emotional when in public places and I feel as if I can’t hold it in. My health has also suffered I rarely sleep, I get migraines and have probably gained around 10 kilos. I don’t feel like I can trust anyone enough to tell them about how I’ve been feeling, although I think my stepmother suspects something is not right, even so I just can't bring myself to talk about it. I have no close friends; I haven't spoke to to most of them in a while and my so called best friend abruptly dropped contact for reasons unknown. I feel that even if I were stll close to any of them, I still couldn’t tell them I've been to see a GP and had a mental health plan prepared, and saw a psychologist once (second appt in 2 weeks) I just don't know what is wrong, I remember periods of feeling down and depressed constantly for months at a time, other times I remember feeling on top of the world. Like I was invincible or nothing could stop me.

irishgirl Need courage to ask for help
  • replies: 7

Hi, I feel like my mental health is getting worse by the day n im finding it harder to find reasons to fight anymore. I know i need to go to a GP and ask for help but I dont know how. I cant talk out loud about whats going on and afraid if I do Ill h... View more

Hi, I feel like my mental health is getting worse by the day n im finding it harder to find reasons to fight anymore. I know i need to go to a GP and ask for help but I dont know how. I cant talk out loud about whats going on and afraid if I do Ill have a mental breakdown but also if i dont, I dont know how to continue. Need some adivce

Bok124 Worthless
  • replies: 5

I don't even know where to begin. Today I woke up just really upset and I started crying. I've had a few of these episodes but today felt the worse. It's all a feeling of guilt, worthlessness and a lot of other things. What really gets me down the mo... View more

I don't even know where to begin. Today I woke up just really upset and I started crying. I've had a few of these episodes but today felt the worse. It's all a feeling of guilt, worthlessness and a lot of other things. What really gets me down the most is thinking of my partner who has been so supportive. I hate the fact that I feel like I can't make him as happy as he should. I notice when I am just snappy and irritable towards him, I sometimes see the look of hopelessness in face and then I think about why he's even sticking around and dealing with me. He tells me he's not going anywhere and I believe him but I think he just offers me so much more than I can offer him. At the moment I am working part time after getting made redundant from my last job. I've found it hard to find full time work and while the job I'm in now is not ideal, it's paying the bills. So some feeling of hopelessness and being stuck stems from the job I'm in and not being able to find full-time work. There has also been a massive pay difference from my old job to this new one so that's also a contributing factor to feeling down. In all honesty, the job thing is such small potatoes when I look at the big picture. I have a loving partner, I'm close with my family and friends and I get along amazingly with my partners family. I have everything that I want and more. When I am in the right headspace, I can step back and be so thankful for everything that I have. My family and friends don't know about my depression so I think they think that my life is perfect, though I don't pretend my life is perfect, I have just never told them that I've seen a psychiatrist for help in the past. I stopped seeing the psychiatrist after a few sessions as I couldn't make my last appointment cos of work and I thought I was feeling and coping a lot better. Only to realize that I didn't just develop depression recently, I think I've had it for a few years now and due to the redundancy situation and not working for 10 months just gave it a lot of time to boil and worsen. I took the day off work today cos I couldn't stop crying in the morning and I have this immense guilt from not going to work. They know that I've been having personal issues but at the same time I can't expect them to just keep understanding. I guess I'm afraid that they'll ask me to step down from my role. I just needed to get this off my chest. Thanks for taking the time to read.

Jo3 Back in hospital
  • replies: 5

Hi everyone Well here I am again - back in hospital. Don't know if it's a good or bad thing. But I'm here and I am going to take as much rest as I can, do as many group sessions as possible. I'm in a shared room and it is so weird - 3 of us who were ... View more

Hi everyone Well here I am again - back in hospital. Don't know if it's a good or bad thing. But I'm here and I am going to take as much rest as I can, do as many group sessions as possible. I'm in a shared room and it is so weird - 3 of us who were here in April are all in today and we are in the same room!!! I felt very withdrawn and nervous this morning, but as the day is going on I am not too bad. I will keep you all updated. Take care everyone, I have limited access to computer, so I will try and come on quickly every day. Jo xxx

white knight WHAM...DEPRESSION !! Arrives this morning gone by evening...why?
  • replies: 6

I'm studying myself...observing when I fall into depression, the symptoms, the lead up to it and how I get out of it. So, wife and I on holiday up north- sunshine coast. Staying with friends. Yesterday wife went out shopping and as she took our car I... View more

I'm studying myself...observing when I fall into depression, the symptoms, the lead up to it and how I get out of it. So, wife and I on holiday up north- sunshine coast. Staying with friends. Yesterday wife went out shopping and as she took our car I was..well marooned, stuck at this nice place but there is a limit to what you can do at a friends house alone. With boredom during the day I rang my wife for her to bring the newspaper. She returned and forgot it. We are too far to go driving just for the paper so I didnt bother. This morning I woke up having had a really bad dream. I dont know if it was the result of the dream or not enough sleep from dreaming but I woke up in a bad mood. We had planned a day out and I asked my wife if we could start the day with brekky at a cafe. No, she didnt consider it at all. So we had coffee and the conversation with our friends lingered on and on. Eventually my mood fouled more and I announced to my wife- "we leave in 5 minutes or I leave by myself". We left in a few minutes and started our day at a cafe but the depression had well and truly set in. By this time I was trying to feel the change in my brain. Started to study my body for reasons that set off the mood. Was it- -the bad dream -lack of sound sleep -boredom the day before leading to impatience this morning -my wife's lack of knowing how needy I was to get on the road -my depression cycle coming around -music....I had the tune of the bodyguard in my head...I'm a sucker for sad tunes. -being away from home in Victoria We had been at our friends for one week. We'd been camping for 3 days happily and the following 4 days we great, jovial, laughing - perfect atmosphere. What I do know. Is that my wife is not to blame. My communication was reasonable and my sense of urgency was obvious. But my impatience came around really quickly..in fact it came during our drinking our coffee, within a 5 minute period. Medication has been great and am on the maximum of the mood stabiliser prescribed. An anti depressant is ok and prefer not to take a higher dosage. Also my feelings just after I lost patience was like my eyes were welling up. 10 years ago I would have cried for hours and had headaches from that. But the flushed feeling I had this morning might be due to the chemical reaction causing the depression????? Does anyone else have this flushed feel? How many of you can relate to the above circumstances listed as being a trigger for depression.? and out of it after 8 hours.

unremarkable1 Looking for opportunity to offload
  • replies: 2

Hello, I am almost reluctant to post this, given that I don't think I am actually clinically depressed or suffering from any particular mental illness. But sources of sadness, frustration and regret in my life have slowly accumulated to a point where... View more

Hello, I am almost reluctant to post this, given that I don't think I am actually clinically depressed or suffering from any particular mental illness. But sources of sadness, frustration and regret in my life have slowly accumulated to a point where they are affecting my physical wellbeing. I don't want to join any kind of support group - I would feel like a complete phony, because my depression is purely circumstantial, not clinical at all. I would normally even categorise myself as an optimist. All I really think I need is a sympathetic ear - someone who will listen without judging or jumping to unnecessary conclusions, and WITHOUT trying to shove drugs down my throat. If I were religious, I would just go have a chat with my local clergy-person. It's that kind of casual understanding that I feel I need, which unfortunately is very hard to find for modern, secular professional types who have difficulty making friends. I'm looking for any suggestions or recommendations - I'm not sure if individual therapists are allowed to be named in this forum, but if so, hopefully I'm allowed to at least say that I live and work in Melbourne's eastern suburbs. A bit to the north, and not too far into the 'sticks'. Thanks.

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