Depression

Depression affects people in Australia every day. Share your own story and learn about other member’s experiences with depression.

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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
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Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with Depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with Depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the chats on this Forum having been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
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I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
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Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

All discussions

rowdy1111 so unhappy
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i cant remember the last time i was really happy not since i was a teenager, my dad got sick and died 6 years ago, and recently after being laid off from work may dog had to be put down and my aunty died after an operation i have been wanting to die,... View more

i cant remember the last time i was really happy not since i was a teenager, my dad got sick and died 6 years ago, and recently after being laid off from work may dog had to be put down and my aunty died after an operation i have been wanting to die, just go to bed and never wake up. i find it hard to meet new people and find it hard talking to my family and freinds

cetch Please help
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Hi. I'm so depressed and today crying whole time wanting end my life..im on an SSRI. I feel I'm going nowhere. been off work as a teacher for two months. Been hospitalised recently.went to see a clinical psychologist which basically told me go on wor... View more

Hi. I'm so depressed and today crying whole time wanting end my life..im on an SSRI. I feel I'm going nowhere. been off work as a teacher for two months. Been hospitalised recently.went to see a clinical psychologist which basically told me go on workers comp. for me that is not the solution.i want strategies to cope with my negative thoughts and give me confidence again.Please can anyone give me advice or can recommend a good clinical psychologist in Perth.I feel like such a failure .My life was good before this and now I can't cope.

HopeSpringsEternal To med or not to med?
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Hi beautiful people. i've just joined the forum today having been on the phone to lifeline at 4am this morning who mentioned the resources here to me. i don't know if i'm going to turn into a regular member as i have done with some forums in the past... View more

Hi beautiful people. i've just joined the forum today having been on the phone to lifeline at 4am this morning who mentioned the resources here to me. i don't know if i'm going to turn into a regular member as i have done with some forums in the past or whether i'll selfishly post my current dilemma and drift away into my busy life and other resources so please forgive me if it's a one-off. having said that, i've immensely enjoyed skimming through the discussions this afternoon and find a lot of hope here. i'll try to keep it brief. i've suffered with depression or bipolar (depending who you ask) for 30 years, since my mid-teens. it was worst in my 20s and 30s but seems to have settled to some reasonable degree in the last 7 years since meeting my long-term partner and having our beautiful son (now 5). i have tried to treat my depression, for the most part, 'naturally'. i've tried to incorporate exercise into my life; i pray and meditate (not as regularly as i'd like but as much as i can); i've done endless affirmations and gratitude lists to keep me positive; i've had a series of psychologists/counsellors (my current one has been for 5 years and is terrific); i've done all sorts of psychological healing work; i've pursued various forms of spirituality; i eat reasonably healthily; have been to naturopaths; and have been sober from alcoholism through AA for 23 years though I don't attend meetings all that regularly any more. anyway, you get the gist. i've taken meds twice - once for 6 months and once for 6 weeks both during relationship breakups. so i've just taken a turn for the worse recently though i'm not entirely sure why. after a few crazy years of business things have been quieter this year possibly leaving me too much time in my home office doing 'project work' rather than being out with clients where i get my kicks; we bought a house mid-year and painted it ourselves before moving in 2 months ago; we've had an endless stream of visitors since moving in (nice but too much); i've found the 'prep transition' for my son a bit stressful and making arrangements for his after-school care etc pretty exhausting; we haven't had a holiday for eons (4 days at easter and maybe a 18 months since we had a week in fiji); we don't have much extended family so baby-sitting and time to ourselves is sparse and when i start to get weepy my partner gets angry. we've been having arguments recently because he can feel me 'acting scared and scatty like a flickering light' all the time and i wake up with a look of dread about the day ahead on my face which he can't fathom when I "want for nothing". and the arguments lead me to feeling like a failure, depression, suicidal fantasy and calling lifeline at 4am. i'm catching up with my counsellor in 10 days and perhaps it will all just pass but lifeline said "you've given it your all for 30 years. do you really want this to go on for another 30?". and it makes sense of course. but then i feel like "what a waste of 30 years - i could've just taken a bloody pill in the first place" and i'm also pathetically scared of the side effects of lost libido and potential weight gain (though i don't remember the latter being a big issue previously). i think i'm mostly loathe to take a permanent solution in the form of long term meds to what could just be a passing phase that has interrupted a mostly solid period. having said that, i'm far more worried about the effect on my relationship and my son of course if this doesn't turn around soon. i do think that a bit of time to myself to read my positive literature and listen to positive talks would make a big difference, but what damage in the meantime? so anyway, so much for the 'brief' post. any thoughts greatly appreciated. xx

Mares73 Can't function, feel such a loser, consumed bu self hate
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Hi all you may remember me from my earlier post about being on so many medications with little support. And my condensed story of growing up abused by an alcoholic father, turning to a priest for help-who then sedated and assaulted me, a stranger rap... View more

Hi all you may remember me from my earlier post about being on so many medications with little support. And my condensed story of growing up abused by an alcoholic father, turning to a priest for help-who then sedated and assaulted me, a stranger rape several years ago, suicide of my father and the recent trauma of my husband getting acute leukaemia. Until the birth of my first child and again following the rape-I was such a high achiever. I didn't allow myself time to think about my life-I kept very busy & highly functioning. No one but me could tell the darkness brewing underneath. I gave up work several years ago because I wasn't coping with the pressure anymore & I wanted to be there for my kids. But the depression and extreme anxiety is ruining my life. I even applied to do an online self help course and a psychologist phoned me and said he was very concerned by my assessment results and felt I should see somebody ASAP rather than do a self help course. I've being seeing the same psych for 7 years-I think she just considers me too traumatised and says things like "you are doing amazing under the circumstances" and just hands out another script. But I'm not doing anywhere near "amazing". I'm struggling to face the day each morning, I stress over stupid things like finding something to wear, I procrastinate all day even though I've written lists of things to do each day. The mail is piling up, bills unpaid, things I need to do left for another "better day" that never comes. I feel completely hollow inside. Empty. Alone and wishing I could sleep and never wake up. Then I think how selfish of me would it be to leave my kids behind-they are all that's stopping me I'm sure. I also used to be a social. Bubbly person and I'm still a very warm and caring person that most people would find me easygoing BUT the change is I've isolated myself from everybody and even my own family (mother &sisters) who I looked after and was their mother figure-even they have no desire to understand me. My mother said from a very young age that "feelings don't matter" and to get on "with the cards you've been dealt". I am extremely lonely of a day, I usually spend most days (after ive organised kids for school) inside the house reading a book or looking up websites on depression etc. I wish there was a support service where someone would visit occasionally. Gosh I'm only turned 40 and I sound like an old woman! But having a visitor would help or knowing people in same situation to talk to. I'm really hating myself today, why can't I do something, why can't I get dressed, why am I locked in house with all blinds shut and its a beautiful day outside. I'm sick of feeling helpless and unable to deal with these feelings when I've dealt with many traumatic events before. And it's so so easy for me to feel a failure and blame anything on myself. I'm really stuck. I feel I need help desperately but I'm at home in Sydney with the kids by myself for a while and have no one to support me-but my daughter is 14 so she could help with my 9yr old son if I could get some help. I literally feel like I'm being sucked down a drain and the water levels are rising dangerously. I really don't know anymore-this depression and anxiety has taken my life from me, I'm now just existing. Can't remember how happiness feels. So before I hit "send"-I apologise for my ranting which is just another sign of where I'm at. Lv M

939 Lost
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Since the break up with my first girlfriend I've been very depressed. She broke up with me. At the start of July. And now it's almoat December . For the last few months since the break up I've isolated myself from people. I stopped working..and haven... View more

Since the break up with my first girlfriend I've been very depressed. She broke up with me. At the start of July. And now it's almoat December . For the last few months since the break up I've isolated myself from people. I stopped working..and haven't worked since June of this year. Someone who was supposed to be my friend lied to me about her still being friends with my ex. And my ex-friend and my ex are both bi-sexual. My ex-friend asked numerous times to make out with my ex while I was with her. I said no each time and was upset about it. Now I keep thinking they have hooked up becauae they have been friends the whole time . My ex girlfriend made comments at my size down there..and they were really hurtful comments..and were made behind my back. since all that happened I've been in hospital because I wasn't eating or showering and just stayed in bed all day. My family contacted the hospital about me and I was in there for a few days. I'm on medication now..I'm seeing a pychologist...but I still stay at home all the time and I still am isolating myself..I don't know what to do. It's been months now..and I can't keep feeling like this and going on like this. And all my thoughts about my ex and my ex-friend won't stop...

Notmyself Feeling Bad
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Being away from home and my dogs makes me feel crazy. This week I am not coping, I feel like I'm stuck in a well screaming for help. I just wanted to talk to someone, general conversation, to feel wanted and respected, cared about. I just wanted my b... View more

Being away from home and my dogs makes me feel crazy. This week I am not coping, I feel like I'm stuck in a well screaming for help. I just wanted to talk to someone, general conversation, to feel wanted and respected, cared about. I just wanted my boyfriend to call me and to want to listen or talk to me. He's the only person I wanted to talk to at the time. But he was always to busy, and I realize now its not because he doesn't care or doesn't want to, its just that hes had a lot on too. But me being me couldnt be normal and control my emotions and instead have splurted everything out, ruined a surprise I had for him by telling him out of anger. Made him not want to speak to me at all, and left me feeling soooooo angry and sad. BUT........ I feel like he should try to understand more, he works away also and get very depressed when hes gone and I always make sure I am there for him, even when hes losing it. And I feel like he provokes me to push and push me coz he knows I will hate my self for days and be miserable while hes out and he knows I will then worry and make my self sick over it. In general I feel like im so lost, I know im not a bad person I know I shouldnt let things get tome, but I cant control it, I cant seem to stop the CRAZYNESS going on in my head. I just want some relief. Home in 6 days though... surley I can keep it together. The days go slower and slower. LP

KeshiaB It's all getting too much…
  • replies: 7

Since I was 14 I have battled with depression. It seems to be mostly seasonal and most of the time I have been able to live quite successfully despite at times feeling completely flat. At the worst times I have had temporary relief with medication an... View more

Since I was 14 I have battled with depression. It seems to be mostly seasonal and most of the time I have been able to live quite successfully despite at times feeling completely flat. At the worst times I have had temporary relief with medication and counselling. In January 2012 I left my home country and moved to Australia. After a few months of severe homesickness I finally felt good about what I'd achieved. I have a great job, a nice little house that I rent, an amazing partner of five years and I'm finally starting to make friends, though I'm still finding it hard to open up too much or let myself get close with anyone in particular. My partner has been my rock since moving here and our relationship has grown immensely in the last two years. At the start of this year I experienced panic attacks for the first time. The attacks came primarily at night, I would find my mind flooded with thoughts of a world riddled with war, famine, destroyed natural environment, disease, drought and poverty. All I could think about was how and when I would lose everything I have worked so hard for, how my partner might drop dead and leave me alone in a strange place, how my whole family would die all at once or how I might lose control of my mind completely and end up in a padded cell. My thoughts were of nothing specific in the long term, any scenario that could come to mind would and I found myself unable to sleep, breath or keep myself together. With the help of a psychologist I learned relaxation techniques and soon I was without panic attacks. A couple of months back I was feeling good. I was about to start taking dance lessons with friends, we were all looking forward to having a laugh and meeting new people. Halfway through the class the familiar feeling came back, my chest tightened, my vision blurred, I couldn't breath properly and I felt like I would collapse. I ran outside and was found later on in tears by my partner and friends. The next week another attack hit before class, so I never went back. Since then, any scenario out of my normal routine has caused the same reaction. I cannot even go on my friends boat, and I was partly raised on the water! Now I am worn out. I have difficulty concentrating at work, I am constantly tired, I have no motivation to exercise when before all this I was well on my way to being able to run for half an hour non stop for the first time in my life. I feel I have little control over my thoughts and I am scared to make the most basic decisions. I cannot trust my own judgements anymore and I forget things easily. Depression is once again taking over and I fear I don't have what it takes to beat both depression and anxiety. My biggest worry is that even if I do get better it will again only be for a short time. I am seeing a psychologist who is again taking me through CBT training (for the third time in my life) but none of it seems to stick. I can feel myself getting worse day by day and I don't know what to do about it, or if I am capable of doing anything about it! I am tired of fighting, it's all getting too much, I just want peace.

shawnzhang Depression to find out a way of life
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What we are? A group that lost direction. a direction of forward attitude for happy life. it is so a deep doubt in our body and mental ,that we cannot easily realize it . everyday,we talk and fight with ourselves. Never peaceful. since we do not agre... View more

What we are? A group that lost direction. a direction of forward attitude for happy life. it is so a deep doubt in our body and mental ,that we cannot easily realize it . everyday,we talk and fight with ourselves. Never peaceful. since we do not agree with ourself, we depreciate ourself. No value ,not necessary to forward , no right to have happiness. Note all these above are not as simple as it looks like,that is why we are engaged with this task for years. a task to reestablish the consistency of ourself, to find a way to live , a direction for happiness. our mind struggle for this purpose, depression when inactive or anxiety when active. What a disaster! but this the way undergoing, we have to summon up courage. With the help of other. I don't see it is disease. but a work. A internal work to find the values and mechanism for the life and world, Not like others, they seems working more externally. At last , it could turn out to be a miserable childhood, a big mental impact. Whatever , god assigned it to us. because he think we are stronger than others to have such kind of sufferring to cherish the life, to understand the miracle of the world. to let us develop a new and better of ourself. It is not superior than others. but a way to get along with others ,the world. Which we will enjoy with all our heart.

Dennis38 Might be in a little trouble
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Ok been having an odd sort of month and on the fence here, first off I wake up fine and the day goes ok for me but then I start to get this knot in my gut, start to get anxious and very moody with out being able to see or even know what the trigger i... View more

Ok been having an odd sort of month and on the fence here, first off I wake up fine and the day goes ok for me but then I start to get this knot in my gut, start to get anxious and very moody with out being able to see or even know what the trigger is. Normaly I know my triggers and how to avoid them but this past month has been really weird. Been very teary and I hate crying but some times I cant stop myself (comes from being a man the hating to cry thing) and really just feeling odd, especialy this whole anxious crap and there is no reason I can see. I am thinking about going back to counciling but then for a few days I am right as rain, I live in pain 24/7 so kind of use to that but this crappy weather here on the coast in NSW has been pushing the pain higher then I care for, and its doing the same to my wife. We had a great anniversier (5 years as of Friday) and today I hurt a bit more then normal (stupid weather) but emotionally I am pretty stable not sure what to do to be honest. Don't know if I want to ride this out or start to call around to see how much an appointment or four is going to cost me ( you need to find the right person to talk to, just going to the first person in the yellow pages is never a good idea).