Over it!

[Sad_Sack]

My whole life I have suffered anxiety and depression but there was never any cause for it, just an imbalance or part of my personality. However in the last two years so many awful things have happened and I have dealt with them one by one, but they just keep coming and I just can't cope anymore.


I feel like that depressed 15 year old again who wants to spend their whole life under the covers hiding from life, only now I have 2 kids who depend on me. 

In two years my cousin died, My best friends baby died in a tragic accident, my husband left me after moving us all interstate, found out he was cheating, he screwed me over financially and continues to do so to this day, in the last 6 weeks, I had to move suddenenly, lost my job and to top it all off my sister isn't talking to me.

In the first 6 months after a break up people are so supportive and now 2 years on things are just as bad as ever and no one wants to talk about (which I totally understand by the way, because it is a boring bloody story).

My Mum had to move in with me and my kids after I lost my job and everything just feels like the pits of hell.

I am dreading Christmas, as I won't get to see my kids for half the day. 

I have cried about 6 times today already.

I am having awful thoughts, and just wish the whole world would explode. 

I used to have a great life and now everything is stuffed and while I know that probably by this time next year things will be better it doesn't help. I thought that last year and here I am still a slave to my ex, trapped in this co parenting arrangement.

Thankfully my kids re with their Dad tonight so I can have a complete mental breakdown.

[Teddas]

Sad Sack,

Dont have a melt down, to me you sound strong. To go through all that and keep going is amazing. Christmas is a horrible time sometimes and l can relate to you there.

I have 4 children and my wife and l although still in the same house live in separate rooms and have separate lives. She will go days without talking to me at all but since she is the income earner l dont get much of a say in anything.

I feel your desperation but take a big breathe. Stuff you ex, if he did that to you then you are better without him. I know that is easier said than done but believe in yourself.

You have two beautiful children, that makes you lucky even if it makes things hard sometimes. Mum is there to help, my Mum pasted away 12 months ago and was the one l would talk to about all this stuff so now post on here.

I know where you are coming from as had the day from hell and was just coming on here to ask for help. Been crying and got the shakes, but l'm still breathing so still in with a chance and so are you.

I am so glad you put up your post because from what l have seen on here in the short time l have been on this site there are caring and understanding people all willing to help.

Well done for starting the process and good luck

[Vegetarian Marshmallow]

Why is time apart from your kids such a bad thing?  Normally, parents have the opposite problem - "I can't get a break from the kids".  It should be a time to indulge in other things.  Your kids shouldn't be your entire life.  I love my friends, but I can't read a book at the same time as socialising with them.  Time without children to look after can be time in which to dance nude all around the house, see or phone friends, take up the fine art of sweater-knitting, look for a new job, or just eat some gourmet toast.

I think you should stop hiding from life and go meet it for a coffee.  It doesn't mean you any harm.  Maybe it looks like a big scary guy with tattoos, but then you get to know it and find that it owns a miniature cake bakery and collects flowers.

[geoff]

dear Sad Sack, even though you have suffered from depression and anxiety most of your life, which is unfortunate, and a lot to suffer from, all of these deaths would have just added to it.

It makes my wonder and I maybe wrong, that your husband had an affair, maybe once or more, but now your sister isn't talking to you, so whether or not it was her I don't know, and I hope I haven't upset you by mentioning this.

I presume that your husband was the only bread winner here and that's why he has financial control over you, and if this is so, then you are at his whim.

Are there plans of a divorce so that financially he won't be able to dictate to you. L Geoff. x