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Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

Chris_B Are you looking to support someone else with depression? PLEASE READ before posting
  • replies: 0

This forum is for people seeking support for their own mental health issues. If you're posting on behalf of someone else with a mental health issue that you're concerned about, please have a look at this section of our forums: Supporting family and f... View more

This forum is for people seeking support for their own mental health issues. If you're posting on behalf of someone else with a mental health issue that you're concerned about, please have a look at this section of our forums: Supporting family and friends with a mental health condition It's full of threads from people who have family members and friends going through anxiety, depression or other related conditions. Have a read through the threads there, and feel free to take part in the discussions. Below are also some helpful beyondblue resources you might want to look through first as well: Supporting someone Have the conversation

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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purple Dont want to leave my haven
  • replies: 2

I have been diagnosed with severe depression and post traumatic stress disorder and thought I was coping fairly well until four months ago when I lost my job. I have been unable to gain employment of any kind since then and my condition is getting wo... View more

I have been diagnosed with severe depression and post traumatic stress disorder and thought I was coping fairly well until four months ago when I lost my job. I have been unable to gain employment of any kind since then and my condition is getting worse day by day. I'am currently living in a rented unit on my own, which has become my haven, it is so peaceful and beautiful, but because my financial situation has become almost non-existent I now find I have to move out to my daughter's house and stay with her and her family. Whilst I'am grateful to have somewhere to go, I don't want to leave my haven and I know I won't cope with living so far out of town. Some days all I want to do is sleep and doing the most basic of things has become incredibly hard to complete if at all. I feel as if I have lost total control over my life and feel as if there is no reason to try and carry on. I'am seeing a mental health professional and my local GP but all I want to do is find my way back into the light and out of the darkness which is overwhelming me.

Nerezza Why doesn't it ever get any better?
  • replies: 5

You hear the success stories of those who once suffered from depression, especially on sites like this plastered with tales of 'It'll be okay' and 'Talk about it'. But for me it never gets any better, it's always there. I know that I am clinically de... View more

You hear the success stories of those who once suffered from depression, especially on sites like this plastered with tales of 'It'll be okay' and 'Talk about it'. But for me it never gets any better, it's always there. I know that I am clinically depressed. I have acknowledged it and attempted to fight it. I've seen psychiatrists and have taken various serotonin medications. The medications do help to a degree but nothing removes the constant exhaustion and lack of energy, the aching and the heaviness and the inability to focus or become truly motivated. Talking doesn't help. I have little faith in other people (I'm fairly misanthropic) and so what they say kind of falls flat on my face and means little. Talking about 'smelling the flowers' and 'seeing the beauty of life', I cannot. The inspirational posters of depression therapy are redundant to me. Waking everyday is a chore, moving around and existing even more so. My body aches, feeling like some thick black liquid is pumping through my veins. I can feel the blood pulsing through my fingers and feet and they ache. Joints hurt, muscles are tense. It is often tiresome to breathe. Doctors just seem to do blood tests, which usually come back fine. Then they send me off to the psychiatrist, who just talks about jargon that means nothing to me. I'm not suicidal, I do not hate myself. I hate the depression. I hate that it cripples what I could be. It is an enormous strain on my relationships with people and it is an enormous strain on my own existence. What hope is there when you've no faith in the hope being peddled by disconnected peers? When both the physical and mental pain circulate in a loop that cycles infinite? When every time you open your eyes and see the world for what it is and the truth of it fuels the loathing?

S15 Pushed away by friends
  • replies: 6

Where to start.. I'm recently 20. Before I can start, a little back story, I have this group of friends (about 8-10 people) around my same age, and we all usually hang out together. Normal teenage stuff; movies, clubbing, BBQ's. But anyway, there is ... View more

Where to start.. I'm recently 20. Before I can start, a little back story, I have this group of friends (about 8-10 people) around my same age, and we all usually hang out together. Normal teenage stuff; movies, clubbing, BBQ's. But anyway, there is this one girl (we'll call her Amy) in the group who I've 'loved'? for the past 2-3 years or so, around 2 years ago we would hang out a bit and talk all the time and this was when I noticed I was developing feelings for her. One night I was brave enough to tell her how I felt about her, in which she responded that she didn't quite feel the same way, but that there was a time where she did, obviously, I was slightly crushed. Fast-forward about 1 year, we still talk and hang out, and I had sort of accepted the fact that nothing would probably eventuate, but because she had said that she used to like me, I'd always had that ideology in the back of my head that there was something I could do, or say, to bring up those old feelings she had for me. January this year, our group had rented a holiday house for the week, and being teenagers, a lot of alcohol was involved. One night everyone is drunk and the group is egging on the 2 girls to kiss, which they do, and then Amy starts kissing another guy, which kind of hurt me, because I knew that she probably wouldn't do the same with me if I was in that guys position. Anyway, a seperate incident occurred that night with the other girl over her feelings for another guy there (not the one kissed), they were sort of together but not offically, and in which in my drunken state, told Amy "You should of known this would happen". She got really angry with me over that comment, didn't talk or look at me for the rest of the trip. About a month after the trip, I messaged her, asking for forgiveness, because the thought of not being her friend anymore was too much. She told me she was sick of all the attention she gets from guys (I must say that she is quite an attractive girl with good traits, and that I'm not much of a looker or talker, so the knowledge that she used to like me was enough to latch on to her and not completley move on) but that we were still friends. A little while after this conversation, I unexpectedly get a phone call from her one night saying that she's going out clubbing with our group and had totally forgot to invite me along (she was tipsy at that point). Great! I had nothing else on that night so I went over, on the way into town, she tells me how much she had missed me, that she was a bitch for overreacting and that it wasn't my fault about what happened, and we made amends. The next few months were going great, we were all hanging out again, having fun. At this point in time, there was this new guy that she was hanging out with. I had met him a couple of times and he seemed like a nice guy, but I didn't really want him around her, I saw him as a threat, which showed me that I am a jealous person with the notion of 'if I can't have her, no one can'. She lived about an hour away from most of the people in our group, at her mum's and step-fathers, which she doesn't get along with (he's apparentley quite violent). This new guy also lives down the same area as her though, in his own house, and soon she moves in with him. I was a little worried about this, especially since she hadn't had the chance to move her bed in, so they were sleeping in the same bed. She assured me that she wouldn't date someone she was living with. This new guy was having his birthday party and Amy invited our group down as well, but the whole night I felt the vibe that I wasn't really welcome there, so I had sulked and spent most of the night in the spare room, out of sight.The next morning, I snuck out without saying goodbye, and went home. About 3 weeks later, which leads up to now, on the monday, I see on Facebook that Amy and this new guy are now in a relationship. I was devastated, but kept telling myself 'this is a good thing, you can finally fully move on now, be happy for them' but knowing that it will be awkward to see her now, especially if he's there. In revelation of this news, I was feeling kind of down, but was trying to cheer myself up with the fact that I was going to a concert that (this) weekend with some of them, including her, which I admit makes me feel awkward and not as enthusiastic. Until, I saw tonight on Facebook, pictures of all my friends at a bonfire from the weekend that just passed, and this was the first I knew about it. I was crushed, I thought I could live with losing one friend, but now seeing that made me feel that I wasn't invited for a reason, was I not welcome in the group anymore? Am I selfish? I've always been taught not to invite myself to things, but I would've figured that a bonfire where all my friends are would be something I would be invited to. I could just cut them off for good, not hang out or talk to them ever again, but honestly friends are the only thing I have, I don't have a girlfriend and my social skills aren't the best, and I know I'd be the one that would crawl back to them, and I don't want that. Just need some advice. They all say that I am their friend, but I'm getting this strong feeling I'm not welcome anymore. Sorry for the novel.

casey89e I need help - please
  • replies: 3

OK this is new for me so please bear with me this post will be long so i apologise...For the last 18 months i have been struggling with clinical depression i was diagnosed 12 months ago after the break up of my engagement to my first 'love' Bit of ba... View more

OK this is new for me so please bear with me this post will be long so i apologise...For the last 18 months i have been struggling with clinical depression i was diagnosed 12 months ago after the break up of my engagement to my first 'love' Bit of background i met him when i was 20 and he was 34 i fell for him instantly and so hard that i didnt see any of the warning signs (he was a gambler). We were then seperated by 3 hours for work and i did everything in power to relocate to be with him it cost me friendships and a career goal i had but none of that mattered because i was him now. Living in teh same house i began to facilitate his addiction without even realising how bad it was, i loved him so much i would have moved moutnains for him and i believed he felt the same. Than as the gambling got worse and teh debt grew he got angrier and angrier with me for the smallest things. His family hated me because i placed blame where it was due on them not supporting his need for help, his dad tried to hit me and groped me but he refused to believe they coudl do that and said if i mentioned it he would leave me so i left it alone. Eventually he turned violent too it started with arguments, full on screaming matches when we were both at fault and he would hold me done or lock me in a room, to punching me in the head while driving becasue i fended him off and hurt his tooth, to one night at a hotel he dragged me into the foyer and kicked me in the head countless times than made me sleep on the bathroom floor. None of this made me leave cause as long as he said he loved and as affectionate the next day i was happy. One day i cracked though when he attempted to choke me i went to work with marks on my neck which i couldn't hide and was forced to tell someone they believed me and went straight to his boss, they asked him what happnened, he claimed 'rough sex' and thast where it ended. He propsed 10 days later so i was happier than ever. Eventually after racking up $50 000 in debt in my name which he promised was ok becasue we were going to be togeher forever he left me, he told me he never loved me and he would pay back the debt at amount that suited him ($400 a fortnight)not what we agreed to. I stood by his side through his bankruptcy, gambling, helped him when he was upset and now i had nothing but an immense debt to show for it i lost my animals, my furniture, the love of my life in one email it disappeared. Eventually i went to get help as i couldnt function i was diagnosed with clinical depression and when i told him this he seemed to be nicer we went on a holiday to try and 'end things better' during whihc he decided he wanted to give us another go little did i know that when we got home his parents would be there whihc meant i didnt exist and they all refused to pay money that was owed me (his parent owed me $2000 as well) He told all his friends, our workplace that i was taking anti depressants and was crazy so immediatly stopped taking them no matter how they helped. Eventually he needed more money to gamble so he asked me back, i didnt hesitate and moved back in with him, At this stage i wasnt aware how much he had knocked me down to the point i truely believed no one would ever want me. We stayed this way until he recieved a much better paying job overseas and up and left promising me we would still work and thsi was the best thing for our finanacial situation. He now pays me $200 a fortnight much less than i need while he makes $17000 a month TAX FREE i still love him more than anything and would give up my world in a heartbeat to be with him, nothign in my life works anymore im only happy when he is kind and loving, when he isnt my world falls apart i cant imagine ever moving on with anyone else and as a result i lie in bed all day afetr work waiting to hear from him, waiting for him to want me to live with him. I am VERY AWARe at how pathetic i am, all this over a guy who really on paper isnt that special - 14 years older, bankrupt, dad of three, still married to his ex, no assets, abusive, addict. But i just cant feel any self worth unless its cming from him, there isn't a day i dont wish to be with him or wish i was dead becasue i know it would make his life easier...I dont know how to move past this or if i even will

mun23 trying not to fall apart
  • replies: 4

I'm stuck, I've been stuck for years. My head is going to explode. I don't want to tell my husband, he's not in a good place either at the moment, and he's a worrier, I don't want him to worry about me. I'm trying hard to keep it together for him. As... View more

I'm stuck, I've been stuck for years. My head is going to explode. I don't want to tell my husband, he's not in a good place either at the moment, and he's a worrier, I don't want him to worry about me. I'm trying hard to keep it together for him. Ask my mother she'd say "she's always been a difficult child". Most people think I'm just weird or crazy. I don't have friends, my family are critical and judgemental. Thats why I'm here. I haven't worked for 5 years, I'm scared to face the world. I don't go anywhere alone because I have panic attacks. Things are getting worse. I have recently tried IVF, with no success. My insides are a mess. Part of me didn't want it to work because I'm terrified I will turn out just like my mum. I don't wish that on anyone. I don't have any fond memories of her. I envy people who have a loving mum, a mum who cared. My mum says she raised me to be independent, in reality she was always drunk and I just stayed out of her way so I didn't get a flogging. My parents split when I was 15, I stayed with my dad. My mum blames me for the break up, my dad saved my life by getting me away from her. My dad and I are close, but he is my biggest critic, I can't do anything right. He doesn't like my husband and tells me all the time. Every time I see him he finds something to pick at. The tv is dusty, your a pig, go on a diet, and constantly tells me how wonderful and perfect my sister is. I feel worthless and stupid. He doesn't do feelings, and I get told to "get over it" all the time. A therapist once said I need to confront him about it. Yeh right, he'd never speak to me again! I tend to keep contact with my family to a minimum. I always end up coming home in tears. I am not perfect, I have flaws, plenty of them actually. I don't understand why they have to constantly remind me. I know I'm different and I'm mostly ok with that, but they seem to think its not ok. In fact my mum only tells people she has 2 kids. Maybe she has forgotten about me! So I sit here in my own little world, wiping away the tears so no one sees. Wondering if it will ever get any better. I talk to my dogs and they look at me as if they understand. I just want to be free from the pain and hurt. I want to be free to be myself.

Susanbr helpless
  • replies: 1

I am suffering from depression and am taking medication and seeing a psycotherapist. I have everything I need in life but a very small recent event has triggered this chronic illness. I have suffered from very mild depression throughout my life but n... View more

I am suffering from depression and am taking medication and seeing a psycotherapist. I have everything I need in life but a very small recent event has triggered this chronic illness. I have suffered from very mild depression throughout my life but never like this. I can't stop crying, everything feels hopeless. I can't get out of bed until midday. I have taken to sleeping on the sofa with a quilt around me because it feels safe. I don't even want to open my eyes to face the day.I am trying to work though this event with my psycotherapist and all the other issues that have happened in my life that this event has triggered off. I can't move on and I am feeling lost, full of sadness, can't see a future I am in such a dark, dark place right now.

Sez Recently Disagnosed
  • replies: 4

Less than a month ago I was diagnosed with depression after months I had been battling each day and it was beginning to take control of my life. I found it hard to get up in the morning to get ready to go to work. I have been on medication just under... View more

Less than a month ago I was diagnosed with depression after months I had been battling each day and it was beginning to take control of my life. I found it hard to get up in the morning to get ready to go to work. I have been on medication just under a month but struggling with them as they make me feel sick all the time. Is this the norm?? I feel isolated and alone

Angelwings_13 Suffering in (relative) silence
  • replies: 2

Hello all, I'm very new to Online Forums, but would greatly appreciate the unbiased views of others. I'm a mum of four young adult children, 45 years old, and have suffered depression previously post-natally, as well as on and off over the years. In ... View more

Hello all, I'm very new to Online Forums, but would greatly appreciate the unbiased views of others. I'm a mum of four young adult children, 45 years old, and have suffered depression previously post-natally, as well as on and off over the years. In relation to my current diagnosed depression, it began in early 2007. Up until about 6-8 months ago I was coping quite well, just on anti-depressants. I also worked full time as a Senior Legal Assistant, and as a Civil Celebrant on weekends. But now my world has come crashing down, and I'm struggling to make sense of it. Around the same time my husband started a new FIFO job, our 20yo started to rebel against my authority. As a result, I found myself taking more and more time off work. My employer found out about my depression. In a rash moment one day, I emailed my resignation to him. The next day I sent a further email requesting to rescind my resignation, as I had since reconsidered and recognised the decision had been made on the spur of the moment. You see, deep down inside I loved my job, I had done it well for almost two years. But my boss declined, and advised me he would be ACCEPTING my resignation. Suddenly I felt the stigma of depression had reached out and touched me, quite literally. My condition, I believe, was too hard for them to handle. And with that, the one thing that kept me focussed and in touch with 'reality' was gone. That was a month ago. I'm still struggling to find a suitable role elsewhere. But I also suffer a chronic pain condition. You can't see it, so people don't understand it. Three levels fused in my lumbar spine, three levels in my neck, including an artificial disc. When I last wanted to see my neurosurgeon, I was told he had taken his own life the day before. And now no other neurosurgeon will 'touch' me. Pain management has only rendered a 'band aid' effect. Even the strongest pain patches provided limited relief. I recently changed GPs, who have changed my medication. So that's a 'brief' overview of my life! I have a very close and supportive family, in particular my husband and parents. But I struggle to really reveal my true feelings to any of them. My GP has referred me for counselling, but I'm struggling to want to leave the house. I'm constantly thinking about death (only my own), even though I try not to, especially at night! I constantly cry, sometimes for no good reason. I feel total hopelessness with my situation, my illness, my life. Is this increase in my symptoms just the transition with medications? I can't tell my family what's really going on, I'm too ashamed. But I feel like the medication is having no effect at all. My mood is still low, and I'm still in such a dark place. The cost of regular doctor visits - as well as counselling - is quite prohibitive, which is another reason I probably shy away from seeking help. I feel so alone, it's easier just to suffer in silence.

jord Alone again
  • replies: 3

Feels like I'm constantly alone. Most of the time, people only contact me when they want or need something. I've reached out to people a couple of times & I don't think people know how or can be there for me. I know I've set up these unbalanced relat... View more

Feels like I'm constantly alone. Most of the time, people only contact me when they want or need something. I've reached out to people a couple of times & I don't think people know how or can be there for me. I know I've set up these unbalanced relationships because of a need to please others. It just feels like when I need a little help or even human contact, wherever I turn, its not there. Feels like I need to learn to do everything alone, but there are times I just don't want to. I spend a lot of time on my own. I feel like I just need to connect, to not feel alone anymore.

TK Sad all the time
  • replies: 2

I have just 22 i work full time and study at uni part time, recently over the last 8 months i have been feeling constantly sad i cant sleep at night, i cry at night because nothing seems to be going right for me, i have stopped hanging around my frie... View more

I have just 22 i work full time and study at uni part time, recently over the last 8 months i have been feeling constantly sad i cant sleep at night, i cry at night because nothing seems to be going right for me, i have stopped hanging around my friends i have stopped eating regular meals and have found myself drinking alcoholic drinks in large volumes in an effort to feel happiness, whats wrong with me?