Am i depressed?

[DarkSunshine]

Hi everyone,

I've started a thread as I am not sure as to whether I am actually depressed or just very over-dramatic / moody. I have completed the beyond blue checklist and it came out with a high. I didn't want to self-diagnose anything and so i decided to try out all the online checks i could find - of which all also said the same. Even after so many tests, I wasn't satisfied as I am in my teenage years anyways so it may just be me being over-dramatic and moody. I have come here to ask if anyone could help me figure out whether i may actually be depressed or if it's just a phase (age). I am willing to answer any questions (may be brief though).

The reason I have been reluctant but to come here is because I can't go to my GP or anyone as I'm too scared for my parents to find out - I don't think they'd be very happy. Would mean a lot if someone could help me out because my behavior lately has been driving me and (pretty sure) everyone around me crazy.

Thank you for your time and sorry for bothering everyone on here who have to go through so much more while i whine about my minor problems.

[DarkSunshine]

Goodmorning (well morning for me?) Doolhof,

Thank you! I guess i'll try that out - honestly though, i don't think i have the patience, but definitely will give it a go.

I would move on after a stumble, if there was actually something to move on for. I feel so empty, like nothing is worth the effort anymore. Like everything that used to make me happy has completely left. I don't even know how to express my feelings properly anymore. I can't tell when i'm happy anymore. It's getting really tough and no matter how hard i try - nothing seems to go my way.

I have had a quick look around and tried to take part in as many conversations as i could. Just a bit scared i'll say something i'm not meant to.

Aww, i really do hope you get well soon. Take the weekends to rest and get some fast recovering. Get well soon once again and have a great weekend. Wishing you all the best.

- DarkSunshine

[Doolhof]

Hi DarkSunshine,

Lovely to hear from you! Thankfully my ear does not hurt anywhere near as bad as it did the first day. I went out to do some gardening earlier on. As it was windy, I wore a beany to protect my ear.

I'd like to encourage you to keep trying to connect here on the forum. Some threads are very active and others take a while to receive a reply. It is no reflection on you or anyone else, just the way a forum works.

There are rules to follow on the forum and there are moderators who check things out, so if any of us writes something inappropriate, they are quickly sorted. Please don't be afraid of what you write, we all make mistakes now and then.

You mentioned that you feel that everything that made you happy has left. Can you consider what used to make you happy and see if you can re-introduce some of that into your life again.

Maybe you can find new ways to be happy and content.

When we have little enthusiasm, determination or drive, it can be difficult to see a point in anything. Life can feel like there is no purpose or meaning.

To me, that is when I have to start looking for purpose and meaning all over again.

Today I pushed myself to go for a walk. I had hoped I would walk every day, I can go weeks without going for a walk. So today I have achieved something.

Is there one thing you could do tomorrow that will help you feel more cheerful about your day?

Wishing you all the best too.

Cheers from Dools

[DarkSunshine]

Hi Doolhof,

That's good then. It's nice to know you have managed to get better.

I do try my best and plan on trying even harder.

The one thing that used to keep me happy - i know i can't get back. My other passion used to be music - and now all i ever do is find meaning behind the lyrics and relate them to my life and breakdown. It's like a constant cycle.

I have a test tomorrow and absoultely no motivation into studying. I was always a straight A student, i don't know what's happened to me now. I'm planning on winging the test and hoping I won't fail.

Blurring such worries, how was your day?

- DarkSunshine

[Doolhof]

Hi DarkSunshine,

All the best with your test. Hope you manage to retain enough information to get through. When we are feeling down and depressed it can be difficult to remember and recall information.

If you don't do so well, don't think of it as a failure, just as a bump in the road. It is a reflection of how you are feeling right now.

Can you find songs with more gentle lyrics or listen to music without words to enjoy the sound of music.

I'm sure you are trying your best right now DarkSunshine. I do know there are times when life seems very dark and overwhelming.

Would you consider one of the phone help lines so you have someone to talk with? I have used them many times. The support people are there to listen and offer some advice.

We also need to accept some days all we can do may not seem like our best, but for that day, it may be all we can do, so there for it is our best.

Expecting too much from ourselves can be harmful as well. We need to find a balance. Achieve what we can on each day. Some days that is minute by minute.

I hope that makes sense. Some days are harder than others. We get through them the best way we can.

Wishing you strength for the day, cheers from Dools

[Doolhof]

Hi DarkSunshine,

Just dropping by to see how you are getting on. Hope you are doing okay.

Cheers from Dools

[DarkSunshine]

Hi Dools,

Sorry about leaving for so long. The past few months have been harder on me and it's only getting once. I'm trying to get everything back on track after 2 months of I don't even know what.

It's very selfish of me to just disappear, sorry. How are you doing?

Also thank you so much for the advice and for dropping by to check on me. I hope you're doing well too.

-DarkSunshine