Worst Joke Wednesday

[Neil_1]

Hi all

I know a while back there was a thread with some jokes on it - just to try and lighten the load for folk and to provide a few jolly japes and spiffy spifferoons (those words etched in my memory bank from the late and great Kenny Everitt).  However, I was far to lazy to try and find the other thread, so thought I'd start up a new one WJW.

Here we go people, something to start you off with:

"When I was a small boy, I had a dog named Tax.  I'd open the door and "Income Tax""

"That very same year, I had a bird called Enza.  I'd open the window and "Influenza"

Now, they can't be done on any other day - for it is after all, Worst Joke Wednesday.

See if you can beat either of those?

[Croix]

What do you get when you mix a broccoli and a melon?

The saddest vegetable known to man: a melonccoli.

[Croix]

If you ask me what my favorite rock band is and I'm being subjective, I'd say The Who.

If I was being objective, I'd say it was The Whom.

[Eagle Ray]

A new rock band decided to write their first song about how frustrating they find it trying to get good mobile phone reception. What did they call their first single and band?

I Can’t Get No Reception by The Rolling Phones

[Croix]

What do you get when you cross a rock band with a computer?

Heavy metal that crashes!

[Eagle Ray]

When half way back down the mountain a mountaineer suddenly realised he’d left his toilet paper at the summit. What rock song did he sing to motivate himself as he climbed back up to get it?

It’s a Long Way to the Top if You Want a Toilet Roll

[sbella02]

I'll stick with the music theme, this one's a little morbid:

What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

[Eagle Ray]

Mine's a little morbid too.

What do you get when a senior military officer has an unfortunate encounter with a steam roller while practising the trumpet for the military band?

A Flat Major

[Croix]

Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear.

[Eagle Ray]

Why did the orchestral player train everyday at the gym?

Because he wanted to be fit as a fiddle.

[sbella02]

What sorts of songs do planets sing?

Nep-tunes