Worst Joke Wednesday

[Neil_1]

Hi all

I know a while back there was a thread with some jokes on it - just to try and lighten the load for folk and to provide a few jolly japes and spiffy spifferoons (those words etched in my memory bank from the late and great Kenny Everitt).  However, I was far to lazy to try and find the other thread, so thought I'd start up a new one WJW.

Here we go people, something to start you off with:

"When I was a small boy, I had a dog named Tax.  I'd open the door and "Income Tax""

"That very same year, I had a bird called Enza.  I'd open the window and "Influenza"

Now, they can't be done on any other day - for it is after all, Worst Joke Wednesday.

See if you can beat either of those?

[romantic_thi3f]

I accidentally swallowed a bunch of scrabble tiles today.

My next trip could spell disaster!

[Croix]

My wife found out I was cheating on her after she found all the letters I was hiding!

She got mad and said she is never playing Scrabble with me again!

[sbella02]

RT and Croix, I had a little chuckle at both of those.

What did the sea say to the shore?

Nothing, it just waved.

[romantic_thi3f]

A weasel walks into a bar and the bartender says "Wow, I've never served a weasel before.  What can I get you?"

"Pop," goes the weasel.

[Croix]

What does the sea weasel want after their bedtime story?

"An otter one!"

[sbella02]

Why couldn't the bicycle stand up for itself?

It was two tired.

[Croix]

“I’ve really had it with my dog: he’ll chase anyone on a bicycle.”

“So what are you going to do – leave him at the dog’s home? Give him away? Sell him?”

“No, nothing that drastic. I think I’ll just confiscate his bike.”

[mmMekitty]

[LRC ROTFL! & in the speech bubble: Good one, Walrus!]

[sbella02]

This made my day reading it Croix, lol.

This one is from my sister:

Why is the nose in the middle of the face?

It's the scenter. 

(Centre, hehehe)

[Croix]

One time my math professor asked everyone in class to write a complex number on their forehead

You could probably imagine the expressions on our faces.